It’s really effing gross when someone “happens to let one slip out” when they come to your office. I mean, for fucks sake, what is wrong with you? What kind of diet do you have that causes you to produce such paint-peeling gas? For frigs sake, my eyes are watering. And you’re so out of it that you don’t realize that stink is coming from your ass? You do this on purpose? You think it’s funny? How about I come to your office and have a dump on your desk? You’d like that? (You probably would like that.) The atmosphere in here is thick with your humidity! I’ve gotta go for some air. I’m outta here. —Gasping for Answers
This article appears in Sep 15-21, 2011.
You know what? There are a multitude of reasons this can happen – pregnancy (which I am going through now and which I absolutely have no control over), Chrohns, IBS, etc.
So have the good grace to ignore it, or at very least have a good natured laugh over it, and get OVER IT.
Could be irritable bowel syndrome or one of a thousand other medical conditions.
Otherwise, OP, yes.
Yes you are a Big Tough Girl/Boy for complaining to the internet about someone’s farts.
Did it occur to you to say something at the time, or would that somehow cause you to not be such a Big Fucking Tool about it?
Someone’s shit don’t stink…
Probably does, but anyway. Wonder if there’s another bus or tipping Bitch today…
Yup.
‘K then.
(farts, as he leaves the room)
… OP this is one of those things that you can’t complain about … cause everyone is guilty of doing it … it’s something you just ignore … no matter how hard that may seem at the time.
i think this calls for our favourite farting dog http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/200…
Why, that dog’s a real snaggletooth!
As someone with honest to goodness IBS (both C *and* D), I can honestly say I’ve never had an issue holding in a fart. Even when I was on the midst of a “d” attack. (I don’t care if this is TMI, it’s LIFE so suck it).
The least you can do is stick your arse out the door when you’re in someone else’s office. Just lean against the door casing with your ass out the door all casual-like.
I shared an office with a guy who used to regularly eat donair at lunch and would spend the afternoon farting.
Most of the time it was bearable, but there were a few times where I actually did have to leave.
Fucker always thought it was funny.
And *I* was the one with the bowel disorder!
OB, are they fat because fat people are always full of foul shit.
Kitteh, I didn’t know you and NGF ever worked together.
Imagine that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a43kowi2ncI
I am so with you there, OP. When I taught high school, I’d write kids up for it! If a kid said “it’s a natural function, I’d reply, so is defecating, but you don’t do that in my classroom either.
and no lame excuses! To the kid who had lactose intolerance, I told him I had lactose intolerance intolerance and instructed the lunch ladies not to sell him milk.
Control your bodily functions, people!
Just like your dick, sebastard.
Ivan — nah, I never worked with NGF — this was another donair-lover!
LOLz – ya gotta admit, it sounds like his M.O.
Lol. That meeting’s done.
My wife of 20 years has IBS. Never have I detected an unpleasant air, unless it was intended … so to speak. It’s a matter of self-awareness and manners.
In my books, the paint-peelers are right up there with the S.E.T.s.
Maybe a pointed “what crawled up your ass and died?” comment will do the trick if it happens again.
Look it was a night out with the boy’s Guinness, chilli, & chicken wings & a couple of pictures of draught to take away our thirst.
Could be worse, could have been pickles & eggs with beer ~;o
newly adopted hounds can have noxious emissions, they almost have a colour. the boyos have farting contests but it’s far away from me, tho flatulence can linger for a while. i guess i just don’t cur
It’s definitely his M.O., Ivan. He regularly farts in my presence. And regularly announces the details of his bowel movements.
I do find, however, that colon cleansing (you can get the kits at GNC) helps with stinky farts. Since I started doing those years back, the gas I pass is usually odorous.
Ahahahahaaaa! You guys slay me… ahahahaha– whoops! Sorry about that! >fans airs with a magazine<
it’s a damn good thing i wasn’t there yesterday then, holy fuck, i didn’t know my asshole could smell so fucking wicked.man oh man, i let a few go here, and thought the fucking sewer was overflowing or worse. man, they were fucking rank. and i’m such a sweet guy, to have that inside me. good thing i didn’t have a smoke going, ka-fucking-boom.
I think it’s rude when no one tells me how bad it stinks. If there’s an elephant in the room, we should talk about it.
talk about it? you mean play the guessing game….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky1t_3_RnRk
http://blaugh.com/cartoons/061016_breath_m…
My favourite are the people who pop into your cubicle at work and start making small talk….all the while they’re floating air biscuits in your work space. Before the smell hits you, they make up some lame excuse about having to go to a quick meeting or some shit and then book, snickering under their breath on the way out. Bastards!
nerves, aging, chrones disease (which has taken one dear aunt and is about to take another so i know what the fuck i’m talking about..), cancer, pregnancy, IBS, allergies.. Shall i continue or have i made you feel like enough of a dick for now?
Fuck off. Someday you’ll be old and drooling all over yourself and pissing your pants and doing that weird thing where you chew but their ain’t no food in there. And someday someone who is the age you are now will be bitching about all those pitiful things you can’t control. Karma, bitch. It happens.
And they’re “out of it”? Hm. Well you may know this person’s circumstances but it sounds to me like this may be a medicated medical condition.
For example (yeah i’m really seriously not done with you yet, snob) did you know that people in serious stages of chrones disease often wear colostomy bags? Which means you literally carry your shit in a purse attached to your side. Yeah. it’s gross. But to most chrones patients, it beats dying. They don’t tell anyone about it usually.. would you? But odors leak out nonetheless.
Look, i hate when people fart around me too. But coming from a family with a HOST of serious gastrointestinal issues, it really pisses me off when turds like you who are probably in good health and have it easy, express horror at the way a sick person inconveniences you.
pretty kitty actually sebastian is right.. i hate to say but he is. Watch that show “you are what you eat” with gillian mckeith. She explains exactly WHY so many obese people smell bad, have terrible gas and bad breath to boot.
Diet plays a huge role in how you smell.. It also could be that OP.
I too have IBS and have never let one out in public. I guess it just takes years of practice, Kitty ;D. If I feel the need to like … relieve myself, I go to washroom or somewhere where it won’t catch the noses or ears of others. A lot of people who eat terribly also tend to fart a lot and be lazy, so that they fart wherever they please instead of waiting until they can get somewhere appropriate. Dad.
Morning all 🙂
http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivation…
I sometimes have SBD syndrome.