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Thieves are the lowest of the low, aren’t they?
To my thief: you grabbed the wrong bag. The one you left behind contained way more valuable stuff. Sucker!
Hope you enjoy the snake and reptile bites in the afterlife you scum sucking maggot. —The Reluctant Minimalist
This article appears in Aug 22-28, 2013.
14 Comments
Hopefully it’s a cobra or black mamba…..pain won’t last too long…neither will breathing
Just to be clear on this. Was it a snake or snake food that you left behind in the bag?
Maybe a pit viper Klyde. Is that what they mean by the Scales of Justice?
Hopefully the snake’s okay.
Perhaps this bitch is in reference to the Dante punishment for thieves which is eternal pursuit and biting by snakes and lizards. The “after life” reference appears to point things in that direction of thought.
“Scales of Justice” *snort*
I too, am confused OP. Were there reptiles in the purloined satchel, or are you making a poetic reference to the hot place where the worm dieth not?
wyrme here….
scales of justice indeed, we are not blind, we bind
Wouldn’t matter what kind if reptilian snake…I have my stick ready…and crows will have good chewing…
I see Ocean Chick, went right over Reg’s head. I thought snake and lizard bites meant snake and lizard snacks like “cricket on a cracker”.
So you’re saying the snake’s okay and in fact part of some reptilian karma.
“THE RELUCTANT MINIMALIST”?
“Hope you enjoy the snake and reptile bites in the afterlife you scum sucking (sic) maggot.” The Reluctant Minimalist
Two points: (1) What, if any, is the relationship between the content of this bitch and the author’s pseudonym? and (2) What is to be understood by the concept of a “Reluctant Minimalist” itself?
(1) While the pseudonym “Reluctant Minimalist” is excellent, one does seek some conceptual connection with it and the hope that the scum-sucking maggot will “enjoy” the snake and reptile bites in the afterlife. While the conceptual connection is clearly not one of substance – not one to be taken literally unless, of course, the bitcher is religiously ultra-orthodox – does it reside rather at the metaphorical level and, if so, whatever can it be?
(2) How is the concept of a “Reluctant Minimalist” itself to be conceived? One supposes that a minimalist habitually reduces the content of any communication to bare-bones simplicity but has this goal been achieved? It would seem not. Further, what is the criterion of a minimalist communication? Is it conceptual or is it empirical? If the former, can the “Reluctant Minimalist” deconstruct it? If the latter, can she demonstrate what it is? And just why is the “Reluctant Minimalist” reluctant? Ordinarily one supposes a minimalist to be rational without emotion but here we see the conjoining of the two concepts. In any case, the phrasing of “Reptilian Revenge” to the effect that the bitcher hopes that the thief – the “maggot” – will be bitten by snakes and reptiles suggests anything but reluctance.
Will you undertake to resolve these intellectual cramps?
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Bottom line is there is no honor in thievery…only a cowards way of torturing the person they stole from…and to accumulate ill gotten booty…if in fact if there was a reptile in knapsack.and not a metaphor..if person got bit..then justice was served..
Without context, it’s sort of hard to say what the hell is going on here. So i’m going to ask the obvious question… Is it possible the “thief” took the wrong bag… by accident?
And if so, and you didn’t return his “way more valuable stuff” to him and try to sort it out……… That makes YOU the thief.
Also I find it offensive that you would refer to yourself as a minimalist after trying (and failing but REALLY trying) to turn a Black Sabbath album into a bitch.
What kind of a their leaves a bag behind? Somone took the time to bag it up for you, the least you can do is take all of it!!!! See, this is likely why you have to steal, no attention to detail.
Sadly, there is NO afterlife!
I am curious if anyone else besides TheGreatBatshit is wondering about the following:
How does a thief accidentally steal the wrong bag?
How can the theft victim become the thief for not making sure the thief grabbed the more valuable bag?
What the high hounds of hell does any of this have to do with Black Sabbath?