As a young, attractive and smart girl, I find it a very discouraging experience to find someone on my level. Mind you, I do work full-time and I am a single mom, but I either get really old creepy men hitting on me or I scare the younger guys away, and I can only simmer this down to the fact that I am intimidating because I am smart and too normal. I guess what guys really want is just sex in this city and nothing more. If you are an airhead and all you really want is sex, you are in luck. If you want a good, solid guy with character who isn’t a criminal or a moocher or a player it is harder than the media has made us believe. I’m a great catch but what saddens me is the grossest people or people who seem least desirable always have a man attached to them. Am I missing something? I have even tried online dating and the trolls I have found on there were no more than liars, manipulators and assholes. Tell me, I know there are great guys out there, I have met them and this is not written to hurt men. But where have all the good men gone? I am tired of only being a night call and nothing more. Exhausted…and looking. —The Cute Girl Without a Boyfriend
This article appears in Sep 6-12, 2012.
well, your ego seems intact
They love me in France…
Maybe give the whole ” I’m all that an a Bag of Chips” a rest and you may get on better.
I’ll take you out on a date (a nice one). And you know what? You don’t even have to put out for me to buy you dinner. How’s that for a deal?!
Well first off, stop sleeping with em! That sure helps weed them out. And as I have said on here too many times, look outside of your normal ‘type’. That doesnt mean you need to date a gross old man, but maybe date someone who isnt a carbon copy of the rest you have dated. I ended up with an amazing man, but hes NOT what I would normally have gone for. Luckily he was brilliant and funny and we clicked intelluctually before the other things got in the way.
Next post like this I vote we demand pictures of all these girls and grade them.
Yes, I’m 100% sure it’s your amazing intelligence and has nothing to do with the kid you’re dragging around. Good thing you’re got it all figured out already.
When did you have your kid?
18? 24?
Most dudes in their 20’s aren’t looking to settle down just yet…
and be a father figure right off the bat, no less.
You aren’t scaring them away with your intimidating and smart personality… it’s the immediate responsibility and commitment they’re trying to avoid.
The older guys are more in that place, creepy or otherwise.
Keep on looking… or wait until cougerville approaches.
where are all these fucking tits coming from? fuck me, we have been getting a lot of these either fake or self egotistical fucking asshole lately. so, you think you are too good for most males. well then, just stay the fuck home and get a hugo dildo, most match your personality anyway. just vain pieces of shit that have no emotions or feelings, just like you seem to be.
yep, either this is more bullshit, or the o.p. will be a lonely old hag, with no one to blame but herself. hope this brightens your day there sunshine?
I got a feeling it has to do with you being a single mom. To most young single guys a woman with kids makes them run the other direction.
BLOW: again even IF and that is a big IF you had something worthwhile to say your profane mouth waters it all down to nothing but spewing of profanity. Learn to speak intelligently IN English and maybe we would know what the heck you were saying, if anything. Then again it sounds an awful lot like your mindless manic drivel again. Sleep man, Sleep. For your sake and Ours!
To The OP: You are right, most guys today are not worth their salt. They are so used to getting other women who have NO self respect as a one night stand that the good women hardly stand a chance. But the good news is: There are some good men still left out there, not many mind you but I do know of a few. Those Good Men do not want a one night stand for a permanent woman. I suggest you continue on with your good ethics and morals. Basically like calls to like. If you are a cheap slut you will meet up with same. But, in your case, you sound like a decent hard working woman. It is only a matter of time before the right guy, a decent hard working man shows up in your world. Consider yourself luck you don’t have to contend and deal with the rest of the assholes who are only seeking a quick lay. You have self respect and it shows. A REAL man will value that in a woman; the others, not so much. Why? Because they already know they can’t pull the wool over your eyes with sweet nothings. You desire a quality man and guess what? If that is who you desire and deserve why should you ever settle for the trash out there. Hang in there honey. A GOOD man will appreciate you for you not for your ability to be his trash can.
