NOT ENOUGH EDUCATION HELP 4 SINGLE MOMS

Dear Mom, Ever hear of Student Loan? I am a single Mom too, I put myself thru school while working and supported myself. And I never EVER, relyed on the help of social assistance.Dont depend on others to get you “off” assistance. Do something for YOURSELF!

Dear Poop. Please stop picking on people that you dislike what they have to say. There is an intelligent way of making a point and then there is your way. It wasn’t that I was dependent enough it was the fact that I worked very hard and had determination. I could have taken the “easy” road as well and expected someone else to fix my problems for me. Dear Mom, I understand your frustration. I also sympathize with you in your struggle. The point I was trying to make is that far too many people on assistance use it as an excuse. Your trying to better your life. That’s great! But far too many people on SA have the notion that they are suppose to “get them off assistance”.

I can understand where MOM is coming from but I must say I am also pretty darn tired of all these people expecting our government and taxpayers to pay for everything for everyone that is “in need”. Everyone who has grown up in Canada have had many opportunities provided for them from an early age, and it is OUR choices (for the most part) that land us either in success or “in need”. I feel bad for those that are “stuck” but it was their choices as teenagers and early 20’s that got them there. If they were too proud or too stubborn to listen to common sense (or their parents) and either got tattoos on their faces or unfortunately had an unplanned pregnancy or otherwise placed themselves in a position that was not employable than too bad…that is why those choices were so important. Why do my tax dollars go to bail out people like that? I understand that not everyone “in need” has gotten there because of their own choices (thats who welfare was intended for, not freeloaders and selfish kids). Now MOM I have no indication where you fall in all of that and I do not want to make you feel badly, but it is now up to you to make the choices that will help you move toward success. The very first thing I suggest you do is apply to get your GED, spelling and grammar are very important in this highly competitive work environment and can immediately knock you out of the race. Another suggestion is to Google for suggestions on Interview Tactics and best practices, I am worried you may be presenting yourself as “against the establishment” in your interviews and that can lead to an unsuccessful interview as employers will see you as a potential disruption to workplace harmony.I hope that you don’t take anything I have said too personally or badly as I only want to help you out of the trap you are in. Add some comments in here and with all of us putting our heads together we can find you your “way out” and on to that road to success!

“these people”. Hey, if it was for ‘these people” and “those kinds” we wouldn’t need governments and taxes in the first place, would we?Anyway, she IS making choices and attempting to follow through with them, but there are still barriers to taking advantage of certain facilities/opportunities, dig?

I’d love to know the intelligent way, Sarah. Perhaps someone other than yourself can show me, since you can’t even seem to manage with basic grammar. I wasn’t picking on you. I just thought it was wrong for you to patronize Mom with comments like: ‘Ever hear of Student Loan?’ In fact, your last post has me wondering the same thing about you.

Oh Sarah…1. I kept to the topic. It’s you who chose to comment on me being unintelligent, as if I have no right to make a comment about something. 2. Basic grammar is not ‘a pre-requisite (sp) for posting on the Bitch section of this paper’, however, if you’re going to point out how unintelligent you think I am, you should take a minute and think back to those grade 3 level spelling lessons. It might help you out a little. 3. Again – I wasn’t picking on you. 4. At what point did i mention that I had a student loan?5. It’s GRAMMAR.

