Dear ex-girlfriend: Get over yourself! I’m sorry I went off the deep end when we broke up; you acted like a bitch without a soul, and I was a drug addicted petty pathetic sad sack of shit without a friend in the world. I get that, and I’m sorry for loving you for 7 years. Here we are 2 years later, and I see you everywhere I go. You refuse to acknowledge my existence even though I clearly do. The order being dropped might have something to do with you moving into an apartment within the parameters you had created! I’m not looking to make contact, I’m not looking to make amends. I just want you to realize that you were fucked up too, and I forgive you. This city is super fucking small and when you keep tabs on me, it gets back to me. I have worked hard on myself for a long time to change my life and who I am. I’d like to go to a concert without having to worry I’ll run into you and ruin both of our nights. Grow the fuck up and try to remember why you were my best friend all those years ago, and believe that the mental health system in Nova Scotia has some merit. I’m not the person I was before and I hope to God you aren’t either. But from what I’ve seen, you are nothing more then a repressed little shit disturber. —Just Learning to Trust People Now
This article appears in May 19-25, 2011.
I realllly don’t see why you still care so much about your ex-girlfriend. I see people I don’t like in public and I don’t try to be nice and say hi to them, I ignore them and they ignore me. It’s great. You both should try it.
Dude, she doesn’t want to talk to you. Let it go.
He obviously still has feelings for this woman, but snoop is right….time to let it go. Shit is tough man I feel ya, but you just have to man up. Grow a beard, learn to play guitar, and pick up some hipster chick that will diddle your dangle while you sing songs about happiness.
..dude ..move on …or it could turn bad..for you methinks.
Wrong OB, seasons change, politics change, the weather changes (I think, lately Halisucks hasn’t shown it can much), but people. They never, ever change. You havn’t, and she hasn’t forget her and move on.
flashback!
hey now, it’s rough… I mean especially if they’re young, they would have been best friends for a big chunk of their life… and likely most of the adult life.
that’s hard to let go of… even in 2 years.
kudo’s to you for making yourself better and dusting yourself off….
others would just spiral into a void of self hatred and loathsome depression.
*ahem*.
way to take the middle road.
The high road is what you were on…
and the low road would cost you a fortune.
OP, it sounds like each of you is still bitter and has a different way of dealing with it. Like you say, you were together for 7 years and have only been over for two; it’s great that you’ve made positive changes to yourself since the relationship, and you should be proud, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t still have some resentments towards you; maybe not speaking to you is the easiest way for her to deal right now. I’m not doubting she had her own problems in the relationship, but if you were a drug addict while with her, I am willing to bet you put her through the emotional ringer in a very special way. You most definetly allude to that in your post, so why are you calling her a “bitch” for not wanting to be friends with you? Just because you’ve forgiven yourself doesn’t mean she has to; your relationship has ended, afterall. I know it would be nice because you could have some closure to things, but that’s life. .
well o.p., there is always out of province, or a bullit to the head. both are drastic yeah, but other than that, you is kerfucked. yep, you will run into each other, and yep, it will be awkward. but life keeps rolling on, and so should you.
you say you want no contact, but this is a sort of contact , in a very indirect sort of way. and if a bond was still in place, you could be charged. silly laws aren’t good for everyone, and if person did indeed move into the area you are, too bad. remember, you were the one they didn’t want near them. the other person can move next door, hell, even across the hall from you. but you would still have to abide by the conditions set out in bond. and what makes you think you are off it? because she moves close to you, better check it out dude. just sayin’.
Judging by what you say in your post I’m assuming there was some sort of restraining order in place between you and your girlfriend, OP. I wonder if she is still afraid of you and that’s why she won’t ackowledge your existence. How can you really blame her if that’s the case? At first I thought it was merely gross that you refer to her as a bitch for not talking to you, but after a little more thought, I think it’s more disturbing than gross! Judging by the fact that you’re calling her that after everything you’ve alluded here to having put her through, it sounds like she has reason to keep a distance!
It’d be nice if she could be civil, OB, but since she’s not I guess you gotta just pretend she doesn’t exist. I feel for you it sucks when someone whose world you used to rock doesn’t want to even talk to you. You can’t force her to act like an adult tho, success is the best revenge.
That’s a big assumption Z
I have to say, I agree with Z. OP says he “went off the deep end” when they broke up, and that he was a “drug addicted petty pathetic sack of shit”. Chances are pretty good that he put this girl through hell. Even if they were both equally at fault for the shitty end to their relationship, she has every right to set her own boundaries, including not ever wanting to talk to him again, and he needs to accept that. Calling her a bitch and continuing to try and make contact when she obviously doesn’t want it amounts to harassment, and even, potentially, stalking.