“the grossest people or people who seem least desirable always have a man attached to them…”
jealous? maybe not the “catch” you think you are?
if you have an IQ over 125 you should be able to figure this out….what do you think the odds are that you will find a good person with which to share your (and your child’s) life?
unless you were widowed, you had some say in becoming a single mom. stay that way until your child is ready to move out. then enter the dating scene. you have no right to drag that child into your personal needs ‘for a man’.
There are a lot of jealous women on here so don’t be bothered by their remarks. As for the men, most of them are a little put out because you evidently have self respect and don’t want a loser. Good for you. Don’t settle.
woggie, read the OP again. she says she is ‘tired of only being a night call’ ….which means, does it not? that she has already been giving the milk away for free. she wants to have nice single-life dating experience. with nice, stable men. oh, but gee whiz, she has a child. well, just tuck the little one into a separate compartment of her life.
She says a ‘night call’. She never said she was a bootie call. Big difference. She probably is on to the assholes by now that are looking for the bootie call. Which is the majority of the losers out there. MAKE THEM WAIT! Woggsies’ words to live by!
One can date while being a single parent Good Dog. The child does not have to be dragged into anything.
OP If you think of a good place to find a nice normal man let me know.
You could also ask … Where have all the good women gone …
Meh.
…?. Some are trying to recover from the damage done by ex assholes.
Well Boru … you’re right. Sigh.
Allow yourself to feel lonely for male companionship without feeling the compulsive need to find someone to couple with. Stop looking for ‘him’ and keep yourself focused on becoming more responsible and more mature in your decision making skills so you don’t repeat the mistake that has you raising a child on your own now. Focus on the monumental task of parenting your child as a single mother in this day and age without the need for the distraction of a new romance. If it comes your way, then so be it but stop lamenting about your inability to find it. Having a boyfriend should not be a priority right now.
welcome back, donkalicious
OP Lou gave you great advice,your child should be your number one priority.
I do understand the need for the warmth of a man’s touch.
Proven fact: The minute you stop actively looking for Mr./Ms. Right and stop giving it such a high priority in your life, is exactly when you will find them. True story.
Plus what Lou said.
Welcome back Donk! We missed ya!
OP, I find it hard to feel a smidgen of sympathy for you because you come across as arrogant. “I’m a great catch but what saddens me is the grossest people or people who seem least desirable always have a man attached to them.” What? Just think a moment about what you just wrote OP. What in your high and mighty judgment makes these people gross or undesirable? They don’t have your great looks or intelligence? These folks don’t deserve companions?
My personal feeling is that you’re very bitter and it seeps through. Most guys don’t want to deal with that and the less mature gents don’t want to deal with the kid.
Maybe you are a great catch but you don’t come across that way. Try tempering your attitude and stop being so judgmental.
by the way o.p., speaking as an old, creepy horny bastard that i am. old guys put more into the act, and you get more pleasure from them. even the ugly motherfuckers that are out there. but hey, look up wheelie p, he will probly rock your world, and i believe he is single at this time.
woggie, you are use foul language here, assholes indeed. you are going straight to your hell now, for sure.
BLOW: hahahahaha ‘old guys put more into the act’. Ahhhhh yeah, since they have so much trouble gettin it up… hhahahahhaha. They try and try but without the viagra they’re useless. Ahhhh maybe I spoke too soon, maybe you better stick to what you know. Shit all. Foul language included to throw people off track and keep them thinking you actually know what you are talking about. ‘Old guys put more into the act’. PRICELESS COMMENT!!! lolololol!!!!!
OP. You sound so full of yourself. Go to Montreal and you might find a man of your caliber.
You’re a good catch… like a sperm whale?