Holly, nowhere in my post did I say that there weren’t barriers or that everyone has a choice…why don’t you read a little more carefully.I myself was trapped in poverty…all through my 20’s after getting student loans to get education! I come from a family that could very easily be classified as wealthy, but that only made my student loans all that much more hard to get, thank you very much. I had to battle quite hard to get where I am, against prejudiced loan practices that expect your parents to pay for university, against a learning disability (ADHD) that forced me to re-read all my books AT LEAST TWICE as many times as anyone else in my class and against a tax system severely overburdened with free loaders, constantly gouging the pathetic paychecks I had through my 20’s all the while trying to keep my head above the tide line, so before you say I had it easy GO FUCK YOURSELF.Oh and how about reading a little more thoroughly next time:” I understand that not everyone “in need” has gotten there because of their own choices (thats who welfare was intended for, not freeloaders and selfish kids).”Your “Raped Single Mother That Had No Choice” is a worst case scenario and does not accurately reflect how many people end up on social assistance programs, go check out the Canadian governments own statistics on this:http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/en/cs/sp/hrsdc/edd/reports/1996-000356/page08.shtmlMake special note of this paragraph:”A large proportion of the welfare spells which commence in a given year are experienced by single men and women with no dependants. For example, in 1992 this proportion ranged from approximately 54 percent in Alberta to 71 percent in British Columbia. Single parents accounted for approximately 15 to 20 percent of all welfare spells which commenced in 1992 in the five provinces. A majority of the people who receive welfare in a given year are neither ill nor disabled but are “employable”;8 during 1992 these accounted for between 63 percent of SARs in New Brunswick to 89 percent of SARs in British Columbia. Although this observation has been made by others, it is worth emphasizing because it contrasts with what continues to be a common perception that welfare is predominantly used by single parents or individuals with disabilities.”

No Sarah, that is my point exactly! I would rather have our tax dollars supporting people like MOM who is trying to better herself but can’t seem to get the support she needs! Sadly, this is not reality!

So what – single moms should get their education paid for just because they chose to have a child when they couldn’t afford it?Sorry, but I had to WORK MY BUTT OFF in order to put myself through school. No handouts from the government or anyone else.You make your bed, you lie in it.

newsgal- do you think you can manage to FUCK YOURSELF up there on your way too high pedestal???

Poop, I’m very sorry that your life is so meaningless that you have to bully people on a public fourm to get your rocks off..I’m also sorry that you seem to having such a shitty week/life that it’s turned you into a very mean hateful person.Try and have a better weekend would ya 🙂

Right! I once worked for the city at an outdoor facility in a “lower” income part of the city. The poor (and I don’t mean finacially) children would come to us EVERY day when we opened with cans of food from the food bank and various items because their parents were “too busy” at home. These were (and I know for a fact) people on SA. We were these childrens caregivers for a whole summer buying them lunches bringing can openers for them and so on.The bitcher was making a point that she wants the help but is having a hard time with the “processes”. My point (again ffs) was that why doesn’t the poster find alternative methods to sponser her education (like a job??) Again, I know that said is diffucult with a child however there are many people out there (like myself) that sucked it up and did it. If financially this is not an option for you Mom, try maybe paying for a course or two at a time.It’s hard but no one said life was easy….

I wouldn’t call you mean and hateful Poopy but you must admit that you tend to play “Devils Advocate” and “Poke the Bear” more than a fair amount of the time…yes I know it can be like shooting ducks in a barrel sometimes here but really MOM’s post isn’t a good place to play like that.

Yeah. I have only ever commented on one other thread, and I can admit that it was in a fairly negative text. However, in this thread, it was Sarah who started the shit show, not me..and she shouldn’t dish it if she can’t handle the backlash.I agree. Mom’s post shouldn’t have turned into that. Mom – I appologize.

I think u all need to find something else to do with your friday nights than this.Poop you’re (note the ‘re) a forum troll.Everyone is so angry. And when they get a taste of their own medicine it turns into a shit show.

I agree, the system is broken. To be able to afford your kid you have to go into debt.Also, single mother more often means father who doesn’t take responsibility. Since it takes two to tango shake the mudda fucka up for money so that you won’t be in such the bind. Use the court and collection agency.Oh, and Sarah, you attacked poop first on this thread, especially since his comment wasn’t condecending but simply said: Kudos to you, but she is lamenting on the system that is in place that is clearly broken. However, she either can’t or doesn’t want to dig herself a hole that she couldn’t possibly get out of in a three year space by borrowing and exhoborant amount of money like you did. In fact, I didn’t read any malice until you took your frustration from another post and brought it onto here.But, that is straying from what is the situation, which is that the government basically only rewards you with fabulous cash prizes if you cheat the system rotten. It’s sad but I have seen it often enough to know it is true.

