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Is it weird to video record someone unsuspectingly because your love for them is too strong to accept the fact you will never see them ever again in a short while?
–you tell me if i need therapy
This article appears in Jan 14-20, 2010.
31 Comments
depends on what you’re ‘doing’ … ahem.
is it really harmless or could it be damning?
you can get in some trouble over it so it had better be worth it.
get analysis and therapy. You need an analrapist.
i heart boobs
Isn’t this the way serial killers start out?
Filming someone unawares could be construed as stalking. As difficult as it may be you need to walk away OP and realize that some things are just not meant to be, the first step to moving on.
Do not videotape people without their permission.
It’s creepy, and in very specific circumstances like the one you describe ILLEGAL. It is definitely stalking, which is against the law.
Really, no one is worth obsessing about. Obsessing is like a mental loop that you can’t turn off. Like a song playing over and over in your head. If you dwell on it, it will only reinforce itself.
Even intense obsessions can disappear as suddenly as the appeared.
Honestly, talk this through with someone whose advice you trust. You might have to live with the obsession for a while before it fades, but no good can come of acting out on things that should remain clearly on the fantasy side of the line.
actually if you can get them outside in the public domain then it should be ok, much like picture taking on public streets is.
BTW, I believe buddy who videotaped the rat bastard whooligans in dartmouth beating up and stealing from one lone kid was in his house, didn’t have the kids concent, and wasn’t charged when he released the tape. sure the premise is different, but the outcome should be the same.
This bitch = All kinds of crazy
Hmmm…do you like the smell of your own farts too??
i replied too quickly…it’s miles with his witty shit
op.i just re-read your post…this sounds creepy “you will never see them ever again in a short while” i hope you don’t have pictures of her plastering your domicile…the answer would be yes
You can videotape anyone you want in public (including the cops).
You can videotape anyone you want on your own property.
Canada criminal code Section 183.1-
R. v. Jamieson [2004] O.J. No. 1780, allows me to resord you in my house (e.g. nanny-cam/home security) but of course I can only use the tape, or show it to anyone else, if it catches you in a crime.
You cannot, however, in Canada legally videotape someone grunting and straining on the toilet, if that’s what you’re thinking.
Anyone that says “you can’t use that in a court” had best not defend themselves, lol…
Analrapist…
http://ftwzone.files.wordpress.com/2009/06…
OP, this is a bit long, but it covers your question:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OGuazcGd3A
In case it’s too subtle, focus on the words: creepy, weird, stalker
Yes. You need therapy.
The creepiness aside…do you really want to beat yourself up (ie emotionally torture yourself) in the coming months or do you want to give yourself a fair and honest chance of getting over that person that means so much?
For your own best interests don’t keep video etc…now I am not suggesting you go through all of your picturesmedia and delete anything…just tuck it away in a folder somewhere until a day comes that your heart doesn’t hurt because of their absence.
Facebook can be a terrible thing too…if your pages are so intertwined that it would be difficult to disentangle the electronic webs that have grown togeather, it’s a daily reminder of that person…sometimes there can be painful or upsetting changes that are innocently posted but cause much strife and anguish. Do yourself a favor, do your heart a favor and limit the amount of “ex-exposure”…your heart will thank you for it.
Well said DER, and very true about FB.
Good grief, who needs Videos of people grunting and groaning.People are quite comfortable Posing for these shots. That’s enough for me.
🙂
The OP doesn’t need thearpy… They need a hug-me-jacket
Knowing someone you love is going to be going away and you will see them again, eventually, is hard enough — knowing you aren’t going to see them ever is even harder, but dude, you’re going about this the wrong way.
Love makes people do crazy things or makes you WANT to do crazy things, and losing a love can be devastating, but you’re going about this the wrong way, dude. If you’re never going to see them again, having pictures and mementos (videos for example) are just going to make it harder. And video taping someone when they don’t know is pretty fucking creepy.
When a relationship (even if it’s unreciprocated, it’s still a social relationship) ends (and that includes being rejected) there is a grieving period for the loss of “what could be.” You have to go through the motions of grieving that loss, and I doubt watching tapes you creepily obtained are going to help you get through that and get on with your life. That being said, I don’t think you need therapy, you probably just have to talk to a counsellor to help you get through this. The fact that you’re asking whether or not you’re crossing the line means you’re cognizant of the fact that what you’re considering doing is probably not ok, and that’s much better than if you didn’t question your idea.
Yes, there are many things that are technically legal that can cross the line into illegal if one goes too far.
You are allowed to photograph and videotape in public, and people who “happen” to be in the image are in the image. But you are not allowed to follow people around, for example, or bring the camera close to a person’s face, or generally “harrass” them if they ask to be left alone.
Likewise, I am allowed to walk down the sidewalk when and where I please. I am definitely NOT allowed to stand on the sidewalk in front of an ex’s house all day, staring at the place, or “waiting” for that person to arrive or leave.
There ARE specific laws about what constitutes reasonable public behavior and what constitutes stalking.
When in doubt . . . well, let’s just say that you admitted you have an obsession about a person, so be very, very restrained in your actions. If you have to ask . . . then you might want to think twice about what you are doing.
