Dear Coworker,
It has now been a year of obvious hints and gagging noises while you are around and you still smell like a fucking dog (and sometimes cat urine). You are also still leaving your foot long pubes on the toilet seat, even after we put up a sign. You need a Calgon bath fast! And, while you’re out buying your Calgon feel free to pick up some Tide and a pair of clippers.
OK?
—Maggie
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2010.
Hahaha, I want to know how a sign about foot long pubes reads, exactly.
Calgon… ancient Chinese secret.
wow, call guinness book of records! I don’t think they have a foot long pube on file!
that would be more impressive than seeing the 14 courics, all in one piece.
Betcha that’s the broad who’s been dropping her footlong twat fuzz all over the toilets at work. If I want to clean my teeth, I’ll use floss, thanks.
I wonder if this is the same person who lives in my building:
Never seems to bathe, wash or shower. (“Cleanliness is a bourgoise social construct . . . others should just adapt to our natural smells . . . blah, blah, blah.”)
Greasy hair always in messy braids, and crooked teeth—which I could overlook if she actually brushed them once in a while.
ALWAYS likes to GET REAL CLOSE when she talks to you and then act all mystified and offended when people quickly back away due to the overpowering odour. (“People act so stuck up in this building! Why IS that?”) Her husband is even worse.
I have heard that they are on notice and will be evicted from the building if they don’t deal with the overwhelming stench that eminates from their filthy apartment.
Oh, and both are academics, with university jobs, so it’s not as if they are disabled in some way and need assistance with daily living. They both know better and they do all this on purpose. I pity their poor students.
please tell us what the sign says
“Cleanliness is a bourgoise social construct . . . others should just adapt to our natural smells . . . blah, blah, blah.”
Fucking dirty hippies. Even my cat washes himself.
Even my goddamn flea circus showers at least once a week. With very tiny towels.
Ah ha ha ha. “With very tiny towels.”
That’s great. Heart.
With very tiny towels who scream: ‘WANNA GET HIGH?’
So . . . whaddaya think?
Is it OK to just TELL these people how bad they smell or what? Has anyone ever done that?
Or do we just suffer in silence and hope they figure out that they are causing these problems?
At work, shouldn’t the boss have some right/responsibility to address this as a “workplace” issue?
What IS the etiquette around this anyway?
I love the “they don’t get the hint”. Fuck the hint and go up and tell them they stink.
RJ…I think a boss ultimately has a responsibility to deal with such complaints if the employees can’t fix it at that level. Bro Tim is right…if hints and tact aren’t working, then you can come right out and say it. You can still be as polite as possible about it though. It’s likely to be an embarrassing situation for the person involved and they are likely to get defensive if it’s not handled properly. As a boss you can sit them down and say “I’ve received several complaints…blah blah blah, and we need to find a resolution to this situation.”
I had a high school teacher like this. He never showered, as he believed that “the body naturally cleanses itself”. Ha! Tell that to my watering eyes and burning nostrils….
It was so foul, walking into his classroom you would literally hit a wall of stench. I know a few earthy, infrequently-bathed types, and it’s rare that I find their odours offensive (provided they do actually bathe at some point), but this guy was truly horrendous. We used to leave soap and deodorant on his desk as a hint, but it only ever got us lectures in his bizarre anti-bathing philosophy, so we just gave up.
If I were the principal: “You smell like a bum living on the streets and you are going to be one if you don’t start showering everyday.” And I would do that over the school intercom too.
– Internet Tough Miles.
foot long pubes, is this a female you talking about, or chewbacca. either way,send her my way, i am a fucking animal in the sack i hear, growllllllll.
You’re like a warthog in the sack???
I just hope he gets laid soon so he’ll shut up about it.
Hell, I’ll fuck him if it keeps him from trolling LTWWB for dates.
sorry miles, but you just ain’t my type. and who says i’m actually trolling. maybe i’m just fucking with your heads. and maybe, just maybe, if someone did bite, i’d probly say no anyway. chill the fuck out people. we all need a laugh at times, right ttfn.
I’m not really bothered anyway…just goofing around…but you and Qpmz both seem pretty horny lately
I think Kay might have a suggestion or two on this delicate matter?
