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What is it with all you guys who can’t last more than 30 seconds in the sack? The last 3 guys I took home (yes I am slut – so sue me) wouldn’t add to to a minute between them.
—Horny Grrrl Denied
This article appears in Sep 3-9, 2009.
48 Comments
Honey, you must be taking home the young, newly legal boys. They’re just excited to have a flesh & blood woman!
Go for an older man next time 😉
I know its been 25+ years since I’ve been under 20…but even then I can’t ever remember geting off in 30 seconds !
That must be something new they’re putting in the Red Bu..I mean ‘energy drinks’ .
😉
;p
;o
30 seconds…lol
Maybe you’re just that damn good. LOL.
Maybe they wanted to get away as quick as possible?
Do you charge by the minute or hour?
You must be too good looking. Next time right after he puts it in throw on a rubber George Bush mask or something. It might work if you’re on top.
Oh…so this is what my grandmother meant when she said,
“When you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself.”
sleep with a woman.
I’ll give the OP a trip around the block if she’s looking for a cruise.
This is a legit concern! I left my last relationship because of this. I’m with shoe_chick – pick someone older next time, preferably someone without a popped collar.
Would it be pompous to declare that I last much too long? That can be a problem as well
Maybe you’re hooking up with guys of a particular subset who, for whatever reason, aren’t interested in developing control. Maybe try meeting guys from different walks of life?
Matthew, at first I thought what you said was funny, but then I was like….why? Cause she’s a girl who has sex? Apparently OP’s strategy of beating slut-shamers at their own game didn’t work.
Not to brag, not saying I’m some incredible Casanova, and I know that all the cool Internet Gods say this, but I have never, ever, nor will I ever, last for just 30 seconds! Well, not since I turned 20, anyway. Don’t know what type of guys you’ve been bringing home lately. Would it be safe to assume you’re a relatively attractive 18 to 19 year old female who’s taking home 18 to 19 year old guys? If this is a problem, you need to get out of places like the Dome and the Palace and find more experienced men who are interested in your pleasure as well as theirs… guys in their mid-twenties who post on LTWWB with funny sounding, hard to pronounce names, for instance.
Hey, don’t judge me, it’s always worth a shot!
I imagine it’s pronounced: Kwip-mizz-won-zaybe-kroove. Try it! It rolls right off the tongue. Kwip-mizz-won-zaybe-kroove.
THREE WORDS: Quality over quantity!
Maybe you’re just too tight, OP?
I’ve *heard* that can speed things up a bit 🙁
How does it feel to be a 30 second sperm recepticle? If that’s all the time they’re taking, you’re really nothing more.
I don’t think it matters how long it takes, TTFN, I’m pretty sure any random chick a guy bones is pretty much a sperm receptacle, or as I like to say “just plumbing” 😛
well sweetheart, you ain’t tried the best yet, 30 seconds, my god, they actually lasted that long. honey, with me you’re talking hours of fun and games.i kid you not.
If your sex is over within minutes it’s because your partner is being a SELFISH LOVER who is unconcerned with your pleasure. Period.
geeze, I’m trying to be all politically correct and not start anything with my last post but let’s face it, women just don’t do this (imagine!) so let’s call a spade a spade…
If your sex is over within minutes it’s because your MAN is being a SELFISH PRICK who is unconcerned with your pleasure. Period.
Kay , I often do not agree with what you post, and calling any man a ‘lover’ after 30 seconds is IMO really stretching it.(asshole comes readily to mind for a person like that)
But I do agree with your comment about being a selfish prick. Unfortunately for some, pleasure of self , is more important than the pleasure of partner. Where those of us who go with pleasure of partner first, brings more pleasure for self, & this tends to lead to both people wanting & having sex with ‘their’ partner again & again.
Cum Dumpster… haha
but backint it up “preferably someone without a popped collar.” that made my day
wow, as long as she calls herself a slut you all have nothing to say of it…. with kind exceptions to ocean and ttfn.
1… because I like numbers, and it makes a better point when I get to the end… what the helll are you doing/thinking/drinking/smoking??? (yes, I used 3 L’s because I think the situation is dire)
Relax the legs a bit and play some scrabble before you try to get these 15 second superstars in the sheets. If they can’t spell ‘foreplay’ then that should be your first sign.
2. tell me you’re young…. please. Not some cougar unsatisfied with some young muffin you picked at a greasy club. If you’re over 20 then I think I’ve lost all respect for you. But never fear, I will continue….
3. the young ones may be quick, but they can recoup like Oprah at a buffet. Seconds is always an option and the sooner the better so he gives you a bit more ‘grindaaaaagggggeeeeee’ (been in the pauly shore mood…. sorry)
4. to my last note, do not take it as a challenge to fuck every guy with a face.
Have some decency woman! the world is not a rap video! you need not shake your ass to lure these losers into drooling on your ass like chromagnon.
