Ninety-nine percent of it is just shit TV. Mostly scripted and/or boring. Cheap to produce but it’s just damn ridiculous. Bring on some escapism. —Want a Show with a Plot

This article appears in Dec 20-26, 2012.

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73 Comments

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  3. Listen, I’m sad enough over the end of Jersey Shore. I’m very happy that Honey Boo-Boo has been renewed. Wanna ruin that for me as well?

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  4. the bloody tv guide goes up to 700 channels or some fool thing, i watch the local news at 6 then netflix if i want to watch something. or oasishd. man, that’s pretty.
    so is the lowest common denominator getting lower? very few mercer reports vs all those swamp things, storage wars, hillbilly handfishing and tarted up toddlers, the primo choice for pedophiles.
    or is anyone with an iq over shoe size just tuning out?

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  8. If reality show’s are all scripted, then whats the difference? Sitcoms, dramas, comedy are all scripted, why can’t reality shows get away with it? Or maybe, you just hate that The Situation has more Facebook friends then you do. Probably even more jealous that Snooki has numerous books about her life and you will never have even one.

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  10. go to eztv… they always have a lot of cool documentaries, mostly from BBC.
    Certainly something intelligible for a change.
    Watched a cool one on guinness records yesterday… was good.

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  12. I tuned into TLC one day. ‘Extreme Cheapskates’, ‘Hoarders’ even a show about a tow truck office of which I can’t recall the name were advertised. Extreme Cheapskates did have a show about dumpster diving and some of the entrees one can put together if they work at it. This is free stuff, all it takes is a little digging. lol

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  15. OB …as long as all the sheep continue to pay their bill even if they are bitching.
    THere will be no change.
    Refuse to pay your bill AKA “cancel yer monthly subscription, while bitching” & it may get noticed .

    Get a bunch of the flock, to do the same & it’ll definately be noticed.

    You pay for garbage , you get what you pay for !

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  16. Corrie has become beyond fucking stupid.
    Duck Dynasty is passably funny. For a real fucking hoot, watch the HRM Council meetings, I’ve never seen turds that could talk before.

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  17. TLC used to have decent reality shows (I’m talking 1990s TLC), but now it’s just pathetic.

    From the 23423423345353423 wedding reality shows to shows like extreme cougar wives, it’s out of control.

    Reality shows ARE cheap to produce and people (mainly dumb people) watch them. 🙁

    I wish there were more decent documentaries on. I’ve watched pretty much all the docs on netflix.

    Anyone remember when A&E had actual decent shows? Now it’s all storage wars and horders and shit like that.

    *sigh*

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  19. Next Reality Show; Natives blockading the trans Canada trying to garner support as taxpayers and holiday makers head home on the busiest travel day of the year. You really think this will help your cause?

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  22. Is this a bad time to point out that documentaries are reality TV? Or a worse time to point out that every one is a closet fan of at least one reality show. Come on people, everybody says the shows are stupid and they don’t watch them. Well someones gotta be lying because the ratings keep going up.

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  23. PG did you see where Ken Barlows REAL LIFE son, the guy who used to play a prosecutor on law and order, is now being asked to take over as head of some wack a doodle cultie religious thingie?

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  27. PG – Thursday night there are 3 good Brit shows on BBC in a row, one is the Law and Order then there is Silent Witness and the other is 2 female cops in Manchester.

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  30. Tons of great shows on US cable (HBO, AMC, FX)
    Breaking Bad
    Sons of Anarchy
    Dexter
    Homeland
    Game of Thrones
    Walking Dead
    Mad Men
    Boardwalk Empire
    With shows like these, TV has never been better IMO

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  31. Broc ….I seen a DVD of the 1st seaon of “Son’s of Anarchy” A fuckin’ soap’ & one that SUCKZ ASS to boot ….managed to make it through the first episode & a part way through the second ….couldn’t watch anymore than that.

    ITs right up there with “As the Stomach Turns & All My Fucked up Children.” – Which my ex wife & my mother used to watch( they still might) & any more than 3 or four seconds was too much ! !! ! !
    If that’s what you think is entertainment { quote- never been better- unquote} …then you definately should have cable & or satellite or even BOTH with all the bells & whistles …cause you’d be in heaven.

    ME, I’d call that more like the 3rd or 4th level of HELL !
    I know I’d rather go clean the henhouse, before being subjected to the afore mentioned show …as for the others you named, haven’t seen them But if they are as “good” as Anarchy ….IMO I’m not missing a damn thing !
    That garbage along with maxi pad, tooth whitener, over priced “logo” clothing commercials, makes me think my hell level for those shows, should be 6 or more levels deeper. Somewhere in the molten diarrhea shitstorm level

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  32. i’m in withdrawal from walking dead, broc, can’t wait til it starts up again. i think i will check out breaking bad on netflix.

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  34. Frig yes!
    I see the “Only One Black Dude At A Time” rule has again been enforced.
    Vaya con dios Oscar
    Aloha Tyrese.

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  36. (old broad who used to get smacked around by hubby) there’s another one that can get eaten by zombies, along with ms suck up to anything in pants blondie.

    i like the asian dude and his girlfriend. the hillbilly is cool. the little kid could go walkabout with bacon wrapped around his wing wang IMO.

    and i love the super cool rambo chick who lops off heads.

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  41. I agree with John Bullshit about those st00pid moccasin-pimps. Normally I would puff my chest out and get up in somebody’s grill but I’m too much of a coward to get lippy with Injuns. They’ll fuck ol’ Biscuit up!

