Rock’n’Roll is long dead. Sadly. A spasm here and there, a death-bed twitch. Yessir, it’s a bitch. —Three Chord Wonder

This article appears in Sep 22-28, 2011.

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55 Comments

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  2. No it isn’t, you just have to accept that other types of music have evolved as well. You don’t have to like other kinds of music, but they haven’t killed of Rock n Roll.

    Rock will live forever.

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  13. I second Orgasmatron’s post. If you just take what’s handed to you you won’t get the best out of life, that especially applies to art. You have to dig for the good stuff because the mainstream stuff usually appeals to the lowest common denominator.

    I love hip hop but I wouldn’t waste my time listening to or checking for the vast majority of what is in the mainstream.. it’s aimed at kids. Same goes for most mainstream radio music. I don’t even consider myself an underground fan..

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  15. I just wish Billy Joel’s teen suicide attempt had been successful. Go listen to some Black Keys, fool.

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  17. You are just saying that because Chaka Khan was nominated to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, aren’t you?

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  18. Alright guys, I’ve sent out FB msgs/emails to those whom I have contacts for re: next bitcher’s summit.

    If I don’t have your contact and you’d like to join us, please send me an email at: prettykittylady@gmail.com and I’ll give you the details (I’m looking at YOU, Survivor!).

    Mel — you can get details via ‘gasmatron. 🙂

    And given the awesomeness (that I’ve heard) of SOBova joining us last time, I’m going to go out on a limb and extend the invitation to significant others.

    I’ll probably bring Oscar. He’s a fun date!

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  21. o.p., are you jst discovering that now? fuck sakes, it’s been dead since about 82, when we had all that disco shit come on the scene. and music has gotten considerably worse since. this is my opinion, don’t like, then go fuck off.

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  23. OP, define Rock n Roll in a precise enough manner that you can claim that it is dead.

    Otherwise, you are just talking out your arse.

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  24. Xeno: Eric B. and Rakim were also recently nominated.

    Comparing rock to rap is like comparing republicans to democrats. They’ve both sold out a long time ago, to the same people/corporations.

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  27. lol FS, I think it’s actually:

    puddleofnicklecreedtheoryofamuddback

    The problem is creativity doesn’t sell as many records as dick riding the latest trend. We have only ourselves and our short attention spans to blame.

    That’s why Lil Wayne just sold a million records in a week. (That’s damn near impossible these days) His songs are about nothing. Every line is about something different (a whole lot of nothing, really). Basically just punchline after punchline. It’s very abstract. You only need a 5, MAYBE 10 second attention span to enjoy it.

    Other artists may require a paragraph, verse or maybe a whole song to relay their message, and people just don’t have the patience to sit still, keep their mouth shut and their ears open long enough to maybe “get it”.

    I feel like real music is slowly but surely starting to make a comeback. By real music I mean music that is not contrived and made for the specific purpose of making money, but rather expressing oneself.

    People are really starting to get sick of this fantasy, plastic, microwave music. Nobody respects it anymore, it’s a laughing stock. Pretty soon major record labels will be a thing of the past and the whole game will switch up. Looking forward to it.

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  29. Gwar Rules though. They are they only costumed freaks worth a damn. Slipknot is to rock as The Insane Clown Posse is to rap.

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  31. Tommyjules: True enough. A kid came up to me in the supermarket yesterday, asking me to listen to his music and maybe buy a CD. He is also on Itunes, so maybe it is also a way for new artists to get recognised…?

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  32. ——-
    Fuck slipknot. That’s all.
    ——-

    Beg to differ. I love them. I’m a jazz musician, among other things. As a former punker they appeal to my still-pissed inners. And as musicians, they are actually pretty good. I find them tight as a band, and I love the singer.
    But whatevs. They’re no Bel Biv Devoe.

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  37. ——-
    I find their schtick irritating
    ——-

    I don’t complain when you blast Nickleback and Theory Of A Deanman from your Ford Festiva, so let’s just cut each other a bit of slack here, and allow for variation in personal taste, okey dokey?

    Loves ya, Donk!

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  38. How could you have pegged me for such a low class slut! I’m offended WP! *sarcasm*

    … although I am impressed that you know exactly what to say in order to make me retch. Lolz.

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  40. I’m not really a huge fan of their music, but I respect their schtick. It’s basically what Alice Cooper and Kiss started years ago, but taken to a different level.

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  41. A little “American Hot Wax” anybody?

    Rock ‘n roll is here to stay,
    it will never die
    It was meant to be that way,
    though I don’t know why
    I don’t care what people say,
    rock ‘n roll is here to stay

    (We don’t care what people say, rock ‘n roll is here to stay)

    Rock ‘n roll will always be
    our ticket to the end
    It will go down in history,
    just you wait, my friend
    Rock ‘n roll will always be,
    it’ll go down in history

    (Rock ‘n roll will always be, it’ll go down in history)

    Rock ‘n roll will always be
    our ticket to the end
    It will go down in history,
    just you wait, my friend
    Rock ‘n roll will always be,
    it’ll go down in history
    If you don’t like rock ‘n roll,
    think what you’ve been missin’
    But if you like to bop and stroll,
    come on down and listen
    Let’s all start to have a ball,
    everybody rock ‘n roll

    Ah, oh baby, ah, oh baby, ah, oh baby, ah, oh baby, rock! – Danny and the Juniors

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  47. Slipknot scares me.

    The masks remind me of that dude who killed people and made masks and lampshades outta their skin.

    *shudder*

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  50. I don’t like Slipknot. You don’t like Britney.

    It’s all cool. The music is not the issue. Contrary to popular belief my musical scope does’t end at Britney …

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  52. Senator Ivan McCarthy: Mr. Bean, I’d like to remind you that you are still under oath. Are you now or have you ever been a hipster douchebag:

    Sean Bean: Oh fook off you silly twat.

    Sen. Ivan: Thank you sir, you may go.

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  55. “If it were an emo, they’d have slit their wrists by now.”

    The faggot subculture needs more emo.

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