Every time I read this bitch section, I notice that almost half of these bitches should have been said out loud at the time it happened, instead of writing about them.
I think the world would be a way better place if we started speaking our minds and tried being more honest…instead of beating around the bush, biting our tongues, going home and writing a passive aggressive email to the public in hopes that someone will learn their lesson.
I do think that at first it would be pure chaos. I know how speaking up can sometimes backfire. But you know, sometimes the person who is doing the bitching is sometimes the problem. As a bitchy person, I would be willing to learn a lesson from time to time. I think it would be worth it. Eventually people would get thicker skins and feel more free and in control of their own lives. I think a lot of blood pressure problems would disappear as well as family abuse. Most of the time when people get angry at something random they take it out on those people they love. How about start taking it out on the douche-bag that pissed you off to begin with.
Thanks for listening to my last written bitch.
—Tarce
This article appears in Feb 19-25, 2009.
While I agree with most of what you say, Tarce, I will say that sometimes people are scary and sometimes you never know how they’re going to react.
Case in point: yesterday I was at the lacewood terminal and this toothless old hag was smoking in the shelter. It was windy as fuck and all I wanted to do is wait in the shelter without having to breathe in someone’s second hand cancer stick smoke. I wanted to say something, but the bitch was scary. I wasn’t sure if she’d stab me or choke me so I kept quiet.
Some of us aren’t as tough as we make ourselves out to be (although in most situations I *will* say something…but when you get those bad vibes off of people….)
Very true, Pretty Kitty. You never know what kind of crazies are out there and it’s probably not worth risking your life just to let off some steam. That’s what this place is for.
This bitch has been a long time in coming. I totally agree. It seems whenever somebody is forced to confront another human being some bylaw ensues justified by privacy “principals”. Stereotypes ensue after that (ie. squeegee kids) and the results are spineless fraidy-cats like Pretty Kitty here afraid of the big, bad, toothless, smoking woman. She somehow made a leap from smoker to murderer. (smarten up! she’s a human being who bleeds and feels just like you do!) If anything your fear should become respect so you don’t fly off the handle and solicit a defensive reaction.
Imagine if the world knew the most power they have is that to communicate with others. This is why public education is the first thing to go under a dictatorship. Think about it. If you’re afraid to speak to each other then how worried is your government about protests and such?
I think that PK is correct in that sometimes for some people ****Case in point: yesterday I was at the lacewood terminal and this toothless old hag was smoking in the shelter. It was windy as fuck and all I wanted to do is wait in the shelter without having to breathe in someone’s second hand cancer stick smoke. I wanted to say something, but the bitch was scary.****
Some people are just fucking scary, and some people(Who make themselves out to be tougher than they are just don’t have the gumpshion do say anything.)
And PK you are really pissing me off***touthless old hag*** what she gonna do gum you to death. get fucking serious. You are less intimidated by a 25 yr old man than an old woman…..LOL
I completely agree with Pretty Kitty. Sometimes you are better off erring on the side of caution.
I don’t even understand kilo’s comment in the slightest, so I will disregard it.
I’ve been reading bitches for a long and I’ll never understand kay’s incessant need to go against what all the other regulars say. Ohhhh kay, you’re so controversial. Here’s a cookie.
Kay— what happens if you go on the aggressive route and say something to her. Worst case scenario, she does turn into murderer, and stabs her in the throat. What then? Seriously, I want to know. How do you defend murder? I know it’s extreme, but really, there’s gonna be a time when there’s somebody who will react like that. Sometimes, it’s entirely okay to not bother, as long as it’s something minor, like smoking in a bus shelter. I’d like to see you walk up to a juiced up muscle head and ask him to stop farting on you. Sounds like an interesting experience.
Most people dislike confrontation and being challenged, so I can understand one’s reluctance to respond. And it depends on the circumstances. One might be braver in a Walmart lineup when some blockhead is berating the cashier for no good reason and less so at an empty bus shelter with a woman who looks like she could rip off your head and spit in your neck. I’ve always found it’s better to have witnesses…er, an audience for those kind of confrontations in case it gets physical. It’s pretty much common sense. And there will always be people who would rather spin a story about their outrage rather the confront the big ol’ boogie-man source. It’s safer that way.
Look at that! Even Dr Fever has taken the leap turning smokers into murderers. Why do you people think if you speak to someone they’re going to kill you? Why do you think you need to have some big negative emotional reaction to solicit some kind of change? Why can’t you simply state your desires without assuming you know something about what is happening inside the other person’s head? You have the law on your side, after all! Is it because YOU would turn from smoker to murderer when confronted? Is it because that’s how YOU think? Is it because you’ve SEEN toothless smoking hags murder people over a request to take the smoke outside the bus shelter or maybe it’s because you watch too much TV and have no reasonable communication skills?
TTFN is right. Most people do their best to avoid confrontation but you can also include scary smoker lady in that statistic. Or maybe she meant only “pretty people” avoid confrontation… food for thought.
