I went into Sobeys to get milk and juice, right before they closed tonight. As I walked into the aisle, past about five college boys who were congregating around started staring me up and down, as one of them said a drawn out “hiiii” sketchily. Now I know this is going to come off as a “oh you were just being sensitive, lighen up” kind of bitch. But REALLY…the whole check out process lasted about three excruciating minutes and I got at least 7 ”hi’s” in that time and a painful laugh at by all of them. I’ve never gotten heckled before this blatantly so my face was going all red and my knees started buckling. Seriously, and I was only wearing acceptable length shorts and a tank top because it was so hot! It’s not like I was dressed like a skank! I nearly dropped my milk as I walked out the door.
Really, WHY THE FUCK do guys think it’s OK to do this to girls? It’s so fucking immature and rude and low and UNMANLY…like what is the point??? I was embarrassed out of my mind to say the least. What am I supposed to do, wear a trash bag from now on?? Gimme a break.
To all guys here that have ever done this, especially probably ”LIFE SUCKS” (b/c you seem like the kind of ignorant asshole that would do something like this) FUCK YOU!!! It’s not a compliment, it’s DEGRADING. TREAT WOMEN WITH RESPECT OR I’LL TREAT YOU TO A KICK IN THE CARATID.
/rant
—embarrassed
This article appears in Aug 20-26, 2009.
They do it because they have small dicks and want to impress their friends. They’d never do it alone. Some people just need their face kicked in.
I agree. I am a guy and I hate guys who act like morons and treat girls like a piece of meat. All summer long I wait for a bus and I see these guys staring at girls like they are hungry wolves. Guys can be dumb in groups. The same goes for girls. Just let it go and move on. Not all guys are like this.
Nice post, 182. Its true – not all guys are like this.
Unmanly’s pretty much the word, they haven’t grown up yet, probably because their umbilical cords are still attached to Mommy and Daddy’s trust fund, the same Mommy and Daddy who decided that TV, video games and apathy were a great substitute for a healthy upbringing.
You pick out the leader, go up to him and start jabbing your finger in his chest and give the fucker a blast of cursewords of the like he’s never heard. Being embarrassed and shaky knees will get you nowhere. Don’t expect respect from such arseholes – DEMAND IT!!!!
Demand it or just take it from them.
How fortunate for you, OP, that the biggest ‘drag’ in your life right now is a little unwanted attention (in a safe, public place) from some stupid and probably drunk “college” boys…
People are sick and dying without proper treatment and drugs, children are hungry, families are losing their house thanks to failed conservative “trickle down” economics…2 billion people have no regular access to clean drinking water, and a billion will go to bed hungry tonight- The third world is clamouring for life-style improvements and their share of the world’s resources and there isn’t enough to go around, and the technology to save us from all this is hindered by idiots who still teach there is a “god” who will provide…
…and you’re biggest problem is being whistled at?
Just wait, in a few more years, it’ll pass, trust me…and then you can bitch about being ignored…
Why didn’t you tell them all this at the time it was happening? Start yelling at them in the store, embarassing them? It’s a great bitch, and I can sympathize but only to a point.
Grow a spine, sugar tits….
Yeah, people are sick and dying, how dare you complain about being harrassed in the supermarket when you’re just trying to buy some food! Can’t you see that all the other bitches are about worthy topics like killer meteorites and the crisis in Darfur?? Dear god the humanity!!!
