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  1. 1. Drink more water.2. Eat more fibre (veggies, fruit, grains) and a bit less meat and/or processed food.3. Don’t push to poop. Relax, be patient, and let your body figure things out.4. Name your grapes. Make peace with them.5. Takes warm baths.6. Get a sense of humour about getting older.

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  4. Hemorrhoids, not steroids. But I suppose steroids could cause the “ass grapes” as well. Instead of ‘roids, maybe he should have written ‘rrhoids. He uses “ass grapes” because it describes what hemorrhoids sometimes look like, inflammed veiny bubbles surrounding the rectum.

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  5. Sick. Get ’em removed. The hospital can cauterize them. Or get some prep-h and stop the anal for awhile.

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