We haven’t been together long, but everything about our relationship has been so much, so fast. I don’t want it to stop, I don’t want it to slow down. We’re talking about getting married and building a house, I want so badly to tell anyone who will listen that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you but we’ve agreed to keep it to ourselves for now because we’re not prepared to answer the when and where questions. So this is me appeasing the crazy-girl part of me that wants to scream it from the rooftops. We’re getting married! —Don’t Tell Anyone I Told You, Halifax
This article appears in Jul 12-18, 2012.
congrats on the divorce!
better start saving for it… it’s pricey.
at least it’s gonna feel good getting half his stuff…
you’ll see.
“we’ve agreed to keep it to ourselves for now because we’re not prepared to answer the when and where questions.”
RED FLAG.
Lemmie guess, that was his brilliant idea.
You should slow down, think about it a bit maybe talk to friends and family about the “when” and “where”.
If there is something about the when and the where that one or both of you are not proud of, and you’re truly meant to be together and will be together … I think it’s all the more reason to get the when and where out in the open to the level that’s appropriate to discuss with friends and family … because the when and the where isn’t going to change. If people love you both and aren’t judging you … they’ll get over the when and where shock.
If they still have a problem with it … well then I guess you have some thinking to do about what role you allow those people to have in your life … no one likes to be judged or told what to do by others who think they know how you should live your life. They may be right … but they should still respect that it’s your life you’re living and not theirs.
If you do decide to keep it quiet … I’d want to be pretty darn sure I understand and am okay with the full motivation for keeping the secret (and maybe you do and you are, I don’t know) before moving on in life with someone who was so keen on keeping secrets in the beginning.
But … stepping back from the secret … I do wish you well and hope your love works out for both of you … today, and tomorrow and every tomorrow after that. My innate nature is that of a realist … but when it comes to love, I’m a bit on the optimistic side of realism and believe in taking some risk … maybe I’m a romantic too.
“Every girl dreams of a white wedding” and all that, why wont he let you tell anyone? Why all the secrecy? Seems like he has something to hide that he doesn’t want you to know, yet until the knot is tied … Don’t do it. He’s probably a foreigner looking for a green-card or a broke ass with no assets & a mountain of debt.