I like art. But here’s the bad news: I’m not stopping. I have no idea what kind of “art” you’re peddling or what your price range might be and I don’t want to be embarrassed or cause embarrassment if I don’t like it or can’t afford it.

I’m not going to hit the breaks, turn the car around, stop and walk into your house or garage, look at your stuff and feel obliged, since you’re standing right there, to buy something. Who does that? Maybe the odd extreme extrovert or somebody imagining they’ll find some treasure.

There are 3 possible explanations for this situation that I can see.

1. You’re some six figure yuppy selling tole painted wooden racks with hearts cut in to them so you can write house expenses off on your taxes. You can fuck off.

2. You have a digital camera, took some nice pictures (like everybody else who has a digital camera – which is everybody) and now fancy yourself a photographer. Get yourself a reality check.

3. You’re a decent artist trying to make a living but you’re so right brained that you can’t figure out a better way to sell. Figure out a better way to sell.

Finally, if you’re producing folk art and you’re not an off season fisherman or a hillbilly (and I mean that quite affectionately) , you are just talent-free douche trying to rip off tourists. You too can fuck off. —Sunday Driver

Join the Conversation

74 Comments

  1. That it is Cranky. OP, you made my whole week with that. I don’t suppose you’d be interested in running for mayor?

  2. Um, what exactly did this person do to the OP to warrant this bitch besides living on the road OP was driving on and having the gall to put up a gallery sign to sell something they made.

    Fuck off OP, you’re a huge douche. No one gives a shit about what you think about someone you apparently never met or your opinion of their art you apparently never saw.

    What a lame bitch.

  3. you’ll never know o.p., like quite a few on the antiques roadshow. the case of guy paying 10 bucks for a picture, to find it worth thousands. yep, you just never know. i love sales of these type, gives me a chance to meet otherwise non- people.

  4. Yeah, I’ve ignored that movie about the Pollock painting during many visits to video difference…

  5. OP…lol…that was funny. Those NSCAD students will do anything to try and sell shit.

  6. Oh good! More data for the True Identity of Snoop spreadsheet! Hobbies: Tole Painting.

  7. I was referring to a past post by snoop in which s/he indicated that s/he had already revealed too much about him/herself to “you people”. They call it sarcasm.

  8. I don’t get this bitch, OP was irritated by a roadside art gallery for no other reason than it was a roadside art gallery. Write your HRM councillor maybe you can have them banned.

  9. Sorry that wasn’t directd at you. It was at the op and how lame this whole affair is.

  10. i found it was refreshing, mainly ’cause it wasn’t about cars vs bikes or smoking. hey, we haven’t had a tipping bitch in a while

  11. I got a lovely painting of 2 crows at a church hall art show this weekend! Great venue! I don’t think I c/would stop at a house.

  12. my ma is my resident artist, i have some of her work at the shoppe and t’home. much crow art in our family…rawk

  13. Nothing scary about a Juggalo with a 2 X 4 shoved up his Khyber Pass. Appropriate & hilarious – Yes. But not scary. The corbie seemed quite chuffed, as well.

  14. Gae oot o’ ma heid, Snoob. I was just thinking about that poem. The great Scottish folk duo, the Corries, do a version set to music.
    And yes, the Spaniards do urgently need some revised thinking on the subject of cruelty to animals. Preferably delivered in the form of a dozen buckets of condensed sunrise dropped from a B-2 bomber.
    Disclaimer: I am not seriously advocating a nuclear strike on the Iberian peninsula in order to rid the world of sexual deviates who compensate for their own inadequacies by playing ritualized games of stoop-tag with agitated, terrifed cattle.

  15. I have to laugh at some of the clips from the T.V. show they had in the 70’s. Those costumes – matching puffy shirts and leather jerkins – the poor lads deserved better than to wear the dregs of some BBC wardrobe designer’s bondage fantasies. Och aye. >: (

  16. Ha ha! Twer a wee bit dated! I feel like making macrame jewelry on an orange shag carpet now.

  17. …as the subtle frangrance of Hai Karate wafts gently through the air. Another glass of Mateus anyone?

  18. Ha ha!!! I didn’t know greyhounds were that goofy!

    I also didn’t know etsy. Thanks!

    It feels like Friday.

  19. Oh yeah – Charlie – who could forget that.

    As you once said Painey – No other breed can manage to look quite so sad AND goofy at the same time.
    Roooooooooooooooooo.

  20. Tourist Rubes aren’t cruising Etsy on their laptops, they’re cruising in the Streamliners!

  21. HAhaha.

    What was it about that comment that got Snubiz so riled up they not only remember it months after but re-post it?

    You are clearly obsessed with me, and your spreadsheet is fruitless.

