Recently I met a man that I got along with quite well and we have continued to talk and see each other. There is only one problem with this man and a number of other men that I have met in Halifax. The media continuously portrays men as the provider and societal norms reinforce that the man is responsible for paying for everything when we go on a date. Some may look at this situation and say that chivalry isn’t dead, but I take a different look at the situation. Perhaps you may consider me unlike most other women, but I pride myself on being a very independent young woman and the fact that I work very hard for what I want and I do not need a man to pay for everything for me. If I am to mention that I am able to pay it’s as if a commit a taboo. Perhaps men need to consider how they feel when a woman offers to pay and realize that sometimes women feel the same way. I don’t know if these men think that they are impressing women by spending their money, as is often believed, but it is really not the case. I couldn’t be more content if a man asked me to go for a walk and grab a coffee rather than to conform to consumerism and spend unnecessary money. Women enjoy the small things too; it’s not always about the dollar bills and fancy dates. Stop following the media to get ideas, use your heart and brain instead; save your money, we’ll get a coffee and please let me pay. —I’ve Got It
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.
you are the exception then. the majority of women expect men to pay for the dates and if they don’t, then its a sign that they are “cheap”. The bottom line is that men feel that they are expected to pay for the dates if they want to get a second.
You as an empowered woman can interject and either offer to pay the bill yourself, or make it clear before the date that it is dutch.
once you are “dating” its normal to have one person pay and then the next date the other person pays.
Ive known women who didn’t even bother bringing money on the date, assuming i would be paying everything. I even had a woman who asked me to take her to the grocery store because i had a car, get to the cash register and expected me to pay….. and when i paid for my own stuff and walked though, she started panicking and putting things on the magazine shelf lol.
IGI, kk, I’m game 🙂
Good GOD woman, if he wants to pay LET HIM.
I don’t expect the guy to pay, either, but if he really wants to, he can go right ahead.
The last guy I dated we usually split the tab in that he’d pay for supper and I’d pay for dessert or drinks. It worked out well 🙂
causally mentioning… ‘alright, but the next time’s on me’ can go a long way.
They still pay as expected AND they know there’s another date there somewhere..,.
http://www.funny-cats.us/wp-content/plugin…
Ha ha – I like it when my bf treats. It was especially nice early on in the relationship. Now, it just all evens out in the wash…
Fuck that. Make her pay her half. After all, women fought to be treated as equals, so cut the bill to make it equal too.
if dude is happy to pay, and not expect to get laid for it, i say let him pay. when i go out, i usually pay, or it agreed on beforehand, to go dutch.
What’s kinda fuk’d is when you go out with someone of the opposite sex and it’s undefined as to whether or not it’s an actual “date” and he offers to pay for the lady (like buy the coffee, or something like that). It’s kinda awkward asking “so… is this an actual ‘date’?” during or after the fact. I mean when you ask someone out for coffee it could either be friends hanging out OR an actual date (coffee is excellent for first dates, esp if you don’t really know them well).
I’ve been caught up in that confusion a few times.
I like being able to at least offer to pay, just like I like to hold the door, or at least make the effort.
OP, good on you for wanting paying parity. I realize it’s chauvanistic, but some guys truly enjoy being able to pay for your meal, or small item like coffee.
I find it all evens out in the end: you get this one, I get the next. I don’t keep an exact tally, but being able to treat someone, even if the next time I get treated, feels great. To me it is about taking care of her this time. Next time it’s no threat to my manliness/masculinity if she gets it.
men can’t win with you bitches
http://images2.memegenerator.net/ImageMacr…
Too early for that, but lol though
OH JESUS. That guy won’t pass a polygraph! *scowl*