To a certain boys and girls day camp that has been using the public transit system as a school bus for oodles of kids—get your shit together! I understand that daycare is under-funded and you need to work with what you got, but please be considerate of the other bus riders. Yesterday, I got on the #14 heading downtown and there was a group of about 20 kids—all standing, blocking the aisles, yelling back and forth and darting between seats. When I finally got a seat in the very back row—the kids in front of me were using the bus handle bars as a jungle gym and one fell on top of me when the bus had to stop suddenly. Two of the counsellors were sitting in the row ahead and instead of paying attention to their flock of misbehaving brats and telling them to sit the fuck down, they were just chatting away among themselves like they were on their way to the mall. As a paying public transit rider I was outraged, because the noise and constant movement was distracting the driver (I could see him keep looking in his mirror). And, if I was a parent of any of those kids, I would be very concerned about their safety. If that kid hadn’t face planted into my lap, she would have smacked her head hard on the seat. Seriously, pay attention to the kids you are paid to take care of, and keep them civil on the bus or fucking walk their asses where they need to go. —Leave The Jungle Gym On The Playground
This article appears in Jul 12-18, 2012.
tis the season…i’ve noticed a lot of the counsellors are quite young themselves. probably trying to be buddies with the kids instead of controlling them
Daycares in the inner city or suburban failed-states like Spryfield and Fairview should probably spend more effort on getting the kids to appreciate their own community rather than showing them an better life that will always be tantalizingly out of reach.
It’s not difficult. Fitness can be promoted by using stretches of deteriorated sidewalk as “Confidence Courses” Dodge the potholes, chalk outlines, puddles of blood and/or vomit, splayed bodies of indigents within a fixed time limit.
Environmental awareness can be promoted by organizing cleanups of vacant lots. er sorry, local green spaces. Crack vials, hypodermic needles, spent shell casing, Timmies cups, empty bottles of Big-8 soda. Even the most virulent ADD kid will be kept occupied by this because each day will provide a new bonanza of Urban Detritus.
An appreciation for nature and science will be nurtured by identifying the various sub species of rodent and insect life found in the Urban Wilderness. By studying the growth of maggots in a panhandler’s track marks, the youngster can determine how long since his last fix.
Keeping children off of public transit between the “Riding in the SUV-sized stroller to Mommy’s Court-Ordered Parenting Class” years and the “Heading to the Dome with a Flick-knife and Pocket Full of Rohypnol” years may sound draconian on the surface, but it would do wonders to establishing a “Holistic Citizen” and “Steward of the Community” ethos in the upcoming generation.
“empty bottles of Big-8 soda”
ELLE-OH-FUCKING-ELLE.
^^ that was brilliant, Ivan.
You are one of my many muses, PK. >; )
UM, wow, Ivan *shakes head & giggles* WOW. How sadly true it is…
giant tiger’s classy…
they don’t even sell big 8 pop.
they do have a lot of this though
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/shortorder/…
keeps the depressed frequently visiting locals good and sedated
Thanks Kontee. I’m probably being overly pessimistic, Blame it on the heat. >: )
Maybe the ‘sweat’ on the lady’s ass crack wasn’t sweat, zed — it was anal leakage from bob’s mellow juice.
“UM, wow, Ivan *shakes head & giggles* WOW.”
Ivan…put your pants back on.
😀
Applying sexual references to non sexual things.
As an acolyte and mindless follower of our Head Cheerleader (heh heh) Pretteh Kitteh, I too, follow her dictum of eschewing trousers where, and whenever possible. Like now.
she shoulda been taking spishak cholesterol…
now with 10 percent less anal leakage.
Still laughing at Chopper Reid linking K.F.C. to the old “Liquid Sit-down” in the link I posted yesterday.
Once again Vastie, lashings of thanks and benedictions for introducing us to “Harden The Fuck Up”
Who’s in your latest avatar Ivan?
Aussie actor Kristian Schmid who plays Leading Seaman Robert (RO) Dixon on “Sea Patrol”. Seen weeknights on Showcase at 5:00PM and again on Sundays at 1:00. I’ve been working my way down the crew roster of H.M.A.S. Hammersley this week.
No worries, myte. Gotta respect a bloke who cuts ‘is owyn ea-ahs uff whoile in the clink, jus’ fer sumthin’ ta do.
Apparently the autobiography is bit o’ a read althouth, you gotta love the cover:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tsKCzG5E1Xk/TUDd…
And I have yet to see the movie, starring Eric Bana but I’m told he really lives up to the role:
http://lunkiandsika.files.wordpress.com/20…
Sorry, that should read “although”
Oi! – fuckin’ wanker stole my fuckin’ motto for ‘is fuckin’ book cover. Oim bloody outraged, Oi am.
(If you’re reading this, Chopper, I didn’t really mean that. Still buds?)
Yeah, I gotta check out the flick. I hear Bana did the De Niro thing and gained about 40 pounds for the role. I’ve been sending the parody links to me Old Dad. He loves them.