Learn how to fucking park already!
How many times do I have to come home to find that the rear end of some asshole’s car has partially blocked my driveway. No big deal – if my driveway was wide – but we live in the CITY and our driveway is very narrow. So you blocking half of it makes it a huge pain in the ass to pull in.
Yes, at times it’s still possible to get in but we OWN the house and pay property taxes… so that we can use OUR driveway whenever we feel like it.
And while I’m on it, what the fuck is up with lazy/ignorant douche-bags parking on the wrong side of the street?
There is PLENTY of legal parking on one side of the street (the same side as my house) and you’re free to park there.
Normally I wouldn’t give a shit, but by parking on the other side I have practically zero room to maneuver into backing down my driveway.
What’s that you say? Why not just pull in instead? I choose to back down my driveway so I can actually see approaching cars and pedestrians on the sidewalk and avoid hitting them when I pull out.
And before anyone points out that I drive when I could use our city’s public transit system – no I can’t. I have to work, and there is currently no public transit to where I work.
And you, Mr. Fucktard-in-the-big-truck-1/2-a-metre-from-the-curb, that glared at me last night when I gave a friendly couple of honks to let you know I needed you to move your truck so I could pull into my driveway – Fuck off and read the sign. —Just needed to get that off my chest
This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2010.
We’re in Canada, it’s M-A-N-O-E-U-V-R-E !
don’t make me whip out a bitch about creeping americanization
Ditch the car. You would not believe how liberating it is. Seriously.
I turned down a perfectly good job because the employer chose to locate several miles outside bus service. The routes have since expanded and that employer is now viable, but I have since found a better job in walking distance.
Don’t let your employer determine your lifestyle.
Couldn’t you have the vehicles blocking your driveway towed at their expense?
Also oldhand: not everyone has the luxury of turning down job offers, unfortunately.
There is no permanent solution to your dilemma, unless you want to move out to the country, but then you’d have a different set of problems to cope with.
My friend, we are surrounded and about to be inundated by a rising tide of ignorance, laziness and outright stupidity. Somewhere along the line adherents of the Ayn Rand cult managed to have self-interest enshrined as a virtue in our society leading to an epidemic of the type of behaviour you describe. The future of civilized life lies in doubt.
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality. No not THAT key which would work just as well I suppose apart from being illegal and giving the authorities a reason to round you up and put you in shackles. No I’m talking about the other key . . .
Pour yourself a large tumbler of single malt scotch. Cover the tumbler with plastic wrap. Poke a hole in the plastic wrap and sip the scotch but not too slowly. Repeat as necessary.
This will help you cope with the driveway problem by putting a legal smile on your face.
Have offending vehicle towed, take movie of said event, leave copy of movie in the place of towed vehicle, laugh your arse of when bemused driver returns.
This can be done as you sip booze as above.
OR – get tire iron and bash out windows and lights of offending vehicle.
aah mr. farmer single malt…mmm. the solution for many of the world’s ills
OP needs to make copies of this:
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/0…
nice one newt
these beeches are lame-o-rama 🙂
well coburg must have some bitchworthy subjects. giv er martym…rawk
What I don’t like are the people who have driveways and yet park on the street. Where’s the logic in that? Tow trucks should be out in force!
omg paingirl where would I start this town is so full of inbred hillbilly dumbasses stuck in their white bread utopian freak world; other than that it’s a lovely little town 🙂
“white bread utopian freak world” teehee…that’s what the commons will resemble tonight. yeehaw
why what’s “shak’n” at the commons ?
i bewieve it’s kevin costner, george canyon and t’others…other bitches may know more than moi
Country is absolutely the Special Olympics of music. (Rap is exempt, not being music at all but rather a combination of self-induced belches mixed with potty-mouthed temper tantrums and vandalism . Hey Scoop Doggy Poo – who paid for those records you’re scratching anyhow?)
