To others do this, or is this one more activity I do alone? I pray for death. Maybe it will be a random shot or attack in the night. Maybe it will come in the form of being hit by a car. An aneurism would be just fine too. I won’t commit suicide. I am a coward, praying to the Gods that don’t exist to free me. —Still breathing
This article appears in Oct 23-29, 2014.
Be careful what you wish for!
I fill the void by rooting for my team and drinking aggressively marketed American beer.
Look, just because your comment was banned by the Mod, there’s no reason to pray for death.
(Avatar #60: A Five Reichsmark Banknote from 1942)
dear OB, just because your prayers weren’t answered yesterday. If you keep at it, they will be answered eventually. But just in case the religious folks are right & you really are judged when you die, perhaps besides praying you should take up some activities while alive …just to up your odds of a favourable judgement in the here after….after all, you may be there for “ALL ETERNITY” (large booming godlike voice ~;)
So be kind to strangers, be even nicer to family & friends/acquaintances (so many of you can’t tell the difference) , perhaps volunteer for something… you don’t have to start by helping a leper colony, perhaps a neighbourhood clean up, or canvas for the Sally Ann , try feeding the birds, take walks in fair weather & foul … & for sure keep praying, I promise eventually this prayer will be answered, with your death, Unfortunately it may not be what you were hoping for all this time. Take Care
Seek professional help, friend.
Bitcher, I know someone who used to have repeating dreams of being cut in half by an intruder who broke into her apartment and cut her in half with a chain saw. Eventually, her life improved in many ways and the dream went away. My advice to you is to start taking control of your life. Here are some things you can do:
– walk 30 to 60 minutes every day. It will help clear your head.
– get a good night’s sleep. 8 hours. You may have to cut down on coffee.
– eat a good basic balanced diet. Stay away from processed foods and fad diets.
– try to be more sociable. Call people to go for walks, coffee, etc.
– find a hobby that you really enjoy. Take classes. Try everything you can. Eventually something will stick and you will meet lots of interesting people in the process.
– most importantly, spend less time with toxic people who drain the life out of you. It takes a while to distance yourself from them but it’s well worth it.
Hope this helps. Gotta zip off now. See ya’.
For the record, This wasn’t me…
but they’re definitely not alone.
if this is a fake bitch for shame.
if this is real, please op, talk to someone. you don’t have to live like this. and please don’t get ‘brave’ and do something. that is not bravery at all, it’s despair and desperation.
and not doing it isn’t cowardice either.
your brain can make you feel like you are struggling through mud but when you come out the other side, everything changes. it CAN happen. please, talk to someone.
I’d have to say suicide would be the cowardly act….. or maybe we’re all jealous of Kurt Cobain.
Dammit, why didn’t my link post?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CySix20g4JI
It is called passive suicidal idealization. Seek out a physician. Get on some anti anxiety and / or antidepressants and also some cognitive behavioral talk therapy. Also a good friend if one can be found. Send a note back to me if you wish to talk.