I don’t knock anyone for having children, that’s their choice. But why does everything seem to revolve around them? Days off for kids, bring your kid to work and maternal/paternal leave. I feel judged by those who have kids because I don’t, like everything they do is so important because they have kids. They make comments like “why are you tired…you don’t have kids” or “well, we’re busy we have kids…” Like no one else can have if they don’t have kids. So many of them are so closed minded and think that the world revolves around them…narcissitic. Not all parents but many are like this. I pay taxes, do my job well, am a good citizen and its my choice if I don’t have kids. And why are all the activities revolved around people with kids…maybe just once adults would like to do some thing without the little ones around. I don’t judge people for having them, why judge me for not? —Childless
This article appears in Nov 15-21, 2012.
Well! Finally you showed up (The Coast Bitch releasing-person)! Asleep? Closing things down?
HAHAHA! Laugh with me OB!
Those with kids have no life, let alone a sex life! Their money is spent on kid crap that will get broken, given away or stolen.
There is no return on a kid; but there is on a saving account / an RRSP / an investment!
Throw some cash at your nieces & nephews – enough to ensure they will help you out when you need them and go on vacation with me. I spent 10 days in a luxury hotel, in Europe.
I have no debt and I’m a favourite uncle!
well said op, we have one child and i vividly remember a mother saying to me” you’re lucky you only have one child to deal with” what the feck does luck have to with it
You brain is backwards, you should get that checked out…
-Parents who devote their time and effort towards their kids are Narcissistic?
-Most activities are geared towards people with kids? Oh, really? Explain
-How does paying your taxes and doing your job relate to people who decide to have kids?
I could go on, but your argument is… childish and close minded. So, why are you upset, OB? You don’t have kids…
a question keptin, have you been around parents lately? she did say some parents, i’ve seen it all. ama
I have, and I won’t deny that parents usually exhibit the usual parental symptoms (tiredness, cranky, jealousy of non-parents freedom). I just found the OB irritating, and not a lot of facts provided. I don’t see how “…everything seems to revolve around them…” or how they’re narcissistic.
I guess I’ve just never witness this level of judgement that the OB refers to.
Nightclubs and bars arn’t for kids. The liquor stores and street drugs arn’t for kids either. They’re missing out more then you think.
Amen OP! A-fuckin-men!
OB, your complaints are unfounded for the same reason that this is a stupid comment: “There is no return on a kid; but there is on a saving account / an RRSP / an investment!”
If everyone thought like this, then no one would have children. Then there would be no workers and the value of capital (or investments) would be zero, so there would be no return on financial investments.
In general the social return to children is larger than the private return (unless, on average, kids become socially destructive criminals). If I have a kid, that kid grows up to become a worker, which makes capital more productive, increasing the rate of return on savings. Even though my decision to have a child makes capital more productive, I don’t reap that reward. Instead, the person who invests their savings in financial assets rather than children benefits from higher investment income. The purely selfish parent indirectly benefits the financial investors because their children eventually complement the capital stock generated by non-parent investors. There exists an economic mutualism, if you will, between parents and non-parents.
Unfortunately, since the private return on children is lower than the social return, I have fewer children. This lowers rate of return on financial assets, so investment income is lower. Thus, I have fewer children, and you have less income, than would otherwise be the case if I was appropriately compensated for having children. In general, if non-parents and parents could costlessly trade, then non-parents would rationally offer parents part of their investment income in exchange for parents having more children. Unfortunately it’s unethical to write up contracts that legally bind people to have children. Therefore, the government acts as a low cost intermediary by taxing non-parents and making transfers to parents in the form of child tax credits, parental leave, and take your kid to work days.
And there you have it: a reason for why non-parents (in my model, investors) ought to make in-kind or financial transfers to parents.
PS: I don’t have children, and I hate self-absorbed parents. That said, I see the value in people having children. And I see the rationale in accommodating parents.
op, make an effort to find some single friends. once people become parents they really should spend more time with their children than not. sounds like you are missing your old friends, but that’s your issue, and yours to fix. don’t expect them to want to do the same old things, with you, that they did before. life moves on.
I can understand your anger towards parents “judging” you for not having kids, as they do not have the right to make assumptions about your life choices. But you should watch your choice of words, you say you don’t judge people who have kids, yet you call them “narcissistic” and “close minded”…your words not mine. And PLEASE correct me if i am wrong, but are you saying that maternal/parental leave is unnecessary? I don’t know about you, but after delivering an 8 pound baby the last thing i want to do is go back to work the next day! As a parent, and out of biological nature, you need to take time off to care for the child, feed it, clean it, and LOVE it, and to recover yourself. That time off is necessary, the parents aren’t going to Cuba and taking a break, they are up at all hours of the night and day caring for the child. Just take a look at your parents, what did they do when you were born? I hope they took the time and energy to care for you, they do that for 18+ years! Yes some parents can be cranky and a bit selfish, but seriously i would be too if i had to deal with all that kid stuff, and i would just want the world to make it easier to take of a child. As it was once said “It takes a village to raise a child”, and so that is why these options are available to parents to utilize in order to make the life of a child more beneficial. Sure it may not make sense to the untrained eye, but look a little deeper and there really is some method to all this madness:P
Some other already posted what crossed my mind on this one. So do yourself a favor op, get some childless friends or friends with kids that are more independant. Don’t be hating on the ones who have young ones. Kids have a way of taking over your life till the kid becomes more indendant.
Don’t despair OP. People refraining from having children are heroes in my eyes. We have seven billion people on this planet, a continuing population explosion will cause untold misery for an ever increasing chunk of the population as we simply don’t have the resources to accommodate all these people.
TF it’s time to unleash our deadly sterility plague into the water system.
uh…you have it right? it’s your turn to carry the test tubes…
Damn I knew I forgot soemthing!! Back to the lab.
even vampires practise non-breeder sex
https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hph…
I do not have children and that’s by choice. I’ve been happily married for 20 years we are content. I don’t judge people that have kids and I would expect the same from them. What gets me is some people I work with automatically think they should get priority on vacation scheduling especially around the holidays just because they have kids. Some of my coworkers have the idea that just because I don’t have kids I should be made to work in their place. Well just because I don’t have kids doesn’t mean I don’t have a family and a life. I did confront one of them and asked them to tell me why I should think their time off was any more important than mine…. only to get silence in return. To each their own and more power to those that choose to raise kids….just don’t take it out us DINKS if you are second guessing your life choice.
I wouldn’t say that parents focused on their kids are ‘narcissistic’ as a true narcissist would be focused on themselves and not have their lives revolving around their kids.
That being said, there are some parents out there who OMFG I can’t stand being around because everything is about their kid.
This blog helps deal with those people: http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/
It’s good for a laugh.
And yes, those of us who don’t have kids are certainly entitled to buy ourselves shit, take days off of work and be tired. Just ignore the mom-bies and move on, OB.
I’ve got 2 kids. 1 of whom is adopted. I take amazing care of them, but my life doesn’t revolve around them. I’m not one of those parents that go on and on about their kids etc.
My advice to you O.P. is to get cooler friends/don’t be so butthurt over the stupid comments of co-workers.
Mutual Respect – happens to me all the time. I recorded the extra hours I put in during 6 months for this very reason and went into a meeting and presented it to my boss. Complete silence and the rules are much more stringent now.