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Hey, you know what makes Winter Solstice the longest night of the year? It’s not the alignment of the planets, but the tiresome bongo dirges you’re banging out around your artisanal fire pit. I’m not sure whose parents bought you the eco-manse in the working class part of town, but I bet they’d be ashamed that you’re polluting the neighbourhood at 2am on a Monday morning with your shitty “music.” Please stop it and please move to an intentional community on the Eastern Shore instead of trying to live in reality with the rest of us. —I’m tired. Fuck you.

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12 Comments

  1. Omfg thank you! I live in this area and have to physically restrain myself from screaming “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!” out my window. Do it all you want up until like 10pm but when it’s 2am on a school or work night that’s just plain selfish and rude.

  2. If they’re partying around the fire pit at 2 am then they probably sleep in until noon. Maybe when you are heading for work that morning at around, say 7 a.m. because you are an early riser, you should knock on their door. Ask them politely if they can knock it off before 10 on week nights because, just like them, you don’t like having your sleep disrupted.

  3. But Hugo, cold water doesn’t work up as much of a lather. It’s the soap that hippies can’t stand; not the H2O.

  4. Throw in some steel wool and those high pressure, anti-piracy hoses and you might penetrate that thick crust of concert mud, patchouli ,self-righteousness and caked on spunk.

  5. hmmm, I got some steel wool as a gift other day. were they trying to tell me something? (raises arm, sniffs deeply)

  6. Shoulda come and had a good time with us! Half the lot of us had to work the next morning too… hehehe
    sincerely – Robie Street ‘hippies’

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