Everyone trying to rush home and especially the ancient man with veteran plates in the blue hatchback – this is not England. Get on your own side. In the case of Mr. Veteran, if you’re struggling to turn the wheel on something with power steering, maybe you shouldn’t be on the goddamned road at ALL.
Woman with the yappy rat dog – next time you let it run into the road I’m running over the damn thing. You scared the shit out of me and that poor woman with the Lab who your dog was attacking. Teaching you to leash your pets will be worth scrubbing the fried guts off my engine.
Teenagers driving Mommy’s SUV home for lunch – at least buy me a drink and a saddle if you’re going to ride my ass. I might as well be comfortable while you try and fuck me up to 70kph.
Sonofabitch in the red car with tinted windows – that octagonal thing the same colour as your car is not a suggestion. Thanks for being my first left-turn fuckstick. If you can’t add not killing me to your busy schedule, at least do it for the school kids who cross the street there. While I am invisible, surely the tiny humans that swarm the area like bipedal ants will clearly get your attention when you blow around that corner. —Swampy
This article appears in Jun 16-22, 2011.
It’s Friday afternoon, relax a little bit.
I agree OP, although why don’t you just leave the office early on nice days and enjoy an easy drive home. Leave those fucking morons with their 9-5pm rush hour traffic bullshit. As for theat rat dog thing……floor it.
This was everyone leaving early, seb, everyone going nuts because zomg sunny Friday! Next time I’m heading home as soon as the clock hits eleven. All of this crap happened between 2 and 3 in a subdivision. I don’t even want to think about what anyone commuting ran into.
trood- I would like the idiots in the cars to relax(and obey traffic laws, considering Mr Veteran almost hit my friend head on and Mr Red nearly did it for me), and thereby leave my mood intact. It’s win-win!