I thought we had a special friendship and could always share our feelings good or bad. I stepped up many times emotionally and financially to be there for you through good and bad. You may not have always liked what I had to say but accountability is part of being a mature and responsible adult. Everyday I think of you and all I get is a pain in my chest.
You’ve hurt my heart more than you can know and have shown me your true colours. Now I know what your last boyfriend must’ve felt like after you used and tossed him to the side after you got what you wanted from him. You’re selfish and self-centered and I can’t believe I trusted and cared for you so much. My boyfriend warned me not to lend to friends that it was a bad mistake and I even concealed from him and everyone I know that I lent $4000 dollars to you over a 7 month period—with a promise from you to get the first $1500 back in 6 months. Without ever asking for a cent back until the end of April after you’d moved and started a new job in Hawai’i… buying things for yourself (new apt/scooter), as a friend I asked you to choose a comfortable payment plan starting a month later in May—if you had replied saying it was too soon, being the friend that I was I probably would’ve agreed to another few months if money was tight. What more could I have done?
I can only conclude from your silence that I was used and tossed aside so you didn’t have to be reminded of what you owed me and you’ve started a new life like you always do and you have no intention of paying me back. Well I am here to remind you that you do owe me $4,000 and an explanation—I think I deserve at least that. I trusted you and you abused that trust. I hope you can live with knowing you lost a good friend who always put you first. You disappointed me. I don’t know if we can ever be friends like we were again and that’s sad. —A Broken Heart
This article appears in Jun 21-27, 2012.
that’s a lot of coin, you probably won’t see dime one…sorry
4 grand… damn… I’d have had something written up and signed (with witnesses) for that kinda cheddar.
call dog the bounty hunter and have that bitch tracked down.
Let this be a lesson to you – money and friends DO NOT MIX. I learned this myself when my best friend of 40 years borrowed $400 a few years back – she had been one of the few people in my life I trusted. She made all kinds of excuses for repayment but I harrassed the shit out of her until she paid up. In the end it fractured our life-long relationship and, although we remain friends, I can never trust her again.
This was an expensive lesson for you, OB. Lending money spoils relationships. When someone needs to borrow, they most likely can’t afford to pay it back. It takes real commitment, and making repayment a priority, which is what she obviously didn’t do. Doesn’t always pay to be kind, sadly.
Next on Judge Judy…….
Sadly for you it seems they are living quite well over in HI, from what you say. And have likely used the money you lent them towards their ‘moving on’ in life. You would be very lucky to ever see a cent of it again. There is indeed a reason for the old saying – ‘neither a borrower nor a lender be’. Especially between family and / or friends. Also, there is often a thin line between being a good friend, and being a doormat.
Shows which of those your ‘ex-friend’ really thought you were. Yes, they will live quite well, without you in their thoughts, as they are probably on to a new ‘friend/doormat’ to use.
Do not let this sour you on making friends, but be on your guard as far as trust goes.
Heal quickly from this sad and tragic, for you, situation.
Thanks everyone. I’m passing this message hoping I can save someone else from making the same mistake.
take it from me people, never loan money to a friend. and now 4500 bucks and 3 years later, we are not all that close anymore. this was a guy like a brother to me, we grew up together and did all kinds of shit together. we hunted and fished and sometime ago, we both went out and got fucked together.
you couldn’t find a better person in this world. then when he was up against it, i loaned him the money, and he said he wouldn’t be able to pay back much at one time.i told him whatever he could afford. to date, not one fucking penny. and as i said, 3 years ago.
he doesn’t work, i can handle that. he gets a small pension, i can handle that also. but fuck me, everytime you go to look for him, he is out driving someplace, usually up in stewiacke or down cape breton.
so, where does that money come from, and where the fuck is mine. i gave him til end of year, or else i will take him to small claims court. the friendship ended 2 weeks ago, for good.
A receipt? Transaction record? Cashed cheque? Nothing?
You need better friends.
You gave the aloha and she gave you the sayonara.
I’m really sorry OP, you’re heart was in the right place but you might have had an inkling from the way she treated her ex-boyfriend, used and then kicked to the curb. I guess you saw her as a true friend and never considered that she might take the money and run. It’s an expensive lesson. Personally I do not loan money to close friends or family. I give it to them. That way I`m not disappointed, money ruins relationships.
its so easy…
if you want to lend money to a friend,
you have to expect not to get it back.
Never lend money expecting to get it back. My parents have helped me out when times were tight and my dad would say pay me back if you can and I always did my best. When my boys are grown ill lend them money, or obviously my parents since I owe them but anyone else can pound sand.
i don’t know u, but i’ll pay u the $ u r owed
I was always told be thankful if a friend borrows $20 and never pays you back – that it’s the best $20 you ever spent! I don’t think it applies to four digits though… shitty deals 🙁
Stop considering your daughter as your friend. This sounds more like giving to the kids and not a friend.
Give only what you can afford to lose.
BTW Dog sucks, Stephanie Plum rocks. LOL.