Why?
Because you’re an idiot and usually have inane comments to make about every post. Even if its about Alberta beef or Japanese sumo you’ll still find something about NS or Haligonians to cunt about.
And this reminds me of putting a sign up in a Purdy’s Wharf washroom once about how a floor full of grown, professional men are somehow unable to flush a toilet. It got torn down but was replaced very quickly and with extra tape.
Yea really – grow some balls is right ! Tell stinky he /she fuckin stinks . And to wash for fucksakes. They stink – they’re offensive and should be told so. Christ , I work with construction guys and girls that don’t stink that back after 10 hours in the fuckin sun in the summer.
I agree, hog. THere is being civil and subtle – but if you have to drop passive-aggressive hints constantly that only go unnoticed, then the next step may be an interpersonal approach. It may sound rude but if someone has such bad hygiene that their colleagues cannot tolerate it, then majority can and should rule.
It happened in a residence on my campus a few years back. This one guy in another building refused to shower, ate like a pig and was just a slob. His own roommate moved out after a few days after finding another roommate in the same building. It got to a point where people would leave shampoo, soap, deodorant, etc. outside of his door while he was gone and the guy just cried about it. He then got his own single room in another building.
True enough Fat !!! Like really – some office and the stinky fucker is smelling up the place . The OP outta stop dropping hints , get some soap and a rag – put it in a bag – and tell stinky ” yo stanky , its time to fuckin wash you stinky fucker “.
ngf, you used to be at purdys, so was i.the cleaners there always complained about the lawyers in tower two.more so the last ones that moved in. and the females were the absolute worst offenders.they hardly ever flushed,tampons all over the place,and empty tp rolls on the floor. seems the more you make, the bigger fucken pig you turn out to be. at least the last time i was there, two years ago.
Well, I have smoking allowed at my workplace, and I prefer the gentle aroma of my Arabian/Carolina-blend tobacco to the BO and cheap perfume of your co-workers…
Tobacco smoke is a wonderful nuetralizer of odours…
Hey, LS, ironically I worked in Tower 2 just over two years ago also! I guess the truth hurt some people. It wouldn’t hurt so bad if they knew how to flush a toilet.
My sign said that they probably don’t do this (shit, not flush, etc.) at home so they should have some respect for their workplace. Its amazing how a group of so-called professionals can be so childish when someone called them out on their sloth.
Oh well. Fuck ’em.
BMF – your workplace is one of the last of the mohicans allowing smoking in the workplace . Pretty rare to see that anymore . I used to smoke before but quit for a few reasons. Especially having to go outside the work sites to smoke . But yea – the smell of certain smokes are way better then some stinky unwashed person !!!
hog, I think it’s because he drives for a living and you are allowed to smoke while driving unless you have a minor on board.
ZZZ yea your right there , I’m also kinda guessing that BMF office ( or should I say terminal ) likely is all old school people that don’t much care about people smoking . Truckers are a different breed , thats forsure .
you totally cannot just walk up to someone and say “you stink, please shower from now on” Guaranteed you’ll be reprimanded for harassment and/or discrimination- the stinker will likely make a complaint out of sheer embarassment. otherwise I’d advocate jsut telling the offender- until then.. put some soap on their desk in a nice, little package a la me0w.
I think the “gift” of soap is far more offensive and passive aggressive than raising the issue with someone directly. As I said before, it can be handled by the boss if the employees are too incapable of handling things. If it was my co-worker I would find a tactful but direct way of raising the issue. Find a private moment and say something like “this is a difficult issue to bring up, but myself and others in the office are concerned about your scent.” and wing it from there. If you are the one with the problem, deal with it like an adult.
ah miles, you’re management material alright…
how would you like a raise, more vacation days, a company truck, and title of senior ‘do whatever the hell I don’t want to do’ manager?
sound nice?
well you can’t… more taxes to pay for union wage increases has left me strapped.
you’re fired.
now I’m going to hire you again just so I can fire you…
you’re hired… congrats! here’s your badge that must be worn at all times and your complimentary company pen. lunchroom’s down the hall…
you’re FIRED! TURN IN YOUR BADGE AND GET OUT.
Now i’m dizzy. I’m gonna sit down.