This is more of a cry for help than a bitch; I am sick of feeling like an insignificant nobody. I am friendly, nice looking, funny and genuine. So how come every time I fall in love with someone, I get rejected? I haven’t had a meaningful relationship in my whole adult life. I don’t understand, and I’m almost at my breaking point. Spending every weekend alone is really hard and even my mom is ignoring my existence. Please universe send me someone, not a buddy or a cat, but a lover who loves me the way I am. –Alone
This article appears in May 2-8, 2013.
I’ve said it a million times…love yourself first and you will find someone who shares that feeling. Don’t be conceited or bitchy, just be happy with yourself. Self pitty? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
^^^what she said. You have to learn to love yourself before anyone else will be open to loving you. Get away from the computer, stay off the dating sites, volunteer, take a class, go to the market. Start hanging out with your friends more. When the time is right, it will happen. People sometimes cling on way too fast and it scares the other person away. Take it slow. Don’t talk about marriage….babies….buying houses….that can wait!
nice looking, really? since when was it about looks…people either have a connection or they don’t. forget about it, go eat some ice cream or drink some cognac lol ur life will feel wonderful 🙂 , people can’t make u happy.
Yes, OB. Everyone that is in fantastic relationships, sat around the house alone, whining about their own insecurities and wallowing in their own self pity. Then like magic…there was a knock on the door. Yup, there he/she was…Mr/Mrs right!!!
According to Dan Savage, some people never find anyone and die alone.
No one’s entitled to a significant other.
Also: join match.com or whatever.
Though learning to be alone first is probably your best bet for a fulfilling relationship with someone else.
“Though learning to be alone first is probably your best bet for a fulfilling relationship with someone else.”
Closely followed by investing in a sexy little red dress.
a cat might not be a bad idea op, or maybe a talking bird. some genus of that species live long lives
I congratulate anyone who has found their dream guy or girl on a dating site.Through a bit of experience some good,mostly bad that dating sites are full of bored people who aren’t necessarily lonely or even looking for their dream lover.They are bored and just want to play games with the opposite sex…
My experiences on a particular dating site has also toughened me up.I was much too sensitive.
It also made me realize that I’m a good person,who deserves to be happy ,a good person who makes mistakes.I will meet my dream man one day.
Alone good luck in finding your dream person
Never rely on anyone else to make you happy. Listen to Hoist, he’s a wise man.
Love yourself, live for yourself everyone else can get knotted.
I have two cats, at least one of them will die alone.
Dream man??? Excuse me while I choke on my morning java.
Does said dream man come with the prerequisite white horse, lance and shield? A dream man is exactly that – a fantasy of someone looking for a big strong man to rescue them. Something like this:
http://a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/46/15f68f2c57f745a031a423e2b119e881/l.jpg
Be like the rest of the spineless fuckers and call in a Grief Counsellor!
Whenever there’s a tragedy or some other bump in the road, out come the fucking make shift shrines, teddy bears, candles, weeping fat teenage bastards just to get on camera.
My advice, go to Brothers get a pound of their excellent smoked bacon then trip lightly down Agricola, careful not to get swarmed, hit the liquor store and invest in some liquid therapy. Life is always better after bacon and beer.
Aye, Bazzer, hoofing good wisdom, that.
…and to amplify on what Baz said – When something tragic happens, why do people feel the need to buy a teddy bear and leave it outside exposed to the elements? I get that peoples egos need to feel involved in a public tragedy to which they may only be tangentially connected. But wouldn’t it make more sense to buy a stuffed animal and donate it to a children’s charity, hospital or orphanage in the name of the person whose death you are attempting to honour?
Is it that you always get “rejected” or is it that things just don’t work out?
You’re internalizing all the things that happen and making them into things that *happen TO you*. Don’t look at every date as The Next Mr/Mrs Whatsis. Take the pressure off by letting it be what it is.
And it’s not about how good you look or what your body/etc is. I’m a fucking monster and I do pretty well.
And for frig’s sake- don’t go into every opportunity just waiting to be screwed over or have “games played on you”. People who do that choose to see their dating lives like this and drive people away, platonic and romantic.
AVOID those creeps, and be open to the cool people who come into your life. Often it’s the person you’re not expecting who you connect with.
But lose the “why will noone love me” attitude. It will drive away good partners.
w the p
I’m going to donate bacon from now on.
Donations may be made to http://www.ivanhasasadbutsmokedcuredmeatsgivehimt….
Tax receipts provided upon request.
YOU MUST CULTIVATE PHILOSOPHY
“I am friendly, nice looking, funny and genuine. So how come every time I fall in love with someone, I get rejected?” Alone
Study the slippage contained in those two sentences As a matter of simple logic, they cannot both be true. Clearly, there is a mismatch between your self-image on the one hand and the view others have of you on the other.
The solution is simple. You cannot change the way others think of you. To attempt to do so is to embrace statues, it is to chase shadows. The only thing you can change is the way you think of yourself. How is this to be done? It is to be done by addressing the contents of your mind. It is to be done by cultivating reflection. It is to be done by cultivating philosophy.
As Socrates once said, “Know thyself.”
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Cheerio!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXId5jOTxdg
bacon, cheese and coca cola.
I spoke of my “dream man” strictly in a romantic sense.
Falling in love with someone is way more complicated than my dream man riding in on his white horse and falling in love at first sight.
Not having a serious relationship is way better than having one your whole adult life (to that point) and it ending abruptly and callously.
That whole ’tis better to have loved and lost… is all bullshit.
You’re free… do what (or whom) ever you want.
Get a hobby you can share with people.