And if this person asks or tells you to stay away or leave them alone, you had best comply with their wishes.
RubyJane, depends on one’s occupation. Media, investigators tape and take pictures all the time of people who’d rather not be photographed. And don’t forget all the security cameras out there getting both your “good” and “bad” sides.
Fair enough, Bro Tim.
Even the media biggies cross the line and are taken to task from time to time.
I think the issue with our OP here is that he already “knows” that there is something not-quite OK with what he is specifically thinking about trying . . . very high on the creep-o-meter, and he would be wise not to test the limits of the laws.
What about all those fat people who’s asses/legs/backs get shot and put on tv whenever there’s a news story about how fatty foods make people fat (you know the ones — the “new evidence suggests potato chips cause weight gain!”)? Those people are shot without their knowledge/consent!
heh.
it’s weird,only if you are going to become a stalker.other than that,fill your fucking boots.p.s., if you are female,and want to make a good film,see me.we can make an oscar winner together.
Again, all this nonsense about “they need your permission to show a tape” is just that, nonsense. If you are in a public place, be warned that your image CAN and IS being recorded.
In the UK, the average person is recorded hundreds of times each days by CCTV camera…I expect that to be the norem soon in Canada, as more and more cameras are being added.
I am also not personally aware of any law preventing a citizen from parking, standing, or sitting outside a house, whether it’s an “ex” or not, and this apllies to “staring” and “waiting” (?). If you have any proof, e.g. case law, that states that, Rubyjane, I would be curious to see it, and be stood corrected. The same applies to standing, in public, outside a business…the owner may think he can “usher” you along, but he cannot. Even if, for instance, you are wearing a sandwich board stating how much he sucks…
Our freedoms are not something that can be tossed aside by an angry ex
Frosty is correct, “Reasonable Expectation of Privacy” is the precident established in our court system. It means you only can expect privacy in places where privacy is reasonably expected (ie your own home, church, your backyard etc.); if you are out on the street or in a public park etc. and your image is taken along with a group of others…tought luck. The only caveat is that they cannot take a picture where you are the only focus and then make money from that image…they would need your permission to put you in a cough syrup commercial if they took a pic of you hacking your lungs out.
BMF, it’s called Criminal Harassment:
CRIMINAL HARASSMENT / Prohibited conduct / Punishment.
Criminal Harassment
264.
(1)
No person shall, without lawful authority and knowing that another person is harassed or recklessly as to whether the other person is harassed, engage in conduct referred to in subsection (2) that causes that other person reasonably, in all the circumstances, to fear for their safety or the safety of anyone known to them.
Prohibited conduct
(2)
The conduct mentioned in subsection (1) consists of
(a)
repeatedly following from place to place the other person or anyone known to them;
(b)
repeatedly communicating with, either directly or indirectly, the other person or anyone known to them;
(c)
besetting or watching the dwelling-house, or place where the other person, or anyone known to them, resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; or
(d)
engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or any member of their family.
Punishment
(3)
Every person who contravenes this section is guilty of
(a)
an indictable offence and is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding five years; or
(b)
an offence punishable on summary conviction.
[1993, c.45, s.2]
I think part of what we’re missing here is the “unsuspectingly” and what does “never see them ever again” “in a short while” mean? You’ve broken up, and they are leaving so you want video to obsess over. If you were still in a place that you might see each other later, as in a long distance relationship, they should be perfectly happy to leave you with a video memento.
Clearly this is a case of you being obsessed, and that’s never good. The video will not help, and will more than likely just find it’s way back into the knowledge of said person, and you will find yourself with a restraining order.
Bro, Tim..ah OK “harrasment laws” regarding stalkers, cheers.
I guess I, with my paranoia, was coming at it more from a self-preserving ‘surveilence” angle…e.g. keeping an eye on my own property, and for my OWN interests…it never really occured to me that people would creep around on the street to instill “fear” on others…but of course, they do.
I’m more likely the victim than the perp, I’ll tell you that, when it comes to shit like that, lol
However, it remains my opinion that until one was actually guilty of “stalking” in the above mention statute, one is still free to video tape in and from a public place…
Yes, BMF, I do see where you are coming from, re: the surveillance issue.
I guess all I would add is that it is extremely uncomfortable to be under such surveillance, whether by those in “authority” via CCTV, or by a stalker. Both are extremely creepy.
Which is why I think our OP here should be very very careful about what he is doing. Even if the object of his interest never finds out, this cannot be good for his mental health, and if, somehow, she does find out she may have the beginnings of a real legal case against him.
He can go out photographing and videotaping in public to his heart’s content, but if she gets any reason at all to suspect she is being followed and deliberately and repeatedly singled out, she would have reasonable grounds to suspect him of stalking, and the photographic and video evidence would be in her favour, not our aspiring paparazzi.
I stand by my original principle that “if you have to ask” . . . then you should definitely err on the side of caution.
while it’s true in the UK people are video tapes hundreds of times a day…
and true you are able to video in a public place…
cops still won’t let you.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/01/12/po…