Still, I enjoy country for it’s capacity to piss people off and while I am generally loathe to seek life lessons from song lyrics – “Whiskey for my men and beer for my horses” are words to live by
there ya be admiral, how is barrington st. today? we listen to hank williams sr. at the shop can’t beat lyrics like “my son calls another man daddy” sob
OOO WEE is they gonna have both kinds of music , country and western ? just heard a cw tune that went “she’s my little whiskey girl” wtf does that mean billy-bob umm she brings you whiskey ? you need whisky before you ahem %#@*& her 🙂
The weather is loverly, the turistas polite and the skells in hiding. I’m rocking some Cash tunes by artistes other than l’homme en noir and knocking back an iced mocha. Laid back Saturday. Last week we had a Vanilla Ice lookalike replete with sideways ball cap, beater and tattooed arms blame us for ruining his life because we wouldn’t buy the book he had clearly just stolen from the library. Yeah right pally how much rock can you buy for 75cents?
Howze tings in your hood, Painey?
lots of nice folks, a few toothless sketchers and a boxer and a greyhound. roooo. we have greys at victoria park…lots of interesting folks down that-a-way. not quite as dramatic as tommy lee jones in the park is mine but some of them take exception to us peoples in their hood. oh well the scottish poet will protect us…rawk
@martym
Whiskey Girl – Toby Keith
Chorus:
She ain’t in to wine and roses
Beer just makes her turn up her nose and
She can’t stand the thought of sippin champagne
No Cuervo Gold margaritas
Just ain’t enough good burn in tequila
She needs somethin’ with a little more edge
And a little more pain
She’s my little whiskey girl, she’s my little whiskey girl
My ragged on the edges girl, ah but I like em rough.
My sentiments exactly.
right than thanky ufb ; hmm wonder if he has to pay royalties to Cuervo tequila ? 🙂
This drives me crazy too! I live on Windsor and people always feel the need to park right in front of my driveway, when there is several other spots on this part of the street to park that are not in front of someone’s driveway. I don’t get it. When I lived in Dartmouth, it was really annoying there too. People would park on the other side of the street but still aligned with my driveway so it took so much maneuvering to get out. And what’s with people who park on blind curves!?! I see this every single day!! And when people decided to park directly across from a car on the other side of the road, making it impossible for two cars to be able to pass through. People are so inconsiderate.
put this on the curve in front of your driveway, but don’t forget to move it when you are driving in/out
http://www.indosoftcorporation.com/gifs/sp…
Cobourg is a lovely little town. “Dwtn” is very cute. The beach and Vic park are nice areas for a small place.
Some friends of mine own Happy Gilmores. I haven’t talked to them in quite some time, so I hope it’s still up and running. They are fantastic people, and the wings were awesome.
omfg I know Cindy and Brie (not well) I think they’re doing alright and yea their wings are awesome ; dang it’s a small world 🙂
When I lived in Buttfuck, NS, I used to live by a church and people were ALWAYS parking in our driveway. So we started parking in front of the driveway blocking them in.
They’d get SUPER pissed. It was great.
The church was so close to my house it looked like the house belonged to the church and people would think they had carte blanche to park in our driveway and even just walk right into our house looking for the minister. Once I got out of the shower, had a towel on and found someone randomly trying to get into my house. The door was open but the screen door was locked (always was) so no one would walk in and when they saw me they got all snitty with me. That’s after they almost tore the door off trying to open it.
Jerks deserved having their cars blocked in for the attitude they used to throw at us when they saw us parking in our own driveway (we were always accommodating when they needed to park a car there to get in the side door for functions so it’s not like we were assholes to them!) or when they were trying to get into our house and being told [nicely] to scram.
It’s an itsy-bitsy world. 🙂
Cindy and her husband, Lincoln, were my father’s next door neighbours. I didn’t meet them until he passed away in Sept 2007. They had just bought the house three months before, so I’d never met them on any of my previous visits to Cobourg. I spent a lot of time at his home in the 2 years after his death, settling the estate. I got to know them quite well, and I still write letters and send photos, etc.
I’m very happy to know that HG is still open for business. I know that most bars/restaurants that were in that spot didn’t survive for too long. The motel “guests” were the problem I think.
yea the place has gone through alot of owners (I grew up right around the corner from the building) and yea the buildings owner is quite a “character” and thus other “characters” tend to congregate in his sketchy lodgings 🙂 Cindy is a sweety