Presumption is at the root of MOST miscommunication. Stop worrying what others think and simply treat them as you’d be treated. If you were pissing somebody off wouldn’t you want the opportunity to know it so you can correct your own behavior? It has to start somewhere and, if not in you, then who should be the “big man” and do the talking for you? Your government? The local police force? Why not take some responsibility for your own environment? Canadians aren’t supposed to live in a state of fear. We’re supposed to be educated and reasonable. “Because she ‘looks’ scary…”? BOO!
As always kay, you’ve oversimplified everything. Presumption is indeed part of most of most poor communication, however, you need to pick your battles. I don’t think it’s worth my time to get into a heated argument over something simple. Do you understand how many times in a day somebody does something that makes me annoyed? You make the point of correcting behaviour. Okay, that’s great to say, but really, how often do you do it? If you do it every time, I’d hate to have your life because most people would either be arguing with you or would think you’re an arrogant asshole. Oh! But you’ve corrected the behaviour! It’s okay to say stuff like treat those who you would like to be treated, but given that, do you really want to look like an asshole because you’re starting fights all the time? I certainly don’t, I work with the public and my business was built on referrals and reputation. I wouldn’t risk that for anything. Not all of us are living in “fear” as you say. Stop reading conspiracy websites and grow up.
You can’t win in this place. I advise to treat others how you’d be treated (You HATE presumptions behavior. Every single one of you do!) and am told to grow up and stop oversimplifying. Not everybody is adversarial in their delivery. No one HAS to be. People don’t HAVE to become negative, offended and violent when another asks them to be accommodating. Again, it’s all in the delivery!
Then again, maybe it’s just the people of this region. Is every one of you so mean that a stranger can’t ask you for a kindness without fear of reprisal? Without fear of violence? Now I’m starting to see what’s wrong with you people. You’re just bad bad bad communicators living in fear hating each other.
Conspiracy websites? Where did that come from? Conspiracy? No. This is just what happens when the average Canadian pays attention. It’s called a practical education and is NOT the result of “conspiracy websites”.
Maybe you should put that practical education into use and read my point a little bit better. People do, because it’s human nature to be confrontational. I really don’t know what kind of fluffy, marshmallow, cloud-like world you live in? You refuse to see the other side of the coin that people will react negatively in most cases. For example, I asked someone to stop using their cell phone in the middle of a dark movie theatre. What did I get for my trouble, I had a middle finger stuck in my face and told to fuck off because I asked them to turn it off. It wasn’t my delivery, I make a decent living off of asking people to invest their life savings; so I know how to ask really nicely. It was due to the fact that the girl felt it necessary to text through a movie, and she felt she had the right to do so. I’ve experienced this in many places across the country, so it’s not just localized here. Go to Winnipeg and have a homeless guy spit on you because you say you don’t have change, or go to Calgary and have them tell you that Newfies are the stupidest people on the planet because they take all the oil jobs. Overall, the people here are some of the nicest people I’ve ever run into, so your point is moot. Oh and one final parting note: you really need to work on your own delivery. You’re sounding a tad arrogant, which usually leads to people reacting negatively.
I have no qualms asking or saying my two cents. I’m not concerned with offending people.
If they don’t like it, they can go back to where they came from.
I’m going to take the middle road on this issue. There are certainly times when you need to pick your battles, but even more importantly is picking your words. Even making a compromise. The example of the woman smoking in the bus shelter: politely say to the woman “Excuse me, there’s not supposed to be any smoking in the bus shelters, but I see that it’s really nasty out there. Would you mind finishing your cigarette by the door so that the smoke will blow out? I would appreciate it”. If you ask nicely and make it a compromise, 99% of people will be willing to do so. If you tell someone they have to do something, their hackles will go up, they’ll be on the defensive and you just won’t win. Granted, I don’t always follow my own advice and tend to be a little confrontational sometimes, but when possible, I try a polite approach.
I’m with Never Wrong. It just depends on the situation whether I say something or not. I would hate being stabbed to death, I suspect it sucks. Sucks big time.
Besides, I think a site like this is just what people need sometimes, to vent and let off steam without getting into serious confrontations.
Hey everyone. I’m the person who originally posted this comment. I appreciate all your comments. Thanks for the feedback.
I completely agree with a lot of you that mention that it depends on the situation. I don’t think we should always say something to others. We don’t need to get confrontational if it’s unsafe to do so. It’s not worth it. I just mean that sometimes it’s best to say something to others instead of holding in so much anger when it could have possibly been resolved with a quick comment or suggestion. A lot of times, others are clueless as to how they are pissing you off. If I was pissing someone off I would appreciate that they told me, in a NICE way, so I would have the chance to fix my behavior, or to let them know that they are over-reacting. I think that over time people would learn to take negative comments better and that they would lessen as people would start acting more respectful even if it’s just in fear of someone telling them off.
The idea of asking someone if they don’t mind smoking outside of the shelter is a lot less scary to me than thinking about the scenario all day long, replaying it in my mind with the ‘what ifs’ and being sooo full of anger that I have to write a letter to this bitch section. Holding in all that useless anger scares me.
I really wish that honesty wasn’t so foreign to others. I also wish that people would realize that they have the power to fix a lot of these situations and that there is no need to feel so pissed off at the world. Why be so pissed off if you don’t have to be right? I think it feels better to feel happy and free.
Anywho, thanks again for all your comments even if you don’t agree with me.