Ignore the rude comments from a few of the posters. They are probably just like the ones you DON”T entertain. Probably bitter since their bootie calls are getting slimmer pickins. You sound like a very smart girl doing a great job of raising your child. Keep on keeping on. It is hard to find a decent man but remember, like attracts like. You Will Find a Good Guy.
I’m with OP on this one and Wogdog’s first comments… WD strikes to the heart of the rational.
i myself have tread in the online dating world and do you know what? It’s filled with hopeful damaged women…. (read ‘easy prey’, if that’s your thing). I’m not saying there’s not good women on those sites but they are the exeption to the pool rather than the general pool rule. Single mothers especially. No offence OP but you’re in troubled company and those aside from you (assuming you’re heart is genuine) ruin, and darken any hope to find the needle in the hay stack. Assuming again, that you are the needle you speak yourself to be. Those sites are filled with the lonely broken hearted deparately searching for the imaginary completion of their own unself-actualized dark sorrow. I say Shrugmeh. Let them swirl the drain on their own with their own kind. The real men you seek don’t need to grease their rods for the sake of simply greasing them.
Keep in mind as you judge the ‘older man’. The aged man understands more through the experience of time what truly matters to the heart. And it ain’t a quicky… it’s a… heheh… longy…. and a deepy…. and a true connection of the heart. The one we all seek. When you find it OP you’ll know it. So, let it go for now, it’ll come. Trust in the Universe and the Universe will provide. Just keep your eyes open.
PS: What is wrong with saying she is a great catch??? I don’t get that part. She doesn’t sound arrogant to me, she is speaking her truth. Yeah I think a lot of guys get intimidated by a woman who has it all together. They would rather find one in some shit hole of a house, out of work, and just waiting for a miracle man to happen. Well, not this chick. Sorry guys you don’t get the chance to pretend you are Mr Big only to find out later you are a dickhead. usually without a job and sleeping on mama’s couch. Yeah, keep your standards high honey, you don’t need some little mama’s boy to take care of. You know your worth and that is called, SELF ESTEEM. A foreign concept for a lot of women but not her. Good girl.
RSVP
: Senor Campana (09/07, 7:03AM)
That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said in a long time, Campana. I hope she’ll let me know when she’ll be arriving at Trudeau. Don’t want to make that honey wait.
By the way, that should read “calibre.”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I don’t care about your post.. you want some cheese to go with that whine.. you’re not the only one with problems.. get over it and focus on you.. and as for the point of my reply, its sex AND the city..not sex IN the city..obviously not a fan of that show 🙂
well sure one can date while a single parent. sure. are most people capable of doing it without wreaking havoc on their child’s life? no. woggie, do you think this woman wants to go to the ice cream parlour on a date? do you think she wants to be taken for dinner then a chaste kiss goodnight at the door? no. she does not. she wants a BOYFRIEND. she wants a man in her life, dating is just the means to get there. she wants love and sex and to be a couple. and then she wants to live with the guy so he can help pay the bills, or maybe get really lucky and she can quit work and stay home and mist the plants. i wonder if she always pays her own way on ‘dates’. if not, what is she exchanging for the dinner/movie/drinks/tickets? the joy of her presence? sheesh. OP, a ‘good catch’ would be a 6 figure paying career, your own home, a vehicle and no child. you WILL attract pedophiles who will honey up to you to get to your child. do NOT bring a man into your life while your child is young. and if you think you can carry on a normal ‘boyfriend’ relationship without ever having your child affected, you are living in fantasy land. or you are willing to put the blinders on yourself. the next 15 or 20 years are not punishment for any crime, it is not a crime to be a single parent. but it should be your prime focus. your most important job in the world is bringing up that small human.
“Yeah I think a lot of guys get intimidated by a woman who has it all together. They would rather find one in some shit hole of a house, out of work, and just waiting for a miracle man to happen.”
Oh give me a fucking break. Sounds like you’ve had some real winners.
