Whenever I need a good 4×4 block of lumber at the local building supplies store, your freckle face seems to greet me first. Whenever I notice your juicy bottom, I seem to be developing more wood than what I want to buy. Your bulging blue eyes make up for you dumb-founded stare that you seem to give when you have no clue what to do or say just attracts me to you more. Your long legs seem to stare at me back, but they’re covered by tacky khakis. I anticipate building this deck in the fall so I can see you almost everyday. I’ve decided to send in a resume tomorrow, so I might be seeing you more than you’d like. I hope my fiance doesn’t find out about this. —Woody
This article appears in Sep 1-7, 2011.
Creeeeepyyyyyyyyyy…
For those who ever wondered what erotica written by Red Green would be like….
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4147/495074…
Funny, I thought there’d be more duct tape involved.
And let the off coloured, hardware referrenced sexual innuendos ensue! Here. Let me start that for you…nailed, screwed, hammered, drilled, etc etc etc ad nauseam
You’re a real class act, OB.
Eeeeewwwww!!! :S
wring it out baby… I’ll wait.
http://www.beyerslumber.com/images/Lumberl…
Good that you have a fiance, because she’s taken. Not the jealous type, but you might be crossing the line in a place or two, jussayin.
Gross. I used to work in a building supply store and I was asked out then more than I ever have been in my life..
Maybe it’s all of the testosterone in the air (?) maybe those disgusting khakis they made us wear made us more approachable to men (?)
Either way, it was always disgusting to be hit on by customers..
OB, She’s probably only talking to you because she has to. Trust me, I had to fake a lot of smiles for a LOT of creeps during that time.
bulging eyes?
That’s poetic, man.