I don’t know why, but there are few things (well, probably more like several) in this world that get me as mad as this: When you’re in a store, grocery or some sort of ‘mart, and there’s some oblivitron standing in the middle of an aisle with their cart pretty much blocking the whole aisle and the rest covered by their body. You politely slow down when nearing them, hoping they’ll see you and move aside. But no. They never see you. They continue to be lost in the world of calorie comparison and stay the fuck put. You say “excuse me” and sometimes they comply. Sometimes they’ll continue to ignore you and you either have the choice of angrily walking all the way around the aisle or pushin’ on through. Of course the latter is more satisfying. Sometimes it’s great to walk all the way around the aisle and come up on the other side of them, angrily grab the item you wanted and shoot them the “I”m going to cut your brakes” stare. It’s really good when they know what that stare is for. Sometimes they don’t because hey, they’re oblivitrons; it’s in their nature. It’s not even like I’m ever in a hurry in a grocery store. I don’t know what it is but I just can’t friggin’ stand these people.
When this happens to me, there is not enough ketamine in the universe to calm me. I see these people as everything that’s wrong with the world. When people can’t even go into a fucking grocery store and function properly, we have a problem. This may seem like such a trivial thing to get so worked up over but it’s just little thing after little thing after little thing that I see every day of thoroughly idiotic people not being able to do the most basic of tasks. PEOPLE; I know it’s very hard for you to do but PLEASE try to be aware of the things going on around you. Stop this mindlessly wandering around the city and life. It’s a wonder and shame that you’re even alive. —Minty Fingers
This article appears in Apr 14-20, 2011.
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What’s worse is when you’re much bigger than them and they still don’t see you.
“oblivitrons” heh! i like this, and who cares if this is slightly trivial, it’s the sad truth. im impressed by the great bitches today!
i honestly question the mental capacity (or lack there of) some people possess!
This happens ALL the time and I move my cart to the side and then wheel their cart down the lane and return to take my cart through the aisle. They ALWAYS say I took their cart by mistake but I inform that it was no mistake as it was in the way and blocking people from accessing the aisle. The SH!T in the cart is not theirs until they are through the check-out and it is bagged and paid.
Minty Fingers,
Have you ever considered the possibility that some of these folks standing around staring off into space have been infected with a mutated virus which goes to work on the brain in such a way that in a few weeks we could be dealing with that ultimate Apocalypse . . .
they’re as useful as an ornithopter I tells ya… hey, why does it think that’s not a word?
silly spell check…
This is precisely the reason I only shop with hand carts….
I’d rather go twice a week and get in and out than once and spend a fucking hour navigating in and around and over here and there… while people block my path at every turn.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, you plow your cart right through that shit, OP – cart smashing is always a surefire attention getter and sure as shit will wake up them comatose shoppers. My Gawd, stop being such a stressed out pussy.
I get so angry whenever I go shopping that it usually ends with me getting in an argument with my girlfriend because my tension levels are just too damn high afterwards (she’s totally undeserving of my wrath, but I just get so frustrated).
And the “oblivitrons” (love that btw) don’t just limit themselves to the aisles at the grocery stores. It bugs me even more in the parking lots, when they’re walking down the centre of the lane. Move the fuck over to the side!
chea, i dictionaried “oblivitrons” (im cool like that) but no results! and then i google’d it … disappointment. but i am so adding that word to my vocabulary! <3 it.
It’s just one of those words that popped into my head ;D
This put my anger and frustration with grocery shopping into perfect words, thank you OP.
And the “just stop for a chat and not move at entrances and aisles” people, especially if the whole family is in for the ride, they’ll circle around.
it and shit does happen. and by the way, hams are on at stupid store this week for 99 cents a pound. i got 6, and by the way, they are not only for welfare people.
OP, I just bump their cart with mine. I don’t give a fuck, and I don’t care what they say or what look they give. Most are too fat and dumb to realize their size blocks the aisle. They’re like deer in the headlights looking at the aisles of food for them to push down their throats.
sorta like seb., at a condom display, right more?
as someone who works for one of the major grocery chains in town… AMEN!
people are so friggin oblivous to everything around them except themselves! it’s ridiculous… i don’t know how many times i’ve been trying to get somewhere with my flat cart, and people won’t get out of my way no matter how polite i am!
as well, it really pisses me off when i’m trying to fill a shelf, and instead of saying “excuse me” politely so they can reach something i may be blocking, they just literally shove themselves between me and the shelf… not even giving me an opportunity to move for them!
i loves this bitch… lol.
I like this bitch. And it seems that everyone has encountered this sort of behavior at on time. My wife and I always stay single file so we don’t crowd the aisles.
You’re not supposed to be in a hurry at a grocery store, that’s what a convenience store is for. – your neighbourhood cashier
oblivitrons..sweet..methinks these are the ..rank and file..i used to call them “skin faces” ..just average dumbasses drifting aimlessly through life ..lalalalla 🙂
“skin faces” love it…ugly bags of mostly water is appropriate as well^^
I was an oblivitron on purpose at MEC today. This woman (with an admittedly Hard to manage amout of stuff) was such a bear and mean to people in the store for nothing (shoppers and stuff alike) that when I knew she was coming my way I took extra space to look at panniers in the moxt exaggerated way I could. She only had to say “pardon me, please” and be polite…
HEY “neighbourhood CASHIER” – it’s not about being in a hurry or not, it’s about people being completely oblivious to common-fucking-sense! don’t block the aisle with your phat ass & stoopid cart. the end.
yea these are the peeps who:..make bands like knickleback huge..split a gut at “hilarious” you-tube videos..wear uggs year round..say shit like: working hard or hardly working ..and expect you to laugh … you know ..fucking morons..:)
is the same imbecile that crashed at the bridge 🙂
You would really walk all the way around the aisle just to reach something on the other side of a person rather than just telling them they are in your way!?? That is soooo passive aggressive, it’s crazy! How about stop assuming everyone should see the world the way you do and just ask them to move? Raise your voice if they don’t hear you, or just push their cart out of the way. Take control for crying out loud, it’s not a facist regime you’re facing, it’s just a person with a cart! I hate oblivitrons as much as everyone else, but as you have so aptly pointed out, they aren’t going anywhere.
Avoid the stores when the pension cheques are cashed, it’s like the blue rinse gang see it as a day at the amusement park.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ckXn9NirHA
I love this bitch, made my day. It boggles the mind that people can be so unconscious and oblivious of their surroundings.
This has to become part of the English lexicon. Who wants to add it to urban dictionary?