Alright Sara, Enough is enough. I think I should begin with explaining the purpose of social reforms such as SA to you. These programs are in place to HELP (that’s right HELP) young mothers such as MOM further their educational / parenting / life skills. We as a country VOTED and AGREED to the methods by which our tax dollars are spent. You were fortunate and driven enough to pull yourself from a bad place in life, can’t you hope for the same for MOM?I work in the education sector (in Spryfield) so I can totally relate to MOM when she says she experiences young mothers who become so frustrated that they eventually give up. In case anyone hasn’t noticed it is the children of these families that suffer. So instead of complaining about Poop being a terrible person (which is totally untrue, I know her!!) why don’t you try empathizing with a woman in struggle as you yourself once were.Ps ~ lol Lori your hilarious!!!

This whole thread is a direct parallel of what the original poster is complaining about – check it: single mother on welfare complains that she does not want to be on welfare anymore (which is a sign of progress, maturity, and growth on her part) but it’s hard to get off the dole; cue right and left-wing pie-in-the-sky opinions (mostly misspelled!) on how to help this woman out, or whether or not she even ‘deserves’ the help.Then, before you know it, everyone is arguing while this woman is STILL on fucking welfare looking for a way to get off it without a massive debtload. Sort of like a metaphor for the way the government ‘chooses’ to view poverty – let’s sit back and debate it over $150 luncheons, while people starve and get frustrated and continue to try to claw their way to the ranks of productive, tax-payin’ socie-tie!Not too many of you people seem to actually be familiar with, or even recognize the blatant reality of, systemic poverty and the cycle of welfare. Maybe from a sociology-degree POV, but let’s be realistic. Nobody chooses to be born into a poor family, physically/sexually abused, neglected, etc.. Nobody chooses to be a little fucked up as a result. They may choose to run away as a teenager. They may choose to drop out of school and get a job at 16 – well, not much of a choice there, but you do that or you finish school a homeless teenager. You choose to get therapy and maybe a GED. You don’t choose to have your contraception fail, but, according to some here, you should do the ‘right’ thing and choose an abortion in that event. So, then, who actually DESERVES social assistance? Last time I checked, it was for people in need. Why is it up to people who can’t relate to that concept to determine who those in need are? And – why are you a better person, because you sucked it up and worked your ass off for the first time in your life? Well, aren’t you noble! Sometimes the bed was made FOR you, and laying in it is no more a choice than being born into it! I chose to have an abortion along my way (while I was on welfare and in recovery for some pretty horrendous abuse and neglect) – does that make me a better person? That I ‘chose’ not to overburden an already exhausted system that all taxpayers seem to hate paying into? Because I didn’t want to be a ‘welfare mother’ who ‘pops out babies for more money’? Granted – my $536 a month would have increased, but with another mouth to feed – where does that money go? Do I regret my abortion? Who gives a fuck? Not you taxpayers! Could I have been considered “employable”, when I was obviously able-bodied, but couldn’t deal with myself because I was in a state of emotional pain and confusion? Suck it up – are you kidding me? I applied for a student loan because I was sick of the shit, and welfare cut me off well before my first installment came in. So I had to scramble to find five hundred bucks to pay my first month’s rent while I went to school full time. Suck it up, you say? Got $500 to spare, or a room to rent? “Oh, life has its pitfalls, nobody said it would be easy!”. Gimme a goddamned break – it’s called a cycle for a reason. People get stuck in it and it is hard to get out of, espeically if they are born into it. IT IS EASIER TO FACE HARDSHIPS WHEN YOU’VE BEEN HANDED A PROPER FOUNDATION. If you’ve been struggling your whole life, it can be hard to find the strength to keep struggling. Especially when you’re constantly being told you are too lazy to access the resources. Or there’s no excuse for you to be a mother (must feel great to hear that pretty regularly – “if you’re too dumb to get an abortion, why should “I” pay for your poor life choice?”). Or that there must be just some other magical way out that you’re too stupid to think of. The good news is that I got off welfare and finished school. The bad news is that I now have a fifteen thousand dollar loan to pay