Hey jackass with the one-eyed dog: I know you are the one leaving bags of dog shit on lawns…take that shit with you, son. —I’m On to You

This article appears in Nov 8-14, 2012.

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  2. I do a morning walk on a nature trail and when I go past a certain tree it is decorated with hanging bags of shit people drift into the woods. The bags of crap are hanging on the tree like ornaments. Unbelievable. So much for ecological kindness. Shit slingers and their shit hounds shouldn’t be allowed on the nature trails. It is disgusting to those of us who actually enjoy a nature trail.

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  3. I’m a dog owner and consider myself to be a responsible one. I always clean up after my pet and cart the bag with me until I can find the nearest garbage can. I understand the reasoning behind this as it’s a courtesy to others, dog owners and non-dog owners alike, who use the same sidewalk/path/trail, etc. No one likes to step in a pile of turd. I get it and I do my part to try and prevent that. However, I gotta ask, does anyone else find the whole “bag your poop” concept just a little backwards? I mean, think about it. You have a pet that performs the most basic and natural of biological functions, (i.e. shit), just like every other living creature on this planet, and rather than let this naturally produced substance breakdown into it’s basic elements and return to the earth as nature intended, what do we do? We bag that shit up in plastic, hermetically sealing it, and toss it into the trash where, if it’s not burned giving off toxic smoke, it’s thrown into a landfill where it sits for decades. Just curious if anyone else finds this just a little counter-intuitive? Just a general question. Struck me a little funny, is all.

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  4. you’re righ avast… but I don’t think the government would even consider making signs such as, “If your dog shits on the trail, by-law 837 states you must pick it up and fling it into the nearest wooded area”

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  5. I know bagging is the best practical solution to the problem at the moment. I’m not suggesting that we should all carry around shit flingers and such. It just struck me as a little odd.

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  7. I’m still miffed that you didn’t introduce me to her Vastie. You know, we have a saying at the shoppe – “The day a dog comes in and says ‘Hyuk, Ya think ya got enough books, Hurr, Durr’ – that’s the day dogs will no longer be welcome.” >: (

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  9. i am a poop flinger when needed. mostly they go at home before we hit the trails, and i do carry bags, but they both usually go off-trail for poops. breaks down in 24 hrs.
    avast – high head, prospect. dog bliss walkies.

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  10. You can buy compostable bags Avasto but other than that, the fact is carnivore feces is harsh to most plants and can be dangerous to humans as it carries pathogens. Ever noticed that our shit and dog and cat shit smells a lot worse than say horse shit? Herbivores have just the right chemical balance in their shit for plants because of their digestive system.
    Plants and animals evolved in a state where the herbivores vastly outnumbered the carnivores and all the free elimination of their waste obviously outnumbered the carnivore crap. Now we have 7 billion humans and their pets (dogs, cats and not much in the way of cattle) overpopulating as well. We have to be very careful in how we manage this new mountain of meat-eater’s poop. Better bag it.

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  15. Matter of fact a lot of dogs eat their own shit. Still, I hate shit hounds and bags of it hanging from trees. Yeah starve em out and maybe more dogs will eat their shit.

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  16. if you feed your dogs a decent diet, and not the sawdust they sell at the vets or grocery stores, it will disappear quickly. the slugs eat my dogs’ poop.

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  17. Wow. I’m glad I didn’t say that Ivan. lol
    So sorry lad. I meant no offence but when I came to visit you, the pup was at home snoozing in a random sunbeam after a most excellent, long walk and romp with the other pups at Pt Pleasant on Saturday morning.

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  19. unfortunately PG, she survives on her own festering bile.
    (and if she is just having a bit of fun, trying to provoke a response, quite frankly i don’t give a rat’s ass. i will take that bait, anytime or couldn’t live with myself)

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  22. Saw the new 007 on the weekend. EXCELLENT movie. Mr. Craig is, dare I say it, by far THE best Bond yet. (Sorry Ivan. All due reshpect to Mishta Connery).
    A very cool nod to Goldfinger, I thought, with the cameo appearance of the original DB-5.

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  23. True story, Avast! An incredible addition to the Bond franchise, with a lot of throwbacks to some of the older films. I personally loved the visuals, a lot of first class cinematography, but also complimented with a stirring soundtrack and well structured dialogue. “It’s a rat eat rat world.”

    The Captain rates it at 4.5-5 Stars

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  25. Last rat standing, Captain.
    Completely agree. Full tilt action right from the start. Excellent dialogue. Nothing cheesy or over the top. I thought Mr. Bardem played an excellent villain as well. Cinematography was excellent. None of the jerky camera movements during high-action scenes as in the previous 2 Bonds. I’m not a huge fan of Adele but I think her theme song is spot on. (Been humming it all morning) Couple her smokey voice and melody with the opening psychodelic-esque credit sequence and it has that classic, vintage 60’s Bond feel about it.
    I went to see it in the Crossing and if you are able to, do yourself a favour and spring the extra bucks to see it in what they call the Empire Extra Theatre. Definitely, (<

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  26. PART II (not sure what happened there??)

    …Definitely, (notice the spelling Nukka 😉 worth it, just for the brown-note inducing sub-woofers alone. (There was one explosion sequence where it literally felt like the roof had just been blown off the theatre) Plus, the luxurious pleather reclining seats make it a much more comfortable experience. Don’t worry about sticking to the seats, though. A few strategically placed drops of imitation popcorn butter will let you slide right out! lol

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  28. Ooops! Sorry. You’re right Painy. Dog poo is a much more interesting subject. 😉 lol
    Cool pic btw. Nice collection of Bond-mobiles.

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  29. Oooohhhhh, Painey. Now THAT is a toy collection. But WTF is the yellow Simca doing there.
    That’s like seeing a white guy in a boxing ring. *Musta gotten lost on the way back to his seat* ^^^^

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  33. Ah, the old “Deux Cheval”. For people who found the Volkswagen Beetle too ostentatious a ride.

    Thanks Vastie. Gotta love the anti-theft option on the Lotus. It’s shame that never caught on.

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  34. bread lady… I watched them all in order with a friend to count all those.
    Glad to see someone took it a step further.
    I wonder if the lotus actually doubles as a submarine in that car collection.

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  37. Thanks vastie… I completely forgot I still haven’t watched that episode yet….
    And I hate the adele intro for skyfall… though I’m pretty sure I was going to hate anything she came up with regardless.

    I think my favorites are Chris Cornell opening for Casino Royale and Garbage opening for The world is not enough. Too catchy.

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  39. I liked Chris Cornell and, believe it or not, the unlikely duet of Alicia Keys and Jack White doing Another Way to Die from Quantum of Solace. It was an odd pairing but I think it worked.

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  40. I like to leave a dump trucks load of shit on my fucking landlords lawn.I’m without heat and hot water now and it’s suppoosed to get cold tonight.

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