5. I doubt you’re listening to anything I’ve presented here. I am a male. one of the ‘nice guys’…. the ones whom you desire to treat you better. It will not be me ‘servicing you’ any time soon…. but g’luck with that.
Spot on AND hilarious. Great bitch. Grrl you’re like so many other women on the prowl. You need to reevaluate your pick up criteria. Everyone here assumes you’re picking up really young guys (and rightfully so) because any half decent fling would have seen to your needs before or after he’s gotten off.
I agree with Kay here mostly. How long a guy lasts should not determine the length of the make-out session. Also, how enjoyable is it for a guy who only lasts 30 seconds too? Probably not very. The young ones may not care, but any older guy who can’t control himself will probably make up for it in some creative and unselfish ways. Unless you are one of the few gals who can get off with intercourse, you should always be able to be satisfied with an unselfish minute man.
To all the Jizz Jar Janes out there – it’s such a shame you have to prove your ‘worth’ through your random boinking. For all the progress we women have made, you’re still considered a slut while the dirtbag on top of you can crow all he wants about scoring another pelt. Double standards still exist whether we want them to or not. What’s even sadder is that many of these JJJs will probably end up as cougar barflies.
Let’s see the OB calls herself a slut and most likely dresses and acts like one. She picks up some guy who knows she is one so uses her as the slutty cum receticle she is and then she complains. If she has no respect for herself then why should anyone else. It’s her cum-stained bed, let her lie in it.
I think the main reason for the double standard of men being studs while women are sluts is due to the fact that most men, the vast majority of the time, are the ones who really need to work at pursuing and getting it. Basically, most of us guys are generally pretty easy while girls are generally much more of a challenge to get into bed. Therefore, when a guy picks up a girl, he has usually really achieved something (and something good!) after working quite hard at it, while if a girl just gets with a lot of random guys she’s really not doing anything special or particularly challenging and is therefore considered a slut. It’s also guys who have to do most of the physical work during sex too (including holding off), especially in the all too common missionary position. Most girls just need to lay there and make funny noises.
I personally, however, have no issue with women who like sex, pursue it, and aren’t afraid to admit it. If more women were like this, both women AND men would be much, much happier people! Really, why is there such a stigma about liking sex? It feels awesome and is good for you. No need to be a prude about it.
Agreed…..and it’s not like she said “the last 3 guys I took home in the last 24 hours” or something. How what she said equates to her being a cum soaked slutbag who apparently doesn’t wash her sheets, is beyond me.
This reminds me the pre-AIDS era where the ‘new woman’ was supposed to be able to call the shots on their love life – they were called sluts back then too. I’ve always hated the double standard but it still exists, thriving as ever. I doubt if it’ll ever go away.
“It’s her cum-stained bed, let her lie in it.”
Ugh, imagine laying in crusty old cum from the guy she fucked the night before you.
I’ll pass thx
Nice flip-flop there TTFN.
The only way a guy can become a “stud” is for women to invite them into their beds. It takes two (unless you’re going out with the Palm Sisters).
Hey OP.. One-nine-zero-two. Four-zero…. Er… Nevermind. Good luck.
When you procrastinate to further extentions during sex then it won’t be on the eve of your life. OP, you need to liberate the wisdom of freshness and it will all work out.
It wasn’t a flip-flop as much as a comment on how the more things change, the more they stay the same.
However, when you’re into numbers, whether male or female – someone who needs to have that many strange fucks has bigger problems than crusty cum to deal with.
Maybe shitty sheets?
I have a sneaking suspicion the 30 seconds the OP reported do not include foreplay. *sad story*
And I think the OP calls herself a slut knowing what your first take on her bitch would be… so predictable, you bitches.
She may soon be changing her name to “STD Victim”…
Nah I think it will be “STD Provider”.
The term “slut” *is* subjective, though, guys. I know people who can count the number of people they’ve fucked on one hand who have been branded “sluts” while others have been with dozens and no one thinks they’re sluts (and they’re open about their “number”).
And hay, menz of all ages can last varying lengths of time, including under a minute. Last guy I was with was over 25 and uh….wasn’t so great with lasting much longer than a minute the first go around….second time was much better 😛 I just chalk it up to being an incredibly hot piece of ass. Think about that, OP!
Theres something about all this sex talk on here that’s getting me quite exite.. Damn!
…bam, thank you, ma’am?
Maybe the guys figure it’s the same as the way they shop for necessities… get in and get out as quickly as possible. “Ahh, OK, done. Hey, who’s got the beer?” Whereas, as we all know. women make shopping into an all-day endurance event…
if you want quality over quanity baby, then you really ought to contact me soon. i’m not one of these assholes that jump, and pump, and gone. you would be amazed what a smart person can do in the sack.
Sounds like they didn’t remember to “take one out of the chamber” before they went out.
You sound like a real catch life sucks.
…although I HAVE been amazed at a smart person in the sack before – amazed at their non-responsive, starfish-like behavior.