OP needs to grow the fuck up and move on. If he’s really changed like he says he has, he needs to respect his ex’s decision to not have contact, and just get on with his life. If he can’t do that, he’s probably still a petty, pathetic sack of shit.
you lucky son of a freakin bitch, wow, what i would not do, to run into someone u changed my life drastically, it was such a life changing experience, and i would soooooo love to run into her the way u run into this ex. yo man, i wasnt expecting to feel what i did. ok she will always be my hero and i can never never give my heart to anyone, and im 24, she was 47 when i met her 2 yrs ago, she came over for a frew hours had pizza, some beer, but i got to know her without even wanting to start xxxx stuff. she has neen to prison for 22 yrs, lost both breast to cancer, could have died, lost a load of weight, and u know the kick in the teeth, she says to me j i have to tell u something, i’m hiv positive, and to this very freakin day i wish i could have explained that i be with her , friend or anything, but we talked more and i am busy, and find it hard to walf around, so just do me this favor, u get the chance to talk or explain how u feel , from young dude to another, just do it, u r so going to regret this later, u need this closure, if not foe u, but for the next lady u would be dating, so she doe not have to hear any of this shit, bless u maan , wish i had ur luck, in the run into department, faacc
You sound like a really nice, open person JR. Sometimes a person who is a complete handful can be worth the hassel…but if you blew it off, a part of you obviously had reservations and sometimes that voice is worth listening to.
you know guys, the more i read this bitch, the more i think of what happened to my grand daughter’s mom. son of a bitch step daddy, beat the fuck out of mom, smacked little one, terrorized them both, and then, smashed little one’s bed, destroyed or gave just about all her toys away, and ripped just about all her clothes up. and this little one, is not quite 4 yet.
and there might even be a slim chance, that he molested the little one, she is starting to say some real fucking god awful things to me of late. she won’t go to sleep, unless grampy is there in bed, til she drifts off, and if she wakes, and i’m not there, she’ll scream bloody murder.
the douchebag cocksucker was a drunk for years, then stopped, then started up again, smoked dope,( we just found that out lately from little one), and was a general asshole. i guess he also has a real child, about 12, he isn’t allowed to even contact in any form.
o.p., i have nothing but loathing for scumbag bastards like you. and maybe if you died today, you would be doing everyone a fucking huge favor. and if this is the creep that i’m writing about, you better get the fuck out of town pronto. because i will be looking for you again soon. fuck this pisses me off by the second,grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Good Lord Lifer – that’s horrific. Have you, Grandmom & Mom taken the little one to a doctor or counselor to check this out. I hope to hell it’s not the worst case scenario. Keeping a good thought for all of you.
hello, this is for Z, there was no blowing off, what happened that day was after my second beer, she went in her purse, showed an old pic, i asked her what kind are those pills, since i didn’t know at time what valium does when drinkin, i saod after that tastes good can i have another, i did, i had probaly two more beers during the afternoon, with the pizza we shared. She knew that the effects and this made it easier for her to pull away , as we grew so close, it was like a personal magic that was just, ah can not explain. The bottom line is we were talking sitting on the edge of my bed, and i fell asleep for 2-3 hours, woke up and well she had left. I so badly want to let her know that, ther is no way i’d forget what we talked about and i so rember all that took place. Z , thankyou so much for being a well rounded human being, bless you. jr
OP seems to be all over the road here. “you refuse to acknowledge my existence” but at the same time “when you keep tabs on me, it gets back to me”. “I’m not looking to make contact” yet “I just want you to know you were fucked up too and I forgive you” If the N.S. mental health system does have merit as you say, you will cease and desist and get on with your life.
Shit happens and people aren’t perfect. Sounds like this toxic relationship was best ended, so congrats on that. That being said, different people deal with break ups and people they’ve had past relationships differently, and you just have to accept that. All but one of my exes are definitely guys I’d at least give a friendly “hi” to if we ran into each other even though we never kept in contact, but I have one that I just don’t even acknowledge when I run into him despite the fact that he always smiles at me. And it’s been a lot longer than 2 years! 😛
I think your best bet is to pretend she doesn’t exist when you see her, because it sounds like she isn’t able to forgive you or make peace with the relationship. And that happens.
“Just Learning to Trust People Now”, cut your losses. This is a normal pattern. Be glad you found out now. It’s to bad it took you 9 years to find out though.
Step back, re-examine who you are and who you would be had you never met her. Now work your way back to that. Be who you are, be proud of it. Never let anyone tell you who you should be or how you should act or how you should live your life.
Never trade your freedom for affection. Learn to be happy alone, no one can ever take that away from you. Do not trust people. As soon as you trust no one and are happy alone you are invincible.
Fight your animal instincts. There are over 7 billion people in the world. We do not need to reproduce anymore. Know that you are a creature of nature and that many feelings you think you have are merely evolutionary hold overs from bygone eras. We are past that now.
It is really quite easy to ignore other people so long as they do not live in the same house with you. Piece of cake. Ignore them, they do not exist. (all of them) You will be surprised by how good you feel after liberating yourself from such emotional slavery.
The only real drawback is that our social and financial institutions have made it impossible for a single male to purchase a home independently. But you know what? That model of existence is completely unsustainable anyway. Be happy you are not party to it. Then when it all falls down, you’ll be just fine. The rest of them will panic but you will be fine.
Respect yourself. Above all else. The rest falls into place.
Drive her out to North Preston and leave her there.
people can u suggest ways i can find anne?
Uhhh, don one of these:
http://cdn.nhl.com/devils/images/upload/20…
and go pull your pud in the bright red mud of Old Prince Edward Island?
ummm… go to a crowded place and start screaming “ANNE…. ANNE….”
how goes the struggle?
still on the path to happiness?