To the jerk who stole my water bottle from the waterfront:
What use do you really have for a USED water bottle?! What could possibly be so necessary that you STOLE a WATER BOTTLE?!
It may seem like nothing to you but I have to talk for eight or nine hours on the waterfront everyday and without a water bottle my throat gets more than hoarse; I cough up blood at night! IT LITERALLY HAD MY NAME ON IT!
You are a jerk for thinking you deserve to own whatever you want, and you are the reason I don’t trust this whole “Maritimers don’t NEED to lock their door” lies.
I hope you share it with someone and get oral herpes!—Dry-Mouthed
This article appears in Jul 22-28, 2010.
You cough up blood? You do this for an employer? You need a wage that badly?
You’ve shared it with him so, honestly, what can he expect to catch?
Maybe it was some hippie who didn’t like your littering ;D. Or a hobo.
Did you just leave it laying around somewhere? Perhaps someone thought it was garbage.
I’m with the above two comments.
people will steal even shit if you make it look nice enough. don’t believe me, find some shit, spray with gold paint, and watch, to see how many people will stop to pick it up. i did that in downtown t.o. years back, and filmed the whole thing, in 30 minutes, 75 people stopped, picked up, and then dropped it again, after they realized what it really was. i fucking used to show it to all my friends. to show how stupid ontarians were. one guy actually started to put it in his fucking coat pocket, just fucking hilarious.
or maybe he just needed to have a piss really bad, and that was there.
For years people in a house on Coburg used to celebrate Canada Day by crazy-glueing toonies to the sidewalk and stringing rubber spiders and bats in the trees then sitting on their deck, getting loaded and laughing like hell at all the suckers. It got to the point that even though I knew what was coming, I’d always pretend to fall for it just for the laugh it gave them.
very sporting of you old chap…the bear and his cronies used to put a thin baking tray in the freezer, pour in their pee, wait for it to freeze, then slide it under roommates doors
That’s good! We never actually did this in uni but it was always in the arsenal as the ultimate shaft. Fill an electric kettle or hotpot with urine, plug it in and let it boil dry. We imagined that the smell would permeate the room rendering it uninhabitable for generations. We once carried a passed out guy we didn’t like up to his room, cut a wedge shaped chunk out of his beard and used boocoo shaving cream and peanut butter to make him look like a wedding cake. I know, we made the gangbangers from “Beat It” like like – a bunch of dancers >: )
I always hated the forgotten-in-the-door keys upside down in a clear beer cup full-o-urine.
wow…the bear didn’t go to university, he lived with spacktards^^^
“I hope you share it with someone and get oral herpes!”
Well technically the person shared it, with you. So are you saying the herpes are yours?
Just because it’s missing doesn’t mean someone stole it. Maybe you lost it. Now shut up and fork over the 5 dollars for a new one. Jackass.
If you leave something unsupervised, expect people to fuck with it or steal it. If it was a plastic bottle, someone wanted to recycle it and you shouldn’t be surprised. If it was a nalgene or stainless steel bottle, then maybe you should keep it with you? I don’t get my bicycle, water bottle, backpack, etc. stolen in Halifax because I *GASP* keep my eye on it and keep it away from people!