So Friday night I got off work around 9, walked up to Gottingen Street to get a stamp for a certain show before the line got too long. So with wristband on that I had purchased for this certain festival, dead sober, no line-up, I did not think this was going to be a problem. I handed my ID to the one of the bouncers and she says “Ummm I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this ID already tonight and this doesn’t look like you.” Perhaps because I was there last night and YOU let me in? No? So she hands my ID to the other bouncer. Nope, he says, doesn’t look like me. My photo looks pretty different as I have a different hair colour/style/and my skin is slightly darker because, well, I was 17 then. However, I still have the same face (duh) and have every piece of ID in my wallet that I could possibly have—SIN card, student ID, paystubs, health card, visa, insurance card…I even had some mail in my bag. My cell phone has my name in it. I explain that I had just gotten off work from a restaurant and I have some food to show for it. After I say that my cell phone would have proof of my identity he says “Wait—do you have any pictures of yourself on there?”
Laughing at how ridiculous this is I take out my phone and show him some pictures only for him to say “Nope…this just doesn’t look like the same person.” After THREE times of them saying sorry and turning me away, then asking me to cover up half my face while saying “the eyes are the same! but…” questioning me, telling me that I AM NOT ME, and half an hour of my time, the male bouncer finally decides to “swallow his pride” and let me in. Oh thank you sir! Also big thanks to the first bouncer adding the comment that she was almost positive she saw my picture earlier. Obviously you’re not positive enough my dear because a) you’re wrong and b) you thought I was me last night. Don’t waste my time with your little game of trying to figure out if I am lying to you! Take your power trips out on some drunk stumbling idiot but not on some innocent gal that just wants to go see a show. YES guys, you caught me, this was my elaborate plan to get into a show at 9:30 and pull the wool over your eyes. —Don’t Quit Your Day Job
This article appears in Oct 18-24, 2012.
sounds like they were having a laugh, at your expense
my best advice, is to get a new i.d., or get it updated at least once every couple years. driver’s licences are the worst fucking pictures i can think of. goddamn, mine looks like an arab.
A she-bouncer? I refuse to believe it. Girls can’t break up fights n shit. They’ll just stand there and text about dumb shit like high heels and hair extensions. It was probably a stupid hippy.
that’s some crappy bait, mr fat
Not baiting anybody. The shit is true. Female bouncers are the worst.
Lol, @ Biscuit.
So was it you OP or were they right?
“my skin is slightly darker because, well, I was 17 then”
I didn’t know that skin got darker as you got older. Maybe colour changing doesn’t run in my family because my grandma isn’t black yet.
@Biscuit I never saw a female bouncer before.I suppose,if females can fight on front lines in a war…..Shit I need to get a GD life. 🙁 :(…
I just got a new ID a few months ago because I thought I’d lost mine. I took care to do my hair and makeup very nicely and remembered not to smile (or smile then change my mind and end up sneering like my last ID) and when I was handed my card I looked like a greasy bloated 55 year old woman. I wish they still gave you the option of checking the picture first, they used to give you 3 tries didn’t they? Anyway I found my old ID and I’ll be practicing my mug shot in the mirror before I go next time!
Yeah… if your picture doesn’t look like you and you say it doesn’t look like you and they say it doesn’t look like you, THEN IT DOESN’T LOOK LIKE YOU! Get an updated ID. Fucking dummy!
Shut up, British cigarette.
i’m with pg, sounds like they were yanking your leg. ‘cover up part of your face’ ??? looking at pics on your cell phone? and hey, what was the significance of the food?
anyhoo, if this is the most you have to bitch about in your life, gad.
i’m with meaty on this one.
Get a new photo taken – you’re SUPPOSED to when you change something significant about your physical appearance anyway. That’s what they TELL you in english that was at least pretty clear to me….
obviously it was probably you because you had all your plastic vitals to back it up. But avoid the hassle and update your picture. Nao.