Ever since you got married, we’ve watched you change from a man into a total pussy. The guys and I all shake our heads each time we see you jump. Your phone rings, it’s your wife, and off you go. No point telling her you’re out with your friends, you instantly jump and run to the minivan. What happened to your balls? Did she chop them off? Not hard to see your wife runs your life. You don’t see any of us doing what you’re doing… and our wives are fine with it. Maybe if she lets you near a computer you’ll be able to read this. We’re starting to become ashamed of you. —The Guys
This article appears in Nov 3-9, 2011.
HAHAHA Minivan….
jealous much?
Heh Heh. Dude got married. That is SOOOO fuckin’ gay.
Jealous? OB sounds anything but.
Especially since he mentioned he’s married as well.
Some guys just because totally whipped when they get married. It’s really REALLY sad.
This otta have a few folks jumpin’! Minivan – nice touch.
actually, he sounds pretty whiny that he doesn’t get to spend as much special time with his friend. And yes, of course, all married men are straight and monogamous – what was I thinking?
That’s fucking sad. Marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Too bad he couldn’t just chew his leg off and crawl away from that insecure twat – it would probably be less painful in the long run.
Then again – MAYBE HE WANTS TO! Maybe her twat is full of pop rocks and cola.
Miss your bromance? At least you have your other boys to hang with……..and he may prefer her company to yours……ya just never know what some guys are doing behind closed doors…….yep, even with the wife.
If this is a new marriage then it shouldn’t take too many ‘guz-in-tahs’ to figure out why he runs out when his wife calls him….he’s cuntstruck! He’s probably getting laid 5 times a day, maybe more. Jesus! Do ya fuckin’ blame him? “Hmmm…well I COULD sit here in Bob’s shed swilling beer with rest of the guys all night…..orrrrr… I could be home plowing my new sexy wife’s back forty. Whatever should I do?” Advantage: sweet lovin’
You were in the same situation when you first got married too.
it’s possible he’s whipped yes.
Of course.. it’s also possible that he outgrew you. You sound sort of like a dumbass and boys that grow into men sort of have a way of outgrowing dumbass friends.
Hard to say really.
see avast makes a good point.
He’s getting laid. All bets are off.
Maybe he’s married to a Babe, and you and your crew are going home to cave dwellers. Or you guys are such dicks your wives would prefer you not be home so they can have some peace
he’s married… why would he be getting laid?!?!?
I vote whipped.
as in “he’d rather hear any and all the shit you talk about him than have to deal with the wife’s incessant rambling and interrogation… inevitably right before bed as he’s trying to sleep.”
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Then again – MAYBE HE WANTS TO! Maybe her twat is full of pop rocks and cola.
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Oh, dear God.
Do they really exist?
Ever hopeful,
WheelieP
Perhaps it’s your wife that’s calling to tell him the coast is clear and he’s fucking the daylights out of her?
o.p., take a very close look at my avatar, it is entitled,”who needs you now bitch”. very appro for this particular bitch, i would think, right?
and o.p., by the way, why you boys are out together, your wives are humping the guy down the street, the one with the big black car, know him?
Maybe your wives are fine with it so they can fuck their boyfriends.
Wifey’s got something you and the guys don’t. No contest.
There’s just so much wrong with being a doormat like this I don’t know where to begin. The biggest thing to me is that, and please correct me if I’m wrong ladies, WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO DOORMATS! I know everyone is attracted to different things but that one is pretty universal. If they were attracted to doormats a lot more guys would be getting laid on the reg, especially married guys. It would be too easy.
Women might fuck or date doormats, maybe even marry them, but I truly believe it’s for reasons other than attraction, like, oh I don’t know, the fact that they can tell them to do anything and they’ll do it.
So basically OP’s friend is going through all these hoops to ensure that his wife is satisfied, but in the long run this behavior does not satisfy anybody.
People want to feel like they are working and accomplishing things, if you just do anything a person says at the drop of a dime they will grow tired of you and lose respect for you. That’s a certified Tommyjules902 guaran-mofuckin-tee. To quote my man Rampage Jackson “if it come easy, it ain’t worth it”
I swear to god, in my experience, nothing turns a woman on more than when she asks you to do something you don’t want to do, and you say “no”. They will fight and whine but they will see you as a man with convictions and feelings and reasonings, not a robot that only says “yes, dear”
It amazes me that men twice my age haven’t figured this out.
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivation…
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivation…
Mr Pussy is probably one of those loser guys who married the first chick who paid even the slightest bit of attention to him. No wonder he’s whipped. OB, ditch him and go watch the game.
thankfully or not, suckster, i don’t need to click on your photo. i can see the gonads
OP, maybe he finds that little patch of fur more entertaining than you are.
I dunno….the last thing I feel like after “reminding” my BF to do his dishes or take out the garbage for the 10th time, is jumping in the sack with him…but maybe that’s just me.
Not me, I could still jump in the sack, even if my wife reminded me 20 times.
MR and GV have just high-lighted the difference between the male and female (assuming MR is a girl) perspective on bumpin’ uglies. Guys take note.
Ain’t it funny that the title of this bitch is also the reason for this bitch?
Maybe it’s the girlfriend calling and you guys are just a cover story for the wife.
but painy, the pic is a little more than gonads. take a very close look. you might have to enlarge it, to get full detail.
Cool story, bro.
DON’T GET SUCKERED IN!
