Be the first to know about breaking news, articles, and updates.
The Coast | News, events, restaurants, concerts and Burger Week for Halifax, Nova Scotia
Home of the Best of Halifax Reader's Choice Awards, the award-winning independent newspaper covers the Halifax news, politics, events, concerts, movies, restaurants, and nightlife scene.
Boys & men: If you say ‘banging’, ‘screwing’, ‘nailing’ or ‘tooling’ to describe how you make love to a woman, chances are you’re a shitty lover. (Maybe you should take up carpentry?)
—bring love
This article appears in Mar 19-25, 2009.
39 Comments
Tooling lol, thats a creepy one. Just out of curiosity is “fucking” an acceptable way to describe making love to a woman? It has nothing to do with carpentry at least.
I prefer shagging, even though it reminds me of carpets.
i laugh at broads that still say “make love”
NGF- I agree! It turns me off when they say make love, ecspecially when i dont love them.
I agree completely! Here is a small list of other words I also hate:
humping, drilling, sawing her in half, burying the bone, stuffing her clap flap, and pounding her poon.
Its appalling, “bring love”, appalling.
sounds as though OP is being banged, screwed, nailed and tooled without all the squishy feelings that she wants
So, if I say ‘Dipping the wick’ does that make me a candle maker ?
a little of the ole ‘in-out, in-out’
The best don’t talk about it. I laugh at stuff like “broads” though…. What is this, the 30’s?
before you know it, it will be the 30s again…
people in the 30’s didnt trim, that would suck NGF
OMG LMAO
Making love is strictly for the flabby grandparents, IMO.
If I say ‘make whoopie’, I’m probably a baker. It’s amazing how sex suddenly correlates with a vocation.
damn. i know of broads that still don’t in the new millenia!
Good one Joe, btw.
Then there is the old phrase ‘Jumping her bones’; or ‘A little night music’ or ‘Throwing the sausage’.
You forgot “Layin’ Pipe”
With me, it is called The Arrival Of Spring.
What about a little “Afternoon Delight” and while doing it she yells out “Fuck my cunt”.LOL. Don’t try and tell me women don’t use the same phrases or aren’t potty mouths (ain’t that cute) in the bedroom, outside, the mall or wherever else they fuck.
Sex has several categories imho (on a scale from barfiest to hottest/dirtiest)
making love
having sex
screwing
fucking
simple enough I guess *shrug*
“showin her the ‘Oh’ face….” and “riding the bone collercoaster” are the ones that stuck for me.*
Hiding the weasel
Pounding the tube-steak
Riding the love-injector
Mounting the steed
*I’m an office space guru.
Although one question, OP: What is the nice way to call it when being fellated?
“Making love in her face hole” maybe?
Perhaps polite, tender lovers don’t do that sort of thing…
Here’s a few:
• Address the court
• Blow the horn
• Gobble gobble
• Give a hummer
• Speak into the mike
• Polish the knob
• Meeting with Mr. One-Eye
• Play the pink oboe
• Yaffle the yogurt cannon
Acceptable to chicks (at least this one) with a sense of humor…
Chick on top: riding the boner-coaster or Yee-ha! playin cowgirl;
Fellatio: sucking a c@ck-cicle or playing the skin flute;
Plain ole sex: slip her the salami, hide the sausage, the old spank & tickle, gettin it on… ya, just about anything that doesnt sound too violent. Really though…who objects to “screwing”???
um, ‘banging’, ‘screwing’, ‘nailing’ ‘fucking’ ‘having sex’ and ‘making love’ are all completely different, OP. If you don’t know that, perhaps it’s YOU who are lacking in skill. Can’t say as I’ve ever heard ‘tooling’ though…
Oh yeah – and one person is never good in bed. 2 people are good together. Case in point, unbeknownst to us, a girlfriend of mine and I ended up ‘tooling’ the same guy within the same timeframe. She thought it was the best sex ever, I thought it was medoicre at best. Turns out we were both right.
Or don’t forget about “tapping dat ass”
I wonder what sample size was used to ensure the accuracy of this claim? Man, those guys may be shitty lovers but you must be one serious slut, no?
j/k
So what,
this represents 95% of men +- 5%, 19 times out of 20?
man, I hate stats…..
but if 6.76 B people total/2 = 3.38 B men total world wide.
(since there’s a 50/50 being man or woman ~ roughly)
wiki-diving, I get that ~ 375 M people speak English as a first language and conservatively 470 M speak it as second.
Most don’t have more than two languages so let’s ballpark that as the rest will be negligible.
375 M + 480 M = 855 M English speakers world wide.
assuming they are all male (which we know they are not) that’s a conservative maximum of 26% or 1 in 4 men that are affected by the OP’s claim.
We should really use the men/women 50/50 rule for english speakers though so then we’re left with 1 in 8 males world-wide potentially affected by OP’s claim…
If 5% of the guys able to speak the words ‘banging’, ‘screwing’, ‘nailing’ or ‘tooling’ in a derogatory sense did utter them, then we’re talking about
3.38 B * (1/8) * .05 = 21 125 000 males you be dissin’ there yo.
Which ultimately means…
I’m at least the 3 358 874 999’th best at sex in the world by default! Thanks!
*There are assumptions but since I was conservative, my rank will only get better people.
Funny, I tend to assume that when somebody says “make love” they’re a shitty lover. This may be an unpopular view because I’m female and apparently I’m supposed to be straight out of the 1940s with my sexual views, but if you put too much romance in it it kind of kills the whole sexual nature of the thing.
Having a connection with whoever you’re sleeping with is nice, but in my opinion, being fucked is where it’s at.
Back home it’d be ‘fuckin’ da guts outta her’ which shouldn’t be confused with ‘she gotta pounden’, which menas you beat the crap out of her 😉
As for making love, that’s what they do in lala land, not in reality. Not that you can’t “be in love’ in reality .
I hope this hasn’t confused you LOL !
Sounds like the OP needs to get hit by the mayonaisse truck.
This just opens a window for endless sexual innuendos around town, oh boy.
zZz… do you have a degree in theoretical calculus? Dear Zeus, that’s way too much math.
Wait seriously, how the hell did you figure out those calculations..
What ever happened to “plowing her”?
zZz, that’s a whole lot of statistical analysis. What’s the distribution on amongst the different terms?
I always thought that 89.5% of stats were made up.
I would say it would heavily favor the ‘banging’ and ‘screwing’, less so with the ‘nailing’… and wtf is up with ‘tooling’? don’t recall hearing or using that one….
I’d likely go with a 40/40/19/1 ratio as a guess.
Can’t be proven, but can’t be disproven either.
I’d hate to put more numbers to it.
as would you.
(and yes, Math is part of my uni degree)
Don’t forget, this applies to all you males out there as well.
I did this for us all.
zZz, don’t forget the “standard deviation”… there are a lot of them, hehe
I’ve never used those terms. Then again, I’ve only ever been with four girls in my life. One girl, I made love to; two, I f*****; and one, I have sex with.
I wonder if the view changes depending on whether you’re in a committed relationship at the time. With my fiance, there’s always an undertone of “making love,” but not in a stuffy kind of way, because it’s occasionally layered with “having sex” or “fucking.” But since I do love him, I’m fine with “making love” whenever. :3