    Flattered as always

  22. I don’t know if that was for my benefit Donk but assuming it was, I gather “etsy” is art made from human clippings.

  23. BUT WHAT’S ART?

    “Art, n. – skill, esp. human skill as opposed to nature; skill applied to imitation & design as in painting.” (The Concise Oxford Dictionary)

    Before dropping off to sleep last night I was thinking about “Sunday Driver” saying that she(?) likes art but wasn’t stopping to buy any on the “Roadside Gallery.” Since she says that she likes art she must know what it is but, unfortunately, she doesn’t say. Or maybe she doesn’t know what it is after all but, as the expression goes, she doesn’t know much about art but knows what she likes. But does THIS make sense? How can one know what one likes without knowledge of the object itself? Does this, in its turn, mean that there is sharp division between knowledge of art and art itself? Do they exist in two, mutually incomprehensible solitudes? Of course, this raises the prior question which must be answered before we can proceed. That question, of course, is “What is art?”

    I think the dictionary definition gives us a start, but only a start. Yes, art obviously relates to a human skill as opposed to nature. For example, a beautiful sunset is not art since it is simply a product of nature. However, when an artist paints that same sunset, it becomes art. But the division is not just between nature and art. It is also between human skill and technological products. Think of Andy Warhol’s painting of the Campbell soup can. The can itself is not art but it, or at least Warhol’s painting of it, became art. So what did Warhol’s painting add to the soup can? What made it art?

    I think – the thought as with so much else came to me last night* – is that Warhol’s soup can was “framed,” not in the literal sense of framing but in, well, the “artistic” sense. Warhol wasn’t just trying to accurately portray the soup can and so the dictionary definition seems lacking. If he were just trying to do that he could have taken a photo of it. I think Warhol elevated the soup can out of the realm of everyday object and bestowed thereby a significance it previously lacked. The soup can became iconic, a symbol of our culture. Perhaps it was a negative metaphor for the banality of that culture, its creative exhaustion.

    In addition to difficulties relating to representational art as with the soup can, there is the added difficulty of understanding non-representational art. Such art is not concerned with sunsets and soup cans but with the rendering of the artist’s interior impressions of sunsets or soup cans. Take the recent theft of Picasso’s “Face of a Woman” which, as with Picasso generally, only vaguely resembled its object. Its estimated worth was %50 million, and they still haven’t recovered it. Why is it worth $50 million? Is it just becuse of Picasso’s reputation, or is there some intrinsic quality which makes it so valuable? If so, just what was that intrinsic quality?

    The mention of Picasso, of course, raises the question of distinguishing “simple art” from “good art” and both from “great art.” How is this done? On what basis? Is it explicable in coherent terms? (A few years ago The National Art Gallery in Ottawa recently bought a canvas featuring three red vertical lines on a white background for which, if memory serves, it paid $1.4 million. However, they never explained why it was worth so much. The artist was not famous, or at least not to me. So why so much?)

    Finally, maybe Sunday Driver was too fast in basing her judgement of the quality of the art displayed on the artist himself – a yuppie, a common digital camera buff, a “decent artist” with poor left-right brain balance, or a “talent-free douche trying to rip off tourists.” Are these people incapable, in princile, of producing good (great) art? Could she explain just how she was to making that determination? Could she do so in a coherent fashion?

    I hope I get a better night’s sleep tonight.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

    * In conformity with the King’s command, an asterix (*) indicates that I am making fun of myself. Two asterixes (**) indicate that I am making fun of someone else, while three asterixes (***) indicate that I am making fun of myself while making fun of someone else.

  24. morning monsieur, i remember the vertical line painting. try to get some sleep

  25. BUT WHAT’S ART? (II): LOOKING AT “VOICE OF FIRE”

    Cranky (July 9, 10:20AM) kindly supplied a visual of “Voice of Fire” by one Barnett Newman, painted for Expo 67 and purchased by the National Gallery of Canada in 1988 for $1.8 million. It consists of three equally broad strips of blue and red paint 18 feet long. But what, if anything, does it mean? Since non-representational art is intended to depict not the object itself but rather the interior impressions of the artist, what did Barnett have in mind?

    Not only is there no meaningful connection between the painting and its name, “Voice of Fire,” the name itself is meaningless. Since a name derives its meaning from its denotative referent, the object it names, and since fire doesn’t have a voice, then what meaning can “Voice of Fire” possibly have? So that’s a dead-end. Meaning, in its usual denotative sense, doesn’t apply to “Voice of Fire”. So where do we go from here?

    Since Barnett painted “Voice of Fire” on purpose – it wasn’t simply a random act – it must have a point, an end-in-view of some sort. If we can discover Barnett’s purpose then perhaps we can discover “Voice of Fire’s” meaning. So, there are two questions: How can we discover Barnett’s purpose and, in the light of that purpose, discover the meaning of “Voice of Fire?”

    Ordinarily one can discover another’s purpose by observing and analyzing his actions but, in the case of Barnett’s painting, this is precisely what we cannot do because his actions i.e., the painting “Voice of Fire,” remain inscrutable. But if we can’t analyze Barnett’s actions then, as a consequence, we can’t discover the meaning of those actions, i.e., “The Voice of Fire.” So where do we go from here?