That’s probably your saddest regret Frosty… That the guys no longer whistle when you walk by… LOL… Must be that saggy ass of yours, just ain’t squeeky tight enough any more…
Close Floyd, and I’m STILL mad you never gave me that reach-a-round either, although your beard-pulling has improved somewhat
BTW mall rat, it’s a trite, over-used and mundane bitch…but you’re right – it’s the type that actually gets printed in the coast because it resonates with the milque-toast readership such as yourself (clearly)…it’s politically correct (those rotten boys, how dare they!?), offends no-one, and, yes, what paper wants to panic it’s readership over serious things like killer meteorites and, erm, “hurricanes”…?
idjit
Regardless of hunger, sickness and hardships we cannot begin to imagine, these very same people (of the third world countries) will turn from these concerns when a female family member is being threatened and degraded. The fact that she got accosted in the village instead of the jungle doesn’t make their actions any less threatening. And, with the fear of being followed in the back of her mind, she still had to hold her breath as she left the store and got to the safety of her car. Just as traveling in a pack to hunt incites males to thirst for blood, so a female instinctively fears the hunting pack. Gang rape (and even murder) atrocities are not a thing of the past, nor are they reserved to the jungle. And, college boys are not exempt from the recorded lists of perpetrators.
Very (overly) dramatic spin on the bitch, HKM, but I must disagree with your assessment of world-wide machismo culture. In fact, in Latino and Carribean countries where I have lived and worked, it is a day-to-day fact that young men will whistle and hoot at passing females…that doesn’t lead to “blood, rape and “hunting” of women…far from it.
In fact, it is often in the societies where the sexuality of youth is repressed and there are no harmless “outlets” for it, where those things happen.
To me, it doesn’t sound like this female was in fear for her life, just a little embarrassed by the admittedly juvenile behaviour, in a public place, of a few young boys. IF she was in actual fear, she does her sex no favours by waiting until now to stand up for herself…
You mention people turning angry and violent when a female is “degraded and threatened”…do you think the OP should have called her brothers and uncles in for an honour killing?
This post, and your assessment of it, has all the hallmarks of a tempest in a tea cup…
Persistent whistling and hooting at females is a symptom of a culture of misogyny in which it’s understood that it’s ok to harrass and discomfit certain members of society because their concerns are seen as less than. The extreme result of this culture is rape and murder. You support this culture with your disrespectful parroting/parody of the OP’s language. I know plenty of guys who manage to contain themselves when in the presence of women, because they respect not only women, but themselves. Speaking of milquetoasts, time to stop coddling these overgrown infants and hold them to the standard of adulthood.
And hey, nice use of an insult last heard coming from the lips of my 14-year old brother in 1997. In the voice of Napoleon Dynamite I assume.
Should have said “Didn’t your mommies teach you how to talk to a lady”? nice and loud.
Yeah, I did get carried away a bit :), and I realize that the OP was talking about humiliation, rather than fear, but that doesn’t mean the germ of fear did not exist inside her, only that she didn’t share it. I mean, why didn’t she give reply to their disrespect? Why didn’t she set them straight? Chances are that it was because she felt intimidated (she feared what could come next).
I had a similar thing happen to me one night while walking down the street (but only two guys), and when one stepped in front of me and said “Hi” with a leer, I retorted, “I would have to be to fuck you.” I was trying to instantly shut them down by appearing no nonsense and fearless, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t afraid as I stepped around them (especially with the risk I took that could have incited outrage instead shock).
Just the fact that women complain often that they don’t consider it a compliment, and yet men continue to do it, says something about the intent behind it. And, the fact that men do not do it when a woman has a man with her also says something. I mean, no men I know would take it as a compliment when a group of men leer, whistle and make sexual comments to the woman beside him. So, why is she expected to suck it up?
That said, I am picking away at a novella that includes a scene about a group of hunters (fathers, uncles and brothers) who (when unable to find prey) turn their hunting blood- thirst on a woman-child from another village who had been out walking.
So much for being able to multitask = )
She probably said nothing because the instant she spoke up they’d tell her to “lighten up” or “chill out.”
You’re right, Mole Rat. They either accuse the woman of taking it the wrong way (not their way) or they get angry that she won’t play the game.
I agree, Mole Rat; they would probably attempt to write off their BS by saying that the female overreacted to their “jokes”. Seen it before and have been with women who’ve had it done (friends…).
Personally I’d love to see more women step up to assholes like that. Then again, if I saw such an incident, I’d begin making cat calls in approval or to heckle the chump.
