What a horrible thing to do to a child. Having the child call his father by his first name, moving so father doesn’t know where you are with child, severely limiting and obstructing father and child spending time together, having child call your boyfriend “Daddy”. That is just miserable and cruel. You married the guy and were in love, you had a child with him, you ran around and got caught. There should be repercussions for people who do this.. but sadly… there is only so much a court can do… and it is really up to the alienating parent to cease. You are a miserable person and you should be ashamed of yourself. It seems to be and should be listed as child abuse. — Alienated
This article appears in Aug 29 – Sep 4, 2013.
sounds like “dad” isn’t doing a whole lot about it….
In most cases “dad” can’t do anything about it. He can take her to court all he wants but typically a judge gives the kid to mom and make their orders but “mom” doesn’t abide with them, and then the revolving door starts. In many cases the police won’t intervene because it is a civil matter, not a criminal one. What I’d love to see happen is that the party not abiding by the orders, mom or dad, should be doing jail time, even if it is only on weekends. maybe that might smarten them all up.
How can “dad” do anything about this situation? Pretty obvious from the bitch that “mom” is making even seeing the child as difficult as possible…Any suggestion on what he should be doing, Frenchie? Because I can’t really think of a way to FORCE someone to stop calling her latest peen-buddy the father of her child. Please write back.
I loathe these situations.
Some women should have their vaginas crazy-glued shut before having children and using them as pawns and cash cows.
If you want kids, they need to be put first, not some asshole stranger with a woody for Momma. A child should be a parent’s no. #1 priority and that includes not inflicting Daddy after Daddy on the poor little mite.
Dad has gone to court, has interim agreement in place but to no avail. The woman constantly misinterprets the order and splits hairs. One great example is from an older court order which was worded “The mother must advise the father of her present address and contact phone numbers.” Mother did indeed provided her “present address and phone numbers” then promptly moved twice and changed numbers twice then claims “the order clearly says “present” address and number… that was on the day the order was written. The order says nothing about “future address or contact numbers”. So the revolving door of family court starts. Four months wait to get a date in court, try to find the mother to have her served, she doesn’t show up and claims illness via her legal aid lawyer, another date is scheduled several months down the road, the father is more alienated from the son, and the list goes on and on. Absolutely cruel and miserable… AND LEGAL!!! Anyways… this is just one example of an extensive list of alienating behavior… and sadly the father is helpless in these types of situations. Parental Alienation should be a crime.
I tend to agree with Bro Tim. If Family Court sets orders for parental privileges then breaking those orders should have repercussions maybe even jailtime. The time missed with a child can’t be recouped.
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For the record, this can also happen to the mom. Trust me, I know.
True, but in the vast majority of cases, it’s the dad (except the douche deadbeat ones) that screwed out of seeing and being with their kids.
Welcome back Persevere,it’s been a while.
Unfortunately for the child ,in a lot of cases both parents need to grow the hell up.
There’s gotta be more to the story than she ran around on you and the marriage ended then alienated you for no reason. I think you did something that caused your wife’s estrangement. If not, you should have equal visitation rights and time with your child… a chance to bond with many opportunities for him/her to call you daddy. Sounds to me like you have perhaps chosen to be an absent father and the alienation is a result of that choice.
No Fool, my logical self and the part of me that likes to think people always treat people as they should be treated would like to agree with you, but my experienced self cannot. Parental Alienation is not always the fault of the alienated parent – the back story isn’t always one that leads to a conclusion that the alienated parent deserves to be alienated. Parental Alienation can be achieved in may ways – some blatant, some subtle – but the end result is still the same, no relationship or a very difficult relationship with your children. It’s not fun and if achieved through subtle, clever manipulation, it’s difficult or impossible to prove, and court action is an exercise in futility and financial hardship. Equal parenting time is likely what a court would award, but when put into practice that equal parenting time can create a life that is more stressful and difficult for the children caught in the middle. When one or both parents can’t seem to get over the need to win, the need to be right, the need to be in control, the need to look like a saint in the eyes of others … the children lose. Every time.
700+ days since me – my family..aunts uncles-cousins…grandparents. and great grandmother have seen our then 10 year old boy who is now 12. It all ended suddenly. but the writing was on the walls years before. My ex told me she would tell our son how awful a man I am and was to her. She was very bitter and upset because I could not stay with her craziness anymore. I was being blamed for everything that was wrong with her. He illnesses. He lack of work. Her life. her finances…etc. Then she said I was having affairs.
I had enough. We separated and for 7 years we live as best as we could apart. We had 50/50 shared custody. She however took the term “primary residence” as to mean she made all the decisions in my sons life and had full control.
Skip ahead 7 yrs and she finally finds someone who thinks she is right. He moves in with her and within 2 days of that needs to meet with me to discuss things to me about my son. he also ” wanted to determine my thought process. and based on my answers would determine his next move” !!
Well that didn’t work out so well for him.I told him it wasn’t his place to talk to me about my son. I t was ,my sons mom or her family who I know. Not this bozo.
2 weeks later the seeds were planted long before, but a confrontation was set up to prevent me from seeing my son on a scheduled night. I was in my vehicle on the street waiting for my son who know i was there to come out. He said he would. But after 8 mins he wasn’t. I remained in my vehicle. The along comes the ex’s bf to deal with me. He got into my vehicle and after I screamed at him to get it out he wouldn’t. I got out and waited behind the vehicle. He finally got out and came towards me. I didn’t want a confrontation with this moron in front of my exs home with my son there. I got back into my vehicle and drove away to the end of the short street. He tried to jump back in as I drove. When I returned he was standing in the middle of the road freaking out. That is when he told me i tried to run him over with my vehicle and he was calling the cops. When he caked away, my ex brought my son out to witness that and that was the last time i heard or saw him again. Cops couldn’t do anything. But child services was why my ex wanted the cops to come. once cops come to a home an investigation can be started. It takes 6-8 weeks.
I participated immediately in the investigation. In the end nothing was charged or ordered against me. However it was noted that my ex’s BF and I stay apart. And that my son has now witnessed something that has caused him great anxiety. and that he should get in to see a counsellor.
That took 5 months for the ex to do that. She wouldn’t allow me to do it.
Since then my son was removed from his family, his after school sitter, his basketball team, his cousins, his grandparents. his family doctor. And after 2 counsellors he has been with the last one 14 months and she is no further ahead than the day he walked in there.
This has all been controlled by an evil vindictive mom (ex) – and her equally evil boyfriend. He is now in control of the household and fields all calls made by my family. All are told to FUCK off or worse. he tells my sons counsin who is his best friend that the boys father is a child abuser and that he is really mean and never ever call there again or else.
Yes it has been to court. Court orders by ex have not been followed. It is a mess. The judge hasn’t heard anything close to what has gone on here. It just keeps getting put off and delayed. Ex fired her first lawyer, and the second lawyer wasnt available for the first trial we had set up 12 months ago Since then, still nothing. The first counsellor was fired by ex because she dind’t like the direction the counsellor was going. All this time adds up to program the child to an age where the child can make his won mind up.
So ya we know what is going on.We are living it everyday. i am confident that someday my son will know the truth about what an awful thing his mother her supporters, and most of all the man she is now living with have done to a vulnerable young soul who had such a happy life with me and his fa,ily until he was convinced that was not possible or true.