Why the fuck should I put the toilet seat down?, it’s your ass that sits on it the most. I pee standing up, and do this about 25 times a day(I drink a lot of tea, and when I’m not drinking tea, I drink a lot of sky juice, then moo juice, and my share of beer)
I “sit” on the toilet maybe twice a day, and that’s when I put the seat down. After I’m done, I lift back up. It has germs and that sort of nasty stuff on it, why would I touch it more than I have to? I do wash my hands after going to the can, but why would I want to add extra germs to the “sit”uation? You need to sit while peeing?, well, put the fuckin’ seat down your self. Dog almighty…whaa…
—Scareorrist
This article appears in Feb 4-10, 2010.
Wow….. this is a very interesting bitch. I am interested in knowing the location of this toilet and just who, exactly, uses it. If it is your private home, I can’t see the issue you have in simply complying with common courtesy. Unless you don’t believe in household cleaners and the person you’re bitching about is a dude who prefers dangling when draining.
If you pee 25 times a day, I hardly believe that you hit a direct target every time (especially all hopped up on caffeine or beer) and I am more than certain you do not clean up after yourself when you miss. I think more investigation is required to draw up a conclusion as to whether I support your bitch or think you just some wanker who doesn’t mind using the facilities as long as cleaning is not required.
This isn’t a male vs female issue. The seat AND the lid should remain in the down position until use. Germs? You need to clean your toilet more often and spend less energy making it a gender war when it should not be one!
Easy!
Piss in the sink.
Just out of curiosity, why do guys have to put the seat up at all? Is it that difficult to piss into the area with the hole? It’s not like it’s radically larger with the seat up than down.
Also, if you live in a home with an equal number of each gender, chances are the opposite gender will be the next person in the bathroom. Therefore, why not have the “pointers” put the seat down, and the “setters” put it up when each is done?
Or get a dog that drinks out of the toilet. Then you have to close the lid when you’re done, and EVERYONE has to lift something up.
lots of turlet bitches lately…maybe we need public washrooms we can have sex in, like that eatery in t.o.
Gidget,
Leaving the seat down while I piss would be like trying to drive an 18 wheeler thru the eye of a needle.
Manhood, Baby! Manhood!
ha! luthor knows….
it’d be like trying to fist a hamster.
and then there’s all that spatter on the seat. who needs all the inevitable yelling?
I have a cat that likes to hop up from time to time so we keep it all down otherwise it’s the dunk tank for him.
ha… the misconceptions surrounding male urination. Matthew- is your analogy a direct inference to what you believe to be your size or are you simply proving a point 😉
I like Gidget’s idea…. last person to use the facilities be responsible for placing the seat accordingly. That way if the seat is down and full of sprinkles, you know who is responsible and can lay down the appropriate punishment. I know if I was female, I would not want to have to be solely responsible for seat logistics…. SHARE THE GERMS!
Both jonnoman!
That’s why the only thing I don’t do is the Golden Showers!
100 PSI baby!
heh…. z, I think OP is directing this bitch toward a different kind of pussy…….
nice pic jonno, glad to see you’ve started to enjoy the party that is LTWWB.
the underwear specifically is quite classy…
If the lid is left in the down position than each person is responsible for their own usage and then there IS no debate about up or down seats. Sheeeesh!
As a guy, this is the way I view unisex bathrooms: Men need the seat up 70% of the time and down 30% of the time (approx). Women need the seat down 100% of the time. This means that the toilet seat should be down 65% of the time overall. Therefore based on the numbers, the seat should be put down when you’re done, whether you’re male or female.
I find it interesting that pissing your name in the snow is possible, and in some cases, masterful, but getting your pee into the bowl with the seat down would be like “fisting a hamster” or driving an 18-wheeler through the eye of a needle”. Although, I *do* give you both points for imagery, Matthew and zZz.
pissing in the snow is possible, but calligraphy it ain’t.
and NW, I think your math is a little off.. assuming a sample size of 200 – half women and half men – and your figures (assuming it takes as long to 1 as it does 2 which is flawed) then the seat would only need to be raised 70 times in 200 uses which is only 35%.
still… it’s always good not to piss off the ladies.
they scream and fuss like banshees.
Gidget – Do you think the stream just starts and stops like a fucking laser pointer?
zZz: For some folks, it *is* calligraphy – but I digress. LOL
I couldn’t care either way, I clean the toilet in my house (he does the kitchen), so I know it’s clean when I’m lifting or lowering the seat.
Neville: Mine does… (kidding).
gidget- while pissing our names in the snow is entirely possible, (and I GUESS in some cases masterful) it is by no means done with such an accuracy with which you could copy a typeset 😉 … There are, sometimes, anatomical factors that can cause flow-misdirection and sometimes even dispersion upon release! Not to mention no one is immune from possible drippage…
Oceanlady- just because the toilet seat is left down doesn’t mean one can safely assume the previous urinator complied with the “rules” and lifted when they drifted…. Getting back to the OP’s initial concern- perhaps a container of wipes and a cleaning when each person is done, followed by the lowering of the seat, would be a worthy compromise……
it’s callled common curisy you asshole, if you ever came to my fucking place, i’d make you sit, so that there is no splashes all over the fucking place. that just pisses me off.i don’t want your fucking germy piss on my floor or turlit.