Great Value (Nov.1, 8:57PM) – Yeah, GV, we know you’re one virile dude but don’t get suckered in by androphobic bull dykes like Oceanchick (9:08PM) who are going to pick up on what is meant to be a humorous comment like yours and sneeringly turn it against the male sex in general. Watch your step around these people, GV.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
“androphobic bull dykes like Oceanchick “
Sounds like Mr. Smoove B Love Machine has a new crush. >; )
Sorry Xeno
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.…
It’s not always the lady’s fault for the boys behavior. I have been in situations where I have to tell boys “HANG OUT WITH YOUR GAD DAMN FRIENDS AND DITCH ME ALREADY!” Also, why am I always the one who has to pick restaurants? What is this? I think it’s a conspiracy against me. Anytime I have a boyfriend, they must consult my past boyfriends and agree to refuse to ever choose a restaurant to go to. I’m always going to pick somewhere that either has all day eggs benedict or sweet potato fries.
Mel – Tell them ‘Denny’s’, that’ll shut them up…or get you a trip to Ont ;
here ya go mel, just for you http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wrvCrO7ePrM/TE3P…
Mel. bennies sound good to me so when are we going. LOL.
god damn… now I’m on a benny n sweet po mission.
gravy….
and you have to pick because otherwise we’re spending money on food AND have to listen to you complain how you don’t like it… or anything.. on the menu.
If WE don’t like the food… odds are we’ll still eat something and won’t ramble on… in great length… at how awful it was and how this other place is better… and how the decor is so 90’s… and how the waiter/waitress uniforms are cute but must be uncomfortable… and…. blah blah blah.
just go somewhere you like so we don’t hear complaining.
Ha! I feel bad for you Z, having to deal with such terrible ladies. I definitely wouldn’t do any of those things. For one, I love the 90s and would be thrilled with 90s decor. I have yet to go to a restaurant that doesn’t have at least one thing I like. I usually have trouble picking something because I want to eat it all. The only thing I complain about is how small my stomach is and how I wish I could fit more food in it. I just hate this conversation:
Me: Where do you want to eat?
Boy: I don’t know, you decide.
Me: Well I don’t know… [Insert restaurant name here]?
Boy: ……………………..Yeah…that’s fine *totally unconvincing*
Me: Well where did you want to go? I don’t care where we go.
Boy: No, we’ll just go there. *Sigh* I want to go there. *nose grows bigger*
You get the point. Also I pay for my own food so there’s a bonus ;D
Your dates always make you choose the location Mel? Men should take charge of that sort of thing. At least suggest a couple places.
Ommgg! Eggs benedict AND sweet potato fries?!? You can do that?!? Sweet potato hashbrowns! I’d be allll over dat shit.
Jesus H. Murphy, PG! What are you trying to do?? Be careful what you post. Never, EVER cross the streams of yummy awesomeness like that! The reverse polarity has the potential to implode heads like a scene from Scanners. (At the very least, it makes Mel knaw on her computer screen. Not pretty and I would hazard to say not good for her teeth.)
Tommy writes: I swear to god, in my experience, nothing turns a woman on more than when she asks you to do something you don’t want to do, and you say “no”.
Wrong, Tommy. The only thing that makes me hotter than seeing a man in an apron is when he is also holding a mop.
And you can’t have eggs benny without a mimosa to cut the richness, so it has to be a place that serves champagne!
teehee, it coulda been much worse. i know you’ve made this before http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_4GJjAYSEAQQ/TJ4X…
Mel,
I used to play the ‘narrow it down’ game…
they pick the type of place… you pick 2 or 3 to choose from… then they make the final choice.
Figured it out for movies more than anything… that way the picks tend to swing in the direction of both of you.
suggest what type of food… or ask him to… then start whittling away.
Or just suggest a place he’s had food poisoning in before…
he’ll make an alternate decision… they always do.
The boy actually works at a bar/pub as a cook so he’s usually turned off by most restaurants because he knows the inner workings of it all, which makes the whole restaurant choosing thing more miserable. He likes sandwiches though, thankfully every restaurant has a sandwich of some sort. Also, he doesn’t like nachos. LIKE WTF.
O.M.G. PG! Aaagggghghghghghgghg *gurgle gurgle drool gurgle*
Imma comin for breaky! mmmmmmm
And, I’m sorry Mel, I met the boy and he seems like a really nice guy, honest he does but…..WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T LIKE NACHOS??!!
? nacho free’s not the way to be.
if he’s a cook… get him to make something then.
(unless he’s the ol’ cobbler’s shoes are the last to be mend sorta guy… in which case he shouldn’t complain)
maybe you’re suggesting some divish places he won’t trust…..
nothing like places with open kitchen concepts to get away from that stigma.
i’ve had really bad natchos in restaurants, we make them at home. i’m with your squeeze, mel, i know what goes on in these places *shudder*
I like nacho toppings without the nachos.
When I was younger I used to just eat melted cheese on a plate :D. No wonder I was chubby.
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WHO THE FUCK DOESN’t like nachos?!
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I *knew* there was something wrong with that nice and cool dude you brought to Summit!
Nacho Bigot.
dude, that’s *bad*!
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Great Value (Nov.1, 8:57PM) – Yeah, GV, we know you’re one virile dude but don’t get suckered in by androphobic bull dykes like Oceanchick (9:08PM) who are going to pick up on what is meant to be a humorous comment like yours and sneeringly turn it against the male sex in general. Watch your step around these people, GV.
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Check out Casanova, here!
Tongue of pure syrup, my man.
Smooooooove!
*I’m* getting wet!