I think it is cool that some women in the worl d get to just wear a cloak to protect their beauty. I have heard people think this is oppresive …but really it is just cloth…plus i think it would hide the kneee shaking and the dust in hot dry climates…
I lived in central america and found a place of peace with the hassles…sexual harrasment by canadian standards…By their standards a rich appreciation of the beauty of women… just a fun cheery happy way to say you love women!!…but it sounds like what happened in sobeys was a weird canadian group of boys who want to be latinos or whatever they have seen in a some movie …some other culture than what they are…cause it sounded like they weren`t really that smooth at all…wherever they were in the world.
wanna bees….in central america they say jugando la vida…translated…POSTURING…that wouldn`t be acceptable really anywhere in the world…sounds like they don`t have the moves down
I feel for the OP however. You don’t expect that in Sobey’s in Canada but I guess it happens. I have heard of singles nite at these grocery stores…maybe it was a night like that and you didn`t know…
maybe next time don`t be scared and it might not make them go into pack mentality…it might turn out different with you with a smile on your face…laughing and feeling beautiful.
good luck walk tall!
Intent makes all the difference!…Malicious or delicious…
It’s the same wherever. Just because they have a culture you find to be romantic doesn’t make it somehow more noble. Rates of domestic violence in Latin America are through the roof.
Intent makes no difference. Do you think people have the time or interest to sit around figuring out people’s intent on a case by case basis? If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it’s probably a duck.
It seems to me, that along with homophobia, sexism is one of the last forms of “acceptable” discrimination in our society. The OP was unecessarily made to feel uncomfortable and upset because some brain dead college losers needed to entertain themselves. If this same group of boys had been taunting a handicapped person or a black person whould that have been ok? What about a 12 year old girl? Personally, I would rather live in a society where none of the aforementioned situations were common, let alone “acceptable”.
You know, I feel kind of guilty that I chose to take the route I did when I responded to Frosty. Originally, I started to take the time to explain exactly (with statistics) why a woman is intimidated by a group of men making sexual overtures. But I turned from it because it is too much. I find it unbearable at this time to go to the international sites that contain such statistics. They are horrific. And reading the facts, statistics and stories that are contained there demand more of me than I am prepared to give at this time.
And Frosty, you accused me of seeing ‘a tempest in a tea cup’–trivializing my response to a very real concern felt worldwide by the other half of the human race (note the use of teacup, generally a female icon associated with pointless female chit-chat, gossiping and such), while at the same you and the guys turned the noise of a jet into a debate/battle of world politics and war.
Did she mean carotid? Yes, a kick to the neck would hurt, but it wouldn’t do any serious damage to your “caratid”. Just sayin’.
Hoof ’em in the nuts! Or a good punch/kick to the solar plexus (sp).
A well-placed kick to the neck could kill a person.
it’s interesting to note that several defenders of this OP, can only do so by exaggerating…turning what was referred to as a “drawn-out “hiii” into “leering. making sexual comments, hunting in a pack” and so on….
?que? Perhaps I missed something in the OP, but I didn’t read a report of any overtly sexual comments. If it WAS that “threatening”, the OP should have complained to the manager right away…
Wouldn’t it be great, mole and HKM, if suddenly I could become your proxy target for all of your pent-up frustration over the way some young (and old) men behave when in groups towards females?! Sorry, I only call it like I see it, and this seemed like a silly overblown bitch to me.
You don’t think girls sometimes act like this? Lol, well then you’ve never had the dubious pleasure of going onstage with your band after the male strippers on Ladies night in Gander!
Listen…I’m not defending their behaviour, other than to say that it seems to me that I’ve heard (and seen) a lot worse behaviour…and I’ve also seen females more able to stick up for themselves, especially in a public place…perhaps our culture is too protective of our young women…teaching them to be coy and polite.
I would have liked to have seen a strong Latina or European women there…it’d be the young boys crying then…!