off, which was the one thing that terrified me when I considered getting an education. Hopefully society is satisifed with this! “Society” being the people who somehow don’t seem to eat less, or send their kids to shittier schools, or drive through more fucking potholes, or have a lower quality of life themselves because their taxes pay pennies for someone else to get a loaf of bread. Seriously – this “I work my ass off, why shouldn’t everyone else, regardless of their circumstances” attitude, you sound like out-of-touch, whiney fucks. Your life quality isn’t sacrificed because someone else draws welfare! Sounds like jealousy – “why should *I* have to work so hard while *they* “sit around” or lay in those beds of poverty they made because of their own laziness?”. “Why do *I* have to pay taxes for someone else not to work?”. Do those of you spouting that bullshit realize how archaic and selfish and out of touch with reality you sound? So the only thing that got me off welfare was going into serious debt. Hey – at least I’m paying taxes now! Everyone happy with that scenario? Does anyone follow me from the food bank to see that I come home to a heated apartment to eat my rations of hand-out soup that someone else worked soooo hard to grant me, even though I now have a job? Yes, life is hard, we all make choices that lead to other choices, but not all teenagers have the plans all laid out for them – school, then graduate school and work, then a career that finally lets them be a productive citizen and pay taxes rather than live off those of others. I remember asking my social worker repeatedly to get me into an employment program, or help with getting into school, so I could get off the system. And I remember waiting and waiting, going myself, and being told that I needed a referral. Then asking for a referral and waiting some more. Finally I barrelled through and said “fuck this” and applied for a loan on my own. Which, as a branded welfare recipient, was FUCKING HARD, but doable. I couldn’t imagine dragging a kid or two through those hurdles with me. When your kids come first – no matter where your money comes from – you tend not to put yourself first. I wonder how many posters here have considered this as well. Oh, and that abortion? My doctor tried to postpone the procedure until it would have been too late to have it done in this province, even though she KNEW I was on welfare. No excuse for an unplanned pregnancy? Sometimes contraception FAILS! “Abstain from sex because you’re poor”, WTF? Are these future American politicians talking? So before anyone spouts off about ‘choices’ and how many are actually afforded to people living in poverty, you might want to use your time to voluntarily babysit for a single mom who wants to better herself, but can’t afford child care. Have coffee with her and suspend your belief that all single mothers are on their backs most of the month until they have to check the mailbox for their cheque.I’ve been there and I am telling you from experience that a life that begins in poverty is very hard to turn around. It takes work, and a long time, but it can be done, and I am still in the process. ‘Suck it up’ is a little flippant, and sounds like something that might be mumbled through a silver spoon firmly planted in one’s yap. When you live from day to day and hand to mouth from the beginning of your life, the future isn’t as bright or as easy to attain as it is for people who come from two-parent, middle-class, white, healthy, functional backgrounds. MOM – don’t give up. You might have to do it on your own, and bitch until you get to where you need to go, but you’ll get there when you can. I wish I could take care of your kid/kids while you work your ass off to get off welfare, but I am still struggling at the poverty line because of these fucking loans. The best advice I can give you is to hold onto your dreams and don’t listen to a bunch of blithering morons. Good luck. You can do it.

Well said.

Here’s hoping it was read by those who need a little mind-opener…. this issue got lost in the shuffle of arguing posters but a lot of you made really great points. I hope MOM has checked the boards and at least knows that somebody can affirm for her that no, she isn’t crazy/lazy and yes, the system is fucked, with no lube. And that, yes, she probably is going to have to use that frustration to fuel her way towards her goals.Thanks for reading and for the positive comments, rather unexpected, but my long-winded literary shit tsunami is what happens after “sucking it up” for twenty years or so, lol!

To the poster of the ‘bitch.’ i would like to know more about your situation. If you can email me at plantyourowngarden@hotmail.com, i’ll explain. or anyone who has a similar experience would be helpful as well. Thanks