    Here we have to become imaginative ourselves. Rather than simply observing and analyzing Barnett’s actions, we have to hypothesize about them. Fortunately, my penetrating analytical powers have given rise to one such hypothesis.* Picture yourself standing in the National Gallery of Canada in front of “Voice of Fire.” You are baffled. You cannot understand it. You are disturbed. For you it is meaningless and meaninglessness gives rise to inner disturbance, to anxiety, to psychological upset. You are rocked back on your philosophical heels. You begin to question the nature of meaning itself. What is the meaning of meaning? You have ascended, unawares, to “second-order” thinking, that of reflexive rationality.

    In my view, this was Barnett’s purpose all along. He wanted to disturb, to uproot your taken-for-granted cognitive catagories. And, you have to admit it, Barnett has succeeded.

    Well, that’s my take on “Voice of Fire.” It was fun.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

    * Indicates making fun of myself.

  26. BUT WHAT’S ART? (III); LOOKING AT “VOICE OF FIRE”(II): AN ALTERNATIVE HYPOTHESIS

    A second possible hypothesis regarding “Voice of Fire” has emerged which some might find more compelling than the initial one – call it the “Intellectual/Philosophical Hypothesis” – in which Barnett Newman attempted to unsettle our cognitive categories by confronting us with a meaningless object. The second one might be called “Astronaut Hypothesis.”

    The “Astronaut Hypothesis” is based upon the setting in which “Voice of Fire” first appeared, i.e., the American Pavillion at Expo 67 in Montreal. In addition to “Voice of Fire” there were red and white parachutes to be deployed by the space module when touching down on water. Alan Shepard had recently (1961) been the first American astronaut to go into sublunar space and the space-race with Russia to the moon was on, eventually to be won by the US on July 20, 1969 with Neil Armstrong.

    But back to “Voice of Fire.” The pattern shows three strips, a central red one bordered by two blue ones. With he “Astronaut Hypothesis,” the central strip portrays the fiery trail of the booster rockets on lift-off, bordered by the deep blue of space on either side depicted by the blue strips. The “Voice,” of course, would be the roar of the rockets.

    So we have two hypotheses, the “Intellectual/Philosophical Hypothesis” and the “Astronaut Hypothesis.” But which one is right? This will have to be confirmed on site. On Wednesday, July 20, I will be leading a select group of Bitchers and Commenters to view “The Voice of Fire” at its present location in the National Gallery of Canada. We will meet at 10:00AM in front of the painting itself. Space is limited.

    To register, contact garymore@hotmail.ca

    See you there!

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  27. RSVPs

    : Hugo Phurst (July 11, 10:53AM) – “Good art vs bad art, it’s all in the eye of the beholder.”

    But is this true? The view, of course, is the usual one of total relativism, but total relativism is incoherent in art as elsewhere since it levels all conflicting assertions, reasoned or otherwise, to the status of opinions between which there is nothing to choose. If effect, it amounts to the destruction of thought.

    In the case of art the claim reduces to the contradictory assertion that all art (good or bad) is in the eye of the beholder is true. (When one asserts something one MEANS that it is true.) But total relativism embodies as its central principle – if one can speak of “principles” in the case of total relativism – the view that there can be no such truth since truth itself must also be in the eye of the beholder. This is called a “performative contradiction.”

    Will Hugo Phurst be able to extricate himself from clutches of the performative contradiction?
    Stay tuned.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  28. “performative contradiction” – how so?

    What if there were no people left in existence, is it still art? ;P

  29. RSVPs

    : Hugo Phurst (July 11, 9:41PM) –

    “Performative contradiction – how so?”

    Read my second paragraph over again, slowly. If your difficulties still persist, try to explain them coherently to me. Take your time.

    “What if there were no people left in existence, is it still art?”

    The difficulty here is that your relativism – all art (good or bad) is in the eye of the beholder – has driven you into another incoherence, i.e, the failure to distinguish art from those who behold it. No “beholders” – no art. But why not? Art is still art even if it does not happen to be observed at a particular time. (You sound like you might be going down Bishop Berleley’s road of “philosophical idealism” i.e., a tree falling in the forest makes no sound if there is no one around to hear it. But we’ve discussed that one before.)

    On the other hand, if there were no people left in existence, there would be no artists either. Then there WOULD be no art! In any case, the question is incoherent.

    Worst of all, if there were no people left in existence, would there still be “Bitch?” My God, think of it!

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  30. “Worst of all, if there were no people left in existence, would there still be “Bitch?” My God, think of it!”

    Good point. MM got y’all, y’all!

  31. RSVPs

    :Donairious (July 12, 10:38AM) – “Good point, MM got y’all, y’all.”

    Thank you Donairious, that is, if I got y’all, y’all.

    My question is, what if there were no people left in existence, would I still be a Montréal Canadiens fan?

    :Hugo Phurst (11:38AM) – “What ‘second paragraph'”?

    The second paragraph follows after the first paragraph. It begins with the words, “In the case of art…” and ends with the words, “This is called a ‘performative contradiction.'”

    If you look carefully I’m sure you can find it. Then, after you have found it, you can follow my advice given in the last paragraph which reads, “If your difficulties still persist, try to explain them coherently to me. Take your time.”

    Good luck.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *