You steal the plants/flowers from my deck?? When I’m home! At noon, on this beautiful day!! Fuck! I was already having a shitty day. Due to a broken thumb, I cannot get out on my bike, or plant my garden. My new neighbours are outside, playing shit music at full volume. Now I’ve just come out onto my deck and see what you’ve done. What a random and shitty thing to do! I hope you don’t come back tonight for everything else on my deck. You fuckers!! —This Neighbourhood Sucks Ass Sometimes
This article appears in May 17-23, 2012.
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Take solace in that you’re not alone.
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ah yes, the plant thief from last year. did your plants look all green and leafy? if so then they thought it was maybe something else. or was it actually something else, that you had growing there? hmmmm, i smell a rat.
And when I went out on my deck this morning, all of the potted plants were gone too! They actually came back. Such a shitty thing to do. Creeps me out too.
Thx for the laughs Fire & Hugo !
Funny how shit music always seems to be played at full blast. It never fails.
OB…that really sucks.
I’m not sure if this will work for you, but mine never moved.
When I lived in the Darkside, I had several potted plants on my patio, it was accessable from the street, no fence. I had large ceramic pots, empty they probably weighed in at about 50 lbs. THey are ( I still have them) about 2 feet high & at least that wide, once filled with soil & and a plant….moving them is a bit of an ordeal, probably in excess of 100lbs .
So unless superman is stealing your plants its going to be a lot of work to remove them & no thief wants to work hard, that IMO is why they steal !
it’s true mr more, i have a gargoyle in my garden but it weighs about a hundred pounds. note: this is not a challenge to anyone
I have a garden gnome in my garden on my patio, breadlady — I named him “Steve Murphy” because the human version reminds me of a gnome.
hah.
Also: sorry your stuff was stolen, OB. You’d think you’d be able to leave plants and flowers out on a deck/backyard and not have people come and take them!
Looks like I’ll be getting a chain to lock up my new BBQ this summer.
When I was a kid someone stole my pumpkins from the front step. I was crushed. 🙁
People stealing your shit, whether it be big or small just plain sucks.
i have a gnome with a little wheelbarrow, he comes out when we are having *staff meetings*
I have an authentic Japanese garden – complete with bridge!
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Ha! That’s got nothing on my garden… noobs
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Captain, let me show you something that will make you feel young again. Like when the world was new.
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Oooo, Pudry! It’s decided, that’s where I’m gonna retire. Somehow tho, I feel strangely drawn towards the light.
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“can i cook, or can’t i”?
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crackheads
It does suck to have your plants stolen. Get some decorative poison ivy in there. 😉
I prefer to err on the safe side. My main planter is 5′ by 5′ by 20″ deep, holds just about 40 bags of soil. Pretty sure even the next hurricane won’t be able to budge it.