When someone feels cheated or wronged because they haven’t found someone that screams sense of entitlement to me. Nothing sexier than a hard working woman who has her shit at least somewhat together but someone who has that “why don’t people want to love me I’m so great something must be wrong with them” attitude.. that’s conceit.
I was single for years, mostly by choice, but you can bet I didn’t walk around like “wtf is wrong with these bitches? Can’t they see I’m a great catch? I mean I’m smart, handsome, employed, all these guys have girlfriends and they’re losers! blah blah etc etc” You know why? Because people don’t like that shit. It’s not classy or cute, it’s arrogant.
Sorry Good Dog, but you are wrong. Emotionally stable people can both raise their child AND have a meaningfull relationship outside of the parent-child one. I know this from experience.
Sorry Wogdog, she just comes across as bitter and hateful to me. She believes most men are not worthy of her and her competition is, by and large, a bunch of slutty airheads.
How would you define that? Sure, she can hold out and wait for the right person to come along for herself and her child. That’s her choice. That’s great.
Just don’t talk about how great you are and lash out at everybody else.
coastreviewer… I’m sure that little ‘typo’ was done on purpose… and not being a fan of that stupid show is a good thing. How it spawned two movies is beyond me.
Then again, if movies like Glitter can get green-lighted, I suppose any movie is possible.
“She doesn’t sound arrogant to me, she is speaking her truth.”
so I suppose the KKK weren’t racist… they were just speaking their truth.
Hitler… just expressing his feelings…
There’s no denying she’s “Having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one’s own importance or abilities.” I don’t really think you can question that.
no FS, that does not mean i am wrong, it means the one you know of is the minority i spoke of. of course it is not impossible.
Why in the name of Sam Hill are you guys all jumping on the OP? I don’t get it. I don’t get the impression she thinks she is ‘all that’ either. She is just a woman working hard to bring up her kid and would like somewhat of a life of her own, dating, companionship, etc. No, Good Dog, I don’t think she is looking for the sarcastic description you give as to a chaste kiss, etc. Then again, she is specific when she says she isn’t looking for a one night bootie call. So what? That’s smart. But it seems to have rubbed you the wrong way. Maybe struck a nerve in you that you need to examine. She is a decent human being working hard and looking for someone in the same bracket. What is so wrong about that? You guys really strike me as a bunch of bitter, sarcastic, jealous people. Why are you criticizing her so much? Cheesh, talk about hard done by people. ughghgghghgh.
Avasto, I have disproven your ‘proven fact’. Some of the people I used to give the same advice to (hard-working, personable, attractive physically) stopped actively looking 30 years ago and guess what? There was nobody who instantly appeared in their lives, and still isn’t. Sometimes there just isn’t someone for everyone, at least not in a meaningful way. The best advice is to be happy with your life. No one needs another person to feel defined or complete, their so-called ‘other half’. That kind of neediness is precisely why many relationships fail.
agree Ocean, sometimes there isn’t someone out there. however, i do agree with avast in that it works better when you are not desperate to find someone. thinking about it, complaining about it, posting on the internet about it. people are animals and still have sense of smell, that aroma du desperation. all it attracts is the predators.
biologically are we urged to mate? yes. do we have to or die? no.
I’m not jumping on the OP, wogdog… unless she takes me up on my offer for a date, if ya know what I mean 😉
Agree Molly-pooch, desperation is a turn-off and works against the seeker, but lack of desperation doesn’t guarantee finding a mate.
Biological mating urges tend to naturally peter out (PI) with the aging process to an extent but loneliness is a lifelong driving force to seeking a mate.
lol. it’s a great thing to tell people anyway when you want them to quit friggin whining about getting a mate. and anecdotally (is that a real word?) it has seemed to work for many people i know. but a step further. once they do find someone, prospects start dropping out of trees upon them. nothing like being taken to make you shine like a newly polished penny. people are too much work. i like my dogs.
