How can you say that? How dare you say that? You “hate” them? It’s “disgusting”? Hearing those words made me want to weep. You think it’s an easy way out? You think they’re just weak quitters who gave up? Well guess what pal, there is no easy way out of that situation. No matter how it ends, it is never easy. You said there is always a way back—that much I can agree with. But some people don’t find it. Believe me, it is not for lack of trying. Trying is one of the hardest parts. Picking yourself up off the ground, dusting yourself off and getting help is fucking hard. And making the opposite decision is equally hard. Do you think it’s a decision made lightly? Do you think they easily come to the conclusion that they are beyond help and can’t be saved? Do you think they easily decide to tear themselves away from their friends and family? Do you think they relish the thought of hurting the people they love? They don’t. And, if they do get help and survive, do you think the attempt is something they look back on proudly? Because it isn’t. Have you ever held someone you loved with all your heart as they cried their eyes out and confessed to you how worthless they felt, how they felt like they had to do it, how they felt like they didn’t deserve to live and how they are so ashamed of themselves and embarrassed? I have. I’ve known her—literally—my entire life, and I could have lost her and never even saw it coming. She suffered in silence until it was too much. But she survived. And she is wonderful and amazing and so much braver and stronger than I could ever be even in my wildest dreams. But, if you knew, you would be disgusted by her. I hate you for that. You don’t know what it’s like to feel miserable and worthless. You don’t know what it’s like to be convinced that nobody cares whether you live or die. You don’t know what it’s like to hate everything about yourself. Nor do you know the burning shame. You’re just an asshole with a big mouth.
When you went on your little tirade earlier today, I was shocked into silence and I only managed to stutter a weak defense. I was so amazed that someone could have an opinion so wrong, and so disgusting. Suicide is not an act of weakness. —On His Knees He Cried, But On His Feet He Died
This article appears in Aug 30 – Sep 5, 2012.
“Suicide is not an act of weakness.”
IMO, true.
it’s hard to decide whether the pain you’re going through is best felt by yourself, rather than those who hold you dear… those that you would thrust it upon… not a decision to be taken lightly.
the one thing I think everyone would encourage… is not rushing.
you’re going to die eventually anyways… if you choose to do so on your own terms… don’t make it a rash decision.
People who have never suffered from depression, crippling depression have NO idea how hard it is. Just snap out of it, go for a walk, get up off the couch; yes, we’ve heard all those great recommendations but little to they realize the person suffering hasn’t got the gumption to do any of it. And they don’t really care anymore. You cannot do or give what you don’t have inside. Until I had my introduction to depression I guess I thought it was a snap to come out of as well. Unless you have suffered from a bout of depression, and statistics say 95% of us will before we croak, you don’t know what it is all about. I am glad your friend did NOT pick the permanent solution to a temporary problem(s). I have many friends who did just that and a relative as well. The legacy the relative left behind to their kids was crippling to those kids for their entire life. Can we blame the sufferer? I don’t think so. In my wildest imaginations I cannot ever see Anyone picking the suicide option unless they were very ill and Did not see any other way to rectify the lousy way the felt. Anti depressants? I don’t know how well they work. Some do, some don’t. Anyhow I hope your friend gets the help she needs and has a better time of it. It is very sad and people around the sufferer feel very helpless.
OP Your friend is a very lucky woman to have you in her life.
Exactly what the hell is woggie yammering about now? Suicide? divorce? death? bankruptcy? Exactly what?
i thought the answer was obvious, timmy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MM1S27fPUQY
Very well written bitch OP! Boru is right, the girl in question is very fortunate to have you in her life. It’s impossible for some to really understand the depths of despair and how it shapes one’s perspective and one’s will. I’ve had some rough patches in my life, everybody has but some have to contend with darkness whether it is disease, abuse whatever. It’s hard to judge somebody’s mindset unless you’re in their shoes.
Troodon Even some that walked in shoes worn by OP’s friend forget how they suffered, so they continue to judge.It’s they’re words that can hurt the most.
i know how you feel o.p., but i have never had the unfortunate chance to experience it first hand. my first wife, and love of my life, died as a result of a drunk driver, i never even got the chance to say good bye. i never attended the funeral either. people thought that i was wrong for not going. but how the fuck can you think of being in the same room, with someone that you loved more than life, and know that she will not be with you in the flesh anymore, ever.
its a very hard and difficult thing to go thru. when you are only 19-20, it is even worse. you have all those years ahead, to mourn and miss that person. i had an old lab dog a few years back, i took him from a friend who was moving into an apartment that didn’t allow animals. reg had been 13 years old at the time. i had him for about 6 or 7 months, when i got a call at work to hurry home. i found poor old reg, on the floor, shaking and whining. i sat down by him, he put his head in my lap, and then he died. that was the second worst minute of my whole fucking life. yes, i understand the grief and hurt.really i do, and anyone reading, might think that i’m a pussy and a softy, but no way are they right. i was, but am now one cynical son of a bitch, and hate people more than you can believe. but again, there is always a spot, where i get touched, and this o.p., is one of them. best of luck in your future and hang in there.
I’m with the Bro on this one.
“you’re going to die eventually anyways… if you choose to do so on your own terms… don’t make it a rash decision”
Huh? I guess in the context of terminal disease or something just as drastic this makes sense. However, keeping in context of the post, WTF?
If someone is suffering from mental health issues they simply do not have the cognitive health to make an informed decision.
Furthermore, suicide is NEVER about one’s ‘own terms’. Suicide rips those left behind apart and can destroy families. Everyone the person knows is affected by their decision. Ultimately, suicide is probably the most selfish act someone can commit.
“If someone is suffering from mental health issues they simply do not have the cognitive health to make an informed decision.”
I’m not sure what exactly you mean by mental health issues but if you’re talking depression, they still have all their cognizant faculties…
would you have them doped out of their mind so that they physically aren’t a danger to themselves? restrained around the clock to lie there in their depressive, horrific nightmare of self-loathing with no reprieve? and who are you to decide? who is anyone but (s)he who is most afflicted? It is their choice.
“suicide is probably the most selfish act someone can commit”
why is that? how is it any different from someone moving away and never seeing or hearing from them again, be it relatives, friends, etc? That happens all the time, every day. If they want to leave, who the hell is anyone to say ‘NO, you can’t go’. It does sound selfish, but not ‘the most selfish thing ever’.
In my opinion, stealing just for the sake of stealing is more selfish.
Shame and self-loathing and hopelessness are terrible afflictions. My heart goes out to anyone who suffers and I’m grateful to the friends who helped me from sinking into total despair.
Being a good friend is the most valuable gift anyone can give.