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Dear grown-up man that pushes women when they’re standing alone at a gig: The first time you pushed me, I was scared. Congrats to you for living the life of a fair-sized white man and never having to be afraid of someone assaulting you. I do not live that life. You kept pushing me every time you entered or exited the room until I was just done. I gave you a chance to explain yourself in case there was some fun reason I was being accosted that I was unaware of. You seemed startled. Do the women you push around not normally talk back? The next time you almost knocked me over. You said you didn’t know what my problem is, but that you’d stop pushing me if that’s what I wanted. Then once my husband’s band was done playing and I wasn’t alone, and once my friend arrived and started eyeing you from across the bar, you tucked it between your legs and scurried home.
Next time you see me feel free to spontaneously grow into an adult and come up and apologize to me. Alternatively go right ahead and develop a taste for country music. Those will be the only gigs in the city I’m not at. And wherever I am, you need to know there are people who know you push women you view as alone and vulnerable. I want you to feel like I felt at the gig, at every gig—scared and unsure if you should just go somewhere and hide until it is over. —Not Fucking Having it at My Favourite Bar
This article appears in Sep 17-23, 2015.
When I go to Montreal, the people there speak French. When I go to a bakery, I can only buy baked goods. Should I go to a punk show, I imagine there will be a mosh pit… and pushing… and goons.
Don’t go to punk shows as the mosh pits are full of pushing goons.
Sounds like a six year old who pushes other kids on the school ground to get their attention. Sad that an adult is still using the same tactic to get a female’s attention – even at a punk show.
It wasn’t a mosh pit. It was an almost empty room and he was pushing me every time he entered or exited. Not the same thing.
Jesus meet me in Montreal for a rendevous, we’ll speak french all night long and then go to a punk show. And we can eat bagels and poutine, and then you can enlightenment me and make me feel all warm inside. lol.
I support Ashley and I support this bitch. Men at punk shows act as if women are intruding on their little boys club and I have witnessed first hand the harassment and violence you are speaking of. It’s scary and humiliating and I want you to know that if I ever witness such behaviour at a show I will be there to back up the victim. Security is sometimes lax at these events and cops don’t take this shit seriously. We have to protect each other.
Cops take assault VERY seriously, especially when committed against women. I reiterate my previous point.
Nine dislikes? I’m claiming victim status.
I used to frequent Gus’ a lot and this shit happens more then it should. At least you didn’t get pushed in Gus’ old pee corner.
^^ “Nine dislikes? I’m claiming victim status.”
We live in an age of victimhood. Everyone else is a victim. Why not you?
Millennials are so sensitive these days. Look, the RiotGRRRL movement tried to make it safe for chicks in mosh pits for a reason so stop being so sensitive.
Oh, not a mosh pit. Gus’s? Maybe buddy was just tired of the young kids cluttering up his watering hole of 30 years with their loud music and fancy pants.
Almost empty room?
Sounds like a slammin’ gig.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/60bfec01fcb71f3…
Micro-Aggressions, Ho!st . You received 9 micro-aggressions.
And then your comments were deleted.
Frankly, Moderator – your fame is spreading.
Ah, that’s too bad about the deleted posts, I thought they were pretty funny. I guess it’s a no-no to point out that calling people immature while your husband plays in a bar band (particularly one that performs in front of an empty room) is a bit hypocritical.
Perhaps it was the Yoko Ono reference that angered the moderator and her gaggle of fem bots.
Were you standing in front of the side door next to the stage?
You were probably just in the fucking way.
BTW, about guys being ‘agressive’ at punk shows. I think someone already mentioned this, but, its a fucking punk show FFS. Seriously? That’s like complaining about people shushing you at the Cohn when they’re playing Beethoven’s 9th (excellent show, BTW).
yeah man, violence against women should just be expected these days. besides, she was probably just asking for it. you know, by existing.
I do appreciate a fine bit of sarcasm… bravo! But Tribby dear, there are many holes in the story which leaves OB open to question and ridicule.