“SAD” mother

Dear Mr. Judgemental:

Today you shook your head and scoffed at me for being “SAD”. I can only infer that you shouted over that I was “SAD” not once,but twice because you took issue with my daughter busking on the waterfront. Perhaps, Sir, you could have at least paused to read her sign as she played tunes for passers by, or ask why she was busking. I didn’t appreciate the implication that I might be forcing my child into servitude or taking the money she earns as she plays tunes in hopes that those who appreciate her efforts toss a coin in her case. If you had bothered to slow down and look at her sign and or stop and ask, you may have learned that SHE asked to busk this summer as a way to save towards her goal of going on a trip to Korea with her friends, TKD master and fellow take kwon do practitioners where she hopes to test for her black belt at The Kukkiwon ( Worls TKD Headquarters). You may have learned that today was her 14 th time busking out of the whole summer and that the rest of the summer she enjoyed dance camp, violin camp and musical theatre camp in addition to play dates, swimming, and visiting her grandparents in PEI. You may have learned that. We typically busk a little, have snacks, eat a picnic lunch, play and I buy her an ice cream ( from my money, not her earnings) in the 2 hours that we are at a location and that seldom bucks for more than 60-70 minutes. Now…as for what is “SAD”… Sad is that her father took off with a coworker. Sad is that I had to chase after him to get a divorce after he did so for 7 years. Sad is that he spent a fair amount of time hiding and shirking from child support. Sad is that though he has a little contact now, she has only seen him once as an infant and once that she can remember in her whole life. Sad is that he would not, when asked, contribute $20/month towards her music lessons and refused to contribute towards a dance camp because he, quote, ” doesn’t believe in it”. Sad is that when the marriage dissolved, I moved home for support ( physical support as at that time I needed a hip replace,net and could not look after my daughter without help from family). Sad is that in so doing, I left a permanent teaching position in Ontario. Sad is that it has been difficult to get a permanent contract since moving home to Halifax but hey, at least she has her grandparents and uncle and cousins here. All that aside,back to you, and if you’d stopped to ask before making a judgement. You may have learned how proud of my daughter for thinking of a way that she can help while I work with the other parents from our club in fundraising events and initiatives. I am proud of my daughter because she is playing a part in reaching her own goals. I am proud that she is developing a “can do” attitude. I am proud that she is learning poise, perseverance and performance skills. I am proud that she is learning about how to meet and converse with tourists and be a part of the Maritime hospitality we are known for. I am pleased that she helps me roll her coins and comes with me to make every deposit into HER own account that she opened ( with Moses at CIBC). I’m pleased that she has made a lot of people smile with her efforts and that thus far, you have been the only curmudgeon who disparaged me or her by undertaking this fundraising endeavour. I wish what you said today didn’t bother me as much as it does. I need to develop a thicker skin when jerks like you go off about something they know little about. Last but not least( my apologies for such a long post, LTWWBers)I HAVE to say thank you to all those who have been so sweet, kind and supportive of my girl. There are some sweet folks who have come to know us and stop by to say hi, some who have been so kind as to say they miss her on days ( or weeks) when she does not busk, those who applaud her playing and encourage her to continue her music education. Yesterday there was a crowd of 15 + people who stood around her watching, clapping along, dancing and because she loves an audience, that made her day. Mr. Judgmental, take a page out f that playbook….maybe stop, listen and throw a smile towards a kid the next time you scoff at their busking and give their mom a hard time. —Bluebelle

This article appears in Aug 25-31, 2016.