Out of touch

Jhey, i am not quite sure about the people you hang out with, but i can tell you this: not everyone walks away from a person or situation just because they don’t get what they want; those that do are not crazy, but they are unkind and have poor ego development,imo. That being said,there are times when, no matter how much you love someone, you have to walk away.

I seldom walk away from people in my life, but the few times i have i have done so because i have felt greatly disrespected–for example, when someone calls themselves my friend and then withdraws their support without provocation, especially when times are rough; or when someone tells me they want to spend time with me but then treat me like i am invisible; or when someone says they are my friend, but reveal that they have been using me to advance a hidden personal agenda. OPs post seems to have hit a nerve with you jhey–sorry if you have had some hurtful experiences, but your view here is very narrow. I am actually very kind and open-minded, but I am nobody’s doormat. I am also very good at apologizing for hurting someone, even when my feelings are valid–i never apologize unless i truly mean it and i am usually interested in talking to the person when my anger subsides and i am able to talk in a reasonable manner–maybe the person that hurt OP felt extremely hurt or used….maybe they want to talk it out with OP but OP is not ready or would prefer leveling passive-aggressive crap in public anonymous forums, who knows….maybe a lot of things–none i have mentioned or read on this post/thread are “crazy”, but some of those things show a real lack of maturity and kindness.

You and OP may not realize, but oft times anger is a measure of the pain one person feels the other has caused them, especially if the anger is coming from a person who is usually kind. Perhaps you and the OP might think about why you both think it is ok to denigrate someone, rather than try to understand them or meet them halfway—i am not trying to offend you jhey, but that is how this post and your reaction came off. I would also encourage both the OP and yourself to think about whether or not whoever it is you are both so pissed at is really the source of all of your anger, or if maybe you and the OP are a bit angry at yourselves for your roles in each of your respective situations.

So no, jhey, I don’t think the word “crazy” is appropriate in this situation; but i do think that a lot of people have a hard time sorting out who their real friends are (i.e. who genuinely cares about them)–not really a big surprise considering all the nooks and crannies that the information age seems to have created…lotsa places for people to hide their agendas and their shitty behaviour, and their are oodles of posers out there too.

Be careful, things are not always what they seem, and the world is filled with grey spaces. Static either/or perceptions are a dangerous thing, and sticking to taht type of dry binary perspective will most likely really make you crazy.

That’s my two cents–hope it helps and i really hope you and the OP see better days soon.

Take care,

SheSang

Jhey, it sounds to me like you are talking about people with addictions issues–their behaviours and perceptions are sometimes crazy, but that is usually state-dependent, or if not, related to prolongued abuse. You really do sound angry, otherwise why would you be so assuming about whomever OP is referring to–seems very unhelpful to OP, and most especially unkind towards their person…..if you really think a person has the issues you speak of, then responses like your initial one on this post can be very damaging to the people and to the situation at hand–i have a lot of experience dealing with this sort of thing. You will probably assume i am an ex-addict, but i am not–i think i just may have more life experience in this case, on personal and professional levels; and it would be good for you to understand that not everyone who ‘faces the music’, as you say, are truthful, mature, or your friend–sometimes people walk away from others because they discover alternative agendas are at work and actually understand that the people involved need to discover who’s who for themselves…make their own decisions as opposed to being forced into discussions they are not ready to have. We all mature at our own pace, and we all have our unique ways that inform our behaviour…jhey, it might be a good idea to avoid posts like this if you can’t give a balanced perspective. Your uninformed assumptions of some person whom you probably don’t even know seem way more hurtful than backing off of someone does–even if it happens for less than sensible reasons. You may not realize that you are probably pushing buttons that are not for you to push, and that can do a lot of damage, especially to people in such dire straits as you describe. Things are rarely what they seem these days.