Same here — zZz. My cats like to sit on the toilet seat while I’m in the shower or getting ready at the sink. It’s always been down because we had a curious kitten once who tried drinking the water and went face first in the can. Not very pleasant (for him or me!), but now all my cats expect it to be down.
And the bathroom just looks more neat and tidy when the lid is down too.
Ummm… zZz… Re-read my post dude. I said 65% of the time the seat needs to be down. You said 35% of the time the seat needs to be up. (Same thing man). 😀
yup, my speed-reading caught me again.
I knew there was a reason you’re called that.
My cats use to jump on the lid carelessly… Now they stand on their hind legs to make sure they’re not going for a dip. All though it is sadly ammusing when they get surprised.
Otherwise, the only male in my household was ‘trained’ to put the seat down before moving in 😀
i think most guys try to remember to put the seat down we are just forgetful
I wonder if there’s a market for toilets who’s seats and lids drop automatically once you flush… might be worth looking into. the marketing pretty much writes itself.
Hey- perhaps it would be better to build an electronic toilet that comes with a remote control. Use the remote to put the seat up -> use the facilities -> wash your hands -> use the remote to put the seat back down. I can see everyone wanting to pay thousands of dollars for such a piece of technology!
i seem to recall seeing that invention in japan or somewhere or maybe i’m imagining z
http://www.joes-plumbing.com/toilet_seat.h…
That is all…
excellent Gidget! Someone place the order and we’ll have the bill sent to the OP. Only thing is, what if you have a REEEALLLY long pee?
didn’t John Buchanan get a spanking for some automatic toilet about 4 million light years ago?
Yeah, I think he paid $10,000 in taxpayers’ money for it back in ’81…
BWAH!
crap… oh well… that version runs off a timer so that when you have to coax yourself to get it going and then the lid ends up closing mid-stream, you’ll be looking for my improved model that gently lowers the seat and lid only upon tripping the flush mechanism.
So Stephen Harper goes out one morning and sees “Stephen Harper Sucks” written in piss at the end of his driveway.
He calls the RCMP and says “Find who did this!”
They come back and say “We have good news and bad news”
“Good news it was Jack Layton!”
“Bad news it was your wife’s handwriting!”
Luthor…. that looks like an “AMEN” to me… nice one.
I use my foot (with my shoe from outdoors) to lift/lower the seat….yup, I’m a guy. I’m not touching that disease ridden plastic seat.
If you’re using a public restroom, it’s one thing to put your mitts all over the seat, but don’t guys generally use urinals, or leave the seats up, or use a shoe, or even a piece of toilet paper?
In your own home, you most likely share more than just a toilet with your spouse/family/housemates, and if you’re using the toilet the way it was intended (i.e.: not licking the bowl out to clean it), you pretty much only run the risk of catching the same things you’d catch from being around them touching common household items.
In fact, in public washrooms, those stupid reusable towel rollers are a far worse breeding ground and transmitter of infections than a toilet seat.
Yeah, in public restrooms, toilets are generally reserved for last-resort scenarios for urination (like if all urinals are in use, or you’d have to stand next to someone with wandering eyes…..) Unless, of course, the OP works in some smaller place of business where the only restroom is shared by everyone. Either way, this bitch is pointless…. and by the way, I think the worst place for germs is actually on the door handle…. do you know how many people go into restrooms and leave without washing their hands? They should make all restroom doors swing outword so you can use your feet….
Here is the best reason to put the seat down & keep it down unless your actually standing up & having a piss !
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node…
as for peeing with the seat down, when you’ve almost completely voided your bladder, the urine stream decreases & men will dribble out the last little bit..do you really want to be peeing on the seat ?
All the guy’s who claim otherwise are either lying to you, fooling themselves, or are so short their dick hangs down into the bowl or they’re packing a 16 inch or better male member & their dicks down past the seat ~;)
WHich is where the joke about 2 guy’s standing on a pier pissing. comment- “man that water’s cold tonight!” ” Yeah, & deep too !”
And i’m willing to bet there’s not going to be many, if any women here who’ve ever brought a guy home packing that much meat !
or the more common no-door mini-maze that have been cropping up lately… like the mall and some walmarts and airports.
and don’t most public washrooms not have a lid? don’t bother lifting the seat, just piss all over it and then give er a quick wipe before you leave. 🙂
it is practically sterile. you’re not adding any bacteria.
I remember seeing a program that confirmed that…
and has now become common practice.
If you need it up put it up, if you need it down put it down. Quit bitching, remember it’s equal rights now. You get what you get.
All you folks with fancy toilets that flush, that have seats and lids and cats…..wow……and those that even have them indoors…..shit.
What are you bitching about again?
I hate buying TP, waste of trees…lol, love this thing.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11059655/
yeah, so rather than wasting shit tickets, you’re wasting actual money…
wow.
how much TP can you buy for $1200 + ?