    And whoever gave my post about wrestling a thumbs-down: go fuck yourself! You’re probably a silly ass wanker who watches fake shows like Survivor, which is all acted and scripted unlike pro-wrestling, the world’s most dangerous combat sport! Look at ol’ Vinny Mack (Vince McMahon)! He’s got the grapefruits to be the boss AND take on some of the swiftest competition in the world. Lets see that Mark-wuss who “invented” Survivor do the same or at least live on a deserted island somewhere. Better yet, have Survivor on some Injun reserve in Cape Breton!

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  42. There’s some great Reality TV on History channel. Museum Secrets for the win. Stories that really happened, and not a fake tan in sight.

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  43. I forget the name of the TV show,it’s Brit.TV where they dig up someone’s lawn looking for artifacts.
    TV like that sure beats watching the Kard.whores.

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  44. Biscuit, I’m not the resident go-to guy on cultural sensitivity, but I’m pretty sure that “Injun” is considered a pejorative. I believe the proper term is Aborinjunal. >: )
    Happy Kwanzaa from Abdullah the Sonovabitch – The Madman From The Sudan.
    Holiday hugs to Cleo.♥

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  45. Merry Kilimanjaro, brother Abdullah al-Hivan! This is your ol’ pal Biscuit Jack *BANG BANG* reporting live from the Membercap Book First Nation in Eskadiakek, NS!

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  46. PS: Did you get the Chicago Blackhawks jersey I sent with ‘Firewater’ written on the back with the #40?

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  48. I’m telling ya if the Israelis and Palestinians could just agree to a flash mob at Mohawk Mal then all conflict in the ME would be a myth.

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  59. Gold Rush: Alaska, Luther, Scandal, Never Mind The Buzzcocks, QI anything BBC Horizons. All one needs. Fin.

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  60. SOBova is totally stoked for the “Mayday” marathon on Discovery today. Box o’ wine, Turtles, big bag of Mrs. Vickie’s S&Vs. She loves learning about airplane crashes and not in any sicko-sexual David Cronenberg way, either. All those years of me dragging her to the Shearwater Air Show must have had a subliminal effect.

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  62. lolz – She loves the accident reconstruction reconstruction stuff. The N.T.S.B. are her superheroes.
    Next summit, ask me to tell the story of where I proposed to her >: )

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  64. Oh my Gawd PG. I love him too! Have you seen him in interviews! Sooooooo hawt. Too hot even. I’m 22 he’s 40 … but I would. *swoon*

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  66. i finally called frank’s fork-lift to get me off the recliner and pry the remote out of my gravy smeared fingers. hello all.
    made too much, ate too much. ordered a ton of blu ray sets to replace dvds and watched marathons of alien, die hard, jurassic, predator, terminator. my kind of reality tv.
    next feasting is new years day brunch, and then i’m going to do ukrainian.

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  67. GDM I’m glad you had a great Christmas.

    I did have to read your last line twice.The first time I read, you were going to do “a” ukrainian. Eh eh eh.

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  70. morning boru, hahaha i already ‘did a ukrainian, which is how i got an old country mother in law who put on massive feasts. she didn’t do the traditional ’12 meatless dishes’ she laid on the ham, turkey, meatballs, gravy, kielbasa, with potato pancakes, cabbage rolls, perogies slathered in sour cream, bacon and onions, roasted saurkraut, fish cakes. and borsht. heavenly borsht. i was raised so wasp my mom considered spaghetti ‘exotic’. so it was pretty good.

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  71. THE MIND OF THE REALITY TV VIEWER

    : “mind, n. intellectual powers, opp. to will & emotions, whence mindless.”

    : “real’ity, n. property of being real; real existence; what underlies appearances.” (The Concise Oxford Dictionary)

    Can anything coherently be said about the mind of the reality TV viewer? Where the presence of a mind necessarily entails the possession of intellectual powers as opposed to those of the will and emotions, on the one hand, and reality necessarily entails the ontological status of real existence, that which underlies appearances, on the other, can some connection be made between the one and the other? In other words can reality, that which underlies appearances – that old Platonic problem – be engaged by the mind of the reality TV viewer? Two problems immediately arise: (1) The Ontological Problem and (2) The Epistemological problem.

    (1) The Ontological Problem: Can the reality as portrayed in reality TV be said to embody the really real, i.e., that reality which underlies appearances? For example, does the reality portrayed by Swamp People, the Hoarders and so on, be said to reflect reality as it actually exists? Some may say that such shows are scripted and thus they fall into the realm of fiction, that they do not reflect reality at all but rather reside at the ontological level of appearance rather than that of reality. However, this is to overlook the fact that the ontological space between reality and appearance on such shows has been eliminated. It no longer exists. It has been transcended. A new ontological level has been attained, one in which the old reality-appearance dichotomy has been resolved. So yes, the reality engaged by the mind of the reality TV viewer is, in fact, the reality that underlies appearances.

    (2) The Epistemological Problem: What intellectual powers, those which are to be distinguished from those of the will and emotions, are employed by the reality TV viewer as s/he watches reality TV shows? Some claim, of course, that the powers exercised by the reality TV viewer are indistinguishable from those exercised in feats of the will and the emotions with the result that the reality TV viewer is, in fact, mindless. But this is to overlook that transcendent ontological level of reality portrayed by such shows (see #1 above) so that the mind of the reality TV viewer is raised up, so to speak, to function at that novel and emergent level. One might say that the mind of the reality TV viewer is ontologically driven with the consequence that, yes, the intellectual powers of the reality TV viewer truly engages reality, that which underlies appearances.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

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