MM. Thank You. Don’t mention it.
like it or not, the fact that she has kid/s has reduced her pool of men to choose from and her suitability as a partner. single educated decent looking younger guys with good jobs do not generally want to raise another mans sperm.
sorry thats the way it is. you might luck out but in general you are looking for a needle in a haystack. to them you are an opportunity to get some pussy with little to no chance of an emotional attachment.
you would be better suited looking for other men with children, or older men who have decided they dont want kids of their own but are ok with being with a woman with kids.
There’s nothing wrong with having self esteem, as long as your not proped up on the backs of people in your life.Passive aggression towards folks that care about you, does nothing but make you look like an ass.
Perhaps the content of your charachter is why you cannot attract a partner. You see a lot of “gross people” with partners”, so why can’t you have one? What’s so gross about them? Maybe you’re shallow attidude is gross. I don’t think the problem is relative to our city, but more men in general. Decades ago, women were brought up to withhold pre-marital sex. Why buy the cow, and all that. The womens movement along with the free love of the 70’s era brought women to a new level. Like, why buy the sausage, when the whole pig is free.
you are fat and have a kid. end of story
Not only do I have a gf, Gary, I didn’t have to pay her to sleep with me, so that gets me up one more over you! lols
There’s a reason you’re single, Gary.
It’s by choice, but it’s not by YOUR choice!
—–
old guys put more into the act
—–
Hey, whatever you have to say to reassure yourself your pathetic life is worth living, let er rip.
Because you are a repulsive motherfucker, Gary More. You and your one tooth.
🙂
Your “permit to carry” isn’t for a toothbrush, is it?
Wp
Gary??? Wouldn’t happen to be describing mr. Blow Me would ya????? lol
Try volunteering, joining specific interest groups (hiking, bowling etc.) or whatever interest you might have. Maybe you’ll find that guy. Maybe find a support group for pulchritudinous, brilliant, misunderstood single parents or start one yourself.
woggie, you are just a piss ant in the world, did you really not know that. and no, i don’t and never had to pay for my nookie. unless you mean taking chick out and showing her how a lady should be treated. but that was awhile ago.
i just don’t bother with the wine and dine scene anymore. paul, good luck with your lady dude. and yeah woggie, gary is one of my names. i go by many, maybe you know me better as satin, el diablo, lucifer, nicodemis, or a legion of others. you see woggie, i am the embodyment of evil, and i suck the life energy from those that come on here.
i troll the waters that are the coast bitch site, looking for the vunerable minded people, so that i can lure them into the blackness, that is my heart. don’t go acting like you are offended woggie, i know you and i am ever closer to you. my minions are always reporting you movements.
so, if you think i’m crazy, go for it. i couldn’t care a shit bit of difference, one way or another. i know who i am, and what i say and do. at least i don’t hide behind a false idol.
Satin – what a pretty name, Gary. Satin is one of my favorite fabrics, so soft!
“What saddens me is the grossest people or people who seem least desirable always have a man attached to them”
That’s a shallow statement, if I’ve ever seen one. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dear. Obviously these “Gross, undesirable” women possess a beauty which lies outside of your shallow-minded perception.
Young, attractive and smart does not always mean you are a “great catch”. Maybe you are so busy chasing waterfalls, that you fail to see the more obtainable streams and lakes?
Nice pic Hezz! Yeah, that line caught my eye too. It’s the meat of the reason I think she has attitude issues.
Something about your post reminded me of the 90s girl group TLC, speaking of pulchritudinous (I love that word).
BLOW ME: you are getting hot under the collar again. time for your meds Gary……
Thanks Troodon (blushing) 🙂
I confess…I totally stole that line from TLC, but threw in a stream instead of a lake!
Woggie, you seem to have a fascination for our resident jack of all trades. You mock him and call him foul-mouthed but I think “you doth protest too much”. ; )
I wuz diggin it, hezz. Gonna go play that song now. Next on the playlist will be scrubs..
“No I don’t want no scrubs…”