I think Vida had the best idea, smile and move on.
Damn that Darwinian evolution that makes some guys think that girls like the “bad boys” over the good ones…and double damn that sexual selection where they, in fact, do…
😉
Hi NGF,
You have jumped from the pot (Glorifying War) into the frying pan (Jerks) here. Instead of racist shit (hate/ignorance), we have sexist shit (ignorance/hate).
“you’ve never had the dubious pleasure of going onstage with your band after the male strippers on Ladies night in Gander!”
Actually, I have accompanied a party of Newfoundland women to the P. A. male stripper show. Which is probably why the image of you and your band at their mercy caused me to burst out laughing when I read that line = ) But, on the plus side, they pay for their pleasure = )
embarassed, yeah, you should be. what makes you think i’d even waste my precious wolf time whistling at you. are you something special, do you have a shining golden cunt that says you are the best bitch in the world. no, well then get the fuck off your high horse and take what you can, because someday, when you are old and all alone, you will wish someone did pay attention to you. and why single me out, there are others here that can be just as rude. i’m a nice guy that loves to treat women nicely, not an ogre as you seem to think i am. and i know that you don’t know me personally, because if you did,you would not have added the last sentence. but if you just wanna be a bitch, so can i.
well, I started reading the comments here but when I came across, “…when a female family member is being threatened and degraded…” I thought to invite you bitches to pull your heads out from your asses. Pull hard!
OP, “rude and low and UNMANLY”… men hitting on women especially in an aggressive sense IS “manly”. There’s not even a better word for it! The word MAN is at the root of the word MANLY as a result of this simple fact… guys will do what they feel is required to get what they want. So do you, bitch. Now STFU and smile at the unlucky idiots knowing you own the hole.
Regardless of whether you think the OP was “over-reacting” the bottom line is that women (or anyone else for that matter) have the right to go to teh store without being harrassed. Who are YOU to judge whether she is just being melodramatic? were you THERE? No? Then shut the fuck up. Why is this type of harrassment any different than (for example) teenagers making fun of someone who is mentally challenged or physically disfigured? It is not. Maybe the people with Downe’s Syndrome should just learn to “get over it” as well?
Geeze, Bobby, do you go write a bitch every time somebody makes you blush? The OP owns a hole. She’d better get used to it and learn how to manage the stimuli. There’s an awful lot of ’em out there.
Kay, It’s not about management of the ‘hole’, it’s about hostile takeovers.
Indeed… best to have reasonable personal defenses in place and well practiced without having to file a fucking lawsuit over every dam thing. It’s not like you get to be a certain age and the “enemy” disappears.
Some real fucking charmers on this site I tell ya.
I am with you on lawsuits over everything. Although, it is the lawsuits that have curbed the ‘enemy’ to a degree. Now, mostly, we only get our ass commented on instead of it being handled.
But, the “reasonable personal defenses in place and well practiced” are difficult. Remember, women have observed that when they refuse to play the game, the men switch up and accuse them of misunderstanding or being oversensitive. Anger is a common reaction.
But, you are missing the point. If I want to play the mating game, I go to a club. If I don’t want to play the game, I stay away. I expect to be able to shop at the grocery store and do my job at my workplace without having to ‘manage’ my vagina.
And, we are not talking about a man showing a woman in a respectful way that he likes her. We are talking about a group of males overwhelming a lone female. Do not assume that she is being oversensitive. Grown woman have had years of experience reading the signs. Her discomfort and blush and lack of response to 5 hellos (including 2 repeats) would have been an indicator that their type of attention was unwanted and inappropriate.
HKM………………………………..I like the cut of your jib.
NGF is right. A nice kick in the onions of the most obnoxious of the bunch would have instantly solved your problem. If challenged afterwards, claim he touched you in a bad place.
Why couldn’t the OP just look at the guys and say ‘F*** Off!’ and turn her back? Problem solved!
Praise the Junebug