Join a rec league or running club or bingo hall or chess club or SOMETHING.
OR
at the very least learn to be content to live and die alone.
FYI. Cats help that progression much more quickly.
Last time someone complained that there wasn’t a big enough gay community here in NS I commented that.. if you are actively looking for a partner (and it doesn’t matter if your gay pr stright) I would suggest joining groups or activities that intrest you and you will have a better chance at meeting someone who shares your intrests and thus a conection might come out of it..
hm. Needy perhaps?
Seriously if you’ve never had a meaningful relationship your entire adult life, then IT’S YOU. No. Shut up. It’s you.
There is something about you that turns people way way off. You seem negative, why-meish and needy. So that might be it but i don’t know you so i can’t say for sure.
What eats_crayons said.
Call 211 and get referred to a psychologist.
“That whole ’tis better to have loved and lost… is all bullshit.”
I have never agreed with you more, Zed.
While I’m 110% over all my past relationships, I look back at the unnecessary grief I went through in each of them and realize it was just bullshit. Fuck sakes, I could’ve had a V8 instead of dealing with that shit. Sure, the good times were awesome, but that just makes it all that much harder when things go sour — thinking about those great times. And I don’t think anyone can really get over someone until they stop being attracted to that person, which can takes years (if it ever does happen). I’m over my past relationships because I’m no longer attracted to the guys I’ve been with. None of them. Luckily, I’d rather date a goat than the guys I’ve dated. It’s helped that my tastes have changed and I’ve become more confident in myself. I’ve dated people because of the idea of being in a relationship was what I was in love with. The more time you spend alone, the more you realize what you want and don’t want. I’m ok with being alone, so I’m not going to date someone for the sake of dating someone. It took a while to get to this point, but I’m here and I’d rather be single than deal with the alternative of being with someone who isn’t a good fit.
Wheelie’s right. If you choose to date, you should just take it for what it is — a date. MOST dates don’t end up with relationships and if they do, most don’t happen overnight. And, sometimes you might go out on a date with someone you’re really into and you may find the experience awkward. I think a lot of us are in love with the idea of being in love rather than the reality or the reality of the person they’re with and tend to be a bit too eager to attach ourselves to them (especially if you really like someone and end up sleeping with them way too early in the game).
And, OB, maybe if you’ve been rejected by every person you’ve been interested in… maybe you’re shooting too high? I’m not trying to be mean here, but a 4 is not going to attract a 10 (and there’s more to that number than just looks).
Also, Ivan, does this little red dress have heart cut outs in the ass? *burnsinhell*
http://twilight.ponychan.net/chan/files/sr…
Aw fuck, I’m going to burn in hell, but I gotta do this:
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/59009/heart…
^^^ that should rangle in ANY man.
I have to continue working on myself.I have to practice getting better at recognizing what others do that trigger memories of past traumas.Stop to think before I become defensive, run my mouth off and scare away someone who may really care for me and I for them…They say knowing is half the battle…I will win the war and I will be happy.
I honestly do know I’m the problem. 🙂 🙂
I was thinking that too PK.
OP. I had this problem. My standards were way too high for my reality. I wanted a guy who was totally perfect 100% of the time and would find petty reasons to end good relationships. Ever watch seinfeld? The asinine reasons those 4 found to end relationships (She had man hands… he’s a communist… I’d rather date Marissa Tomei…) was a lot like me.
The reality is that the perfect man doesn’t exist and if he does, he’s after the perfect woman.
Honeychild. We are NOT the perfect women. No, shut up everybody.. we’re just not. We are riddled with flaws. So Mr. Perfect is not going to swoop in on a white horse and climb up our hair. He’s gonna be riddled with flaws too. That’s our playing field. Dorky, flawed guys who can’t do any better.
The good news is that people with flaws are the most interesting kind if you just give them a chance to show you how adorable all their fuckups can be. Sure, some flaws are unacceptable. Abusers, serial killers, rapists, cheaters carrying every STD going. Laywers. Those are unacceptable. But there are lots of imperfect guys that can fall in love with us imperfect girls.
But stop looking for your Jack Sheppard because he’s not looking for you if he even exists.
Guys? Same thing.
Some good and bad advice on here OP. Don’t go eat and drink your sorrows away. In my opinion, your probem lies within the first couple lines of your bitch: “So how come every time I fall in love with someone, I get rejected?”
Answer: because you’re falling in love too fast. Make people earn your love! Otherwise it doesn’t feel worthwhile or valuable. Guys are creatures of accomplishment/competition. We want to feel like we won you, not like you settled for us because you’re lonely, or worse, desparate. Either that or WE’RE SETTLING FOR YOU BECAUSE WE CAN’T DO BETTER. Trust me, you don’t want that. Even if I met a really dreamy girl who fit my list of wants/needs perfectly, if I feel like she’s looking at me and thinking what to name our kids or where we should buy our house within a few weeks of meeting her, I’m gone! Even if I COULD see myself in a long term relationship with her, that’s not the point, she basically has taken away a lot of the fun of winning a girl’s heart, and given the impression that she’ll fall in love with pretty much any old body.
Trust me I had and still do to a certain extent have this problem, you have to be careful not to let yourself invest too much too early. It tends to scare people off and it sets you up for heatbreak.
Also, I can only speak personally but I like a girl who has her stuff together, a girl who takes care of herself first and then worries about other people. Someone who doesn’t NEED a man. That might sound ass backwards to some people but trust me, the harder you chase the faster they run, especially if they are LTR material.
So basically, take care of yourself, maybe start working out if you don’t already, set some goals for youself and just work on being as awesome as you can be and people will take notice. I promise.