Last year, a good friend of mine was accepted into college, and after he was there, he found that he was having a few financial difficulties, due to the fact that he was accepted into college on very short notice (he was on the waiting list) and didn’t have time to apply for a student loan until after he was accepted. He called me and asked me if I could lend him $500 “until I get my income tax refund or student loan, whichever comes in first, then I’ll pay you back.”
So, being the schmuck that I am, I lent it to him. Tax time came and went, and he is now graduated from college, and guess what? It’s been 14 months, and I’m still waiting for my $500 back. That alone is bad enough, but let me tell you what REALLY irritates me: I look at his Facebook page every now and again, only to see status updates of “Oh, loving my new Blackberry!” or “In heaven with my new 40″ big screen TV!”
Jesus H. Christ!</p?
So far, I’ve been holding my tongue, and haven’t said anything to him, because I’m afraid that if I say something, I’ll rip him a new arsehole at the same time. What would you do if you were in my situation?? —Going to the Food Bank Soon if I Don’t Get My $500 Back
This article appears in Mar 11-17, 2010.
The sad thing is, the Blackberry and TV are probably not paid for but on a overdrawn credit card, or a buy-now-pay-later scheme.
You could perhaps approach it this way: Mention that you are glad that college worked out so well for him so that he is now able to afford such luxuries, as you well remember when he wasn’t doing so well and and needed assistance. Like that $500 you lent him. And like he was then, you could use the help now, by him actually paying you back.
If he freaks out, you might have to look at small claims court. Any mutual friends that help with “reminders”?
Lesson learned.
But in today’s age you must know you can get a Crackberry, TVs, furniture, etc for nothing down and not pay til Mar 2013.
He sounds like a user and you my dear have just learned an important (and costly) lesson. You’ve waited fourteen months already. Don’t bother asking. Why you value this person in your life and have tolerated this is beyond me and likely not within your mental grasp either.
You didn’t mention if you’ve already asked him for the repayment. I’d ask. Once. Be very clear and direct. Give him a deadline. Which sounds kind of harsh, but whatever. It’s kind of harsh to ask friends for that kind of money and not pay it back asap. Regardless of his current position, he should have at the very least acknowledged that he has an outstanding debt with you (which is still a cold comfort when you’re eating Zoodles for supper).
sucker
A few of us have been there…so being taken advantage for generosity is not being a sucker. The first time….
If you want to live to a higher level do this:
Ask him once…face to face essentially. Ask for him to give him you payment date. If the deadline passes, ask him once again and YOU provide a deadline. If that passes, outside of taking some flesh, let him know you are disappointed in him and tell him you forgive him for taking advantage of you. Mention karma (because it does exist!). Then you have to let it go.
If you want to get nasty, do this after the second deadline:
Make a one page website in his name and post that he is a cheat, not to be trusted and owes you money.
When he pays, you’ll remove the site.
Fair is fair.
I would say “Hey, remember when you were in financial troubles and I lent you $500? Well, I’m on the broke side this time, and could really use that back now.” Don’t let on that you don’t like him rubbing his expensive toys in your face unless he claims he has no money to pay you back.
This sounds like a Judge Judy show
you really could have mentioned it once or twice….
though I do like les ismore’s rather patient approach more than gettign all up in his face.
I’d get the payment date 1 and 2 in writing and then post #2, small claims court.
(course, were it me, I would have gotten the ORIGINAL agreement in writing to begin with)
half a grand is enough to warrant a bit of time fighting to get back.
les ismore – yes that is being a sucker. It is one thing for some one to lend a friend a few bucks but when they get in to the hundreds of dollars…totally different story!! Where are the parents? Also too late for student loans? You can apply right up until almost the last month of school. MOST everyone would say lending money to friend doesn’t mix. At some point it will back fire!
So just when you thought it could happen to you – WACK your out $500.
Yup sucker lol
Ripping him a new asshole sound about par of the course.
as was stated in another bitch, never loan anyone money, not even a relative.
Les, can I be your friend?
Then borrow some money?
You can totally give me a deadline.
Oooh, scary!
Are you hard up for (shitty) friends or something?
lol
Some people have to learn the hard way.
I think it should be a requirement to watch Judge Judy at least once a week.
tell him to pay you back by the time he gets his next paycheque. if he doesnt pay you back, he can staple his next pay cheque into the empty spot where his tv used to be.
good luck getting your dough the dude sounds like a wannabe metrosexual douche asswipe
I like Hollahs idea, put them on the spot.
Do you need a new TV ?
Go over to his place and get one.
That’s what I would do.
Tell him that if & when he wants it back, bring over the $550.00
When he questions you about the extra $50.00 tell him it was for making you have to spend money on Gas & vehicle expenses to get the TV !
How seriously stupid are you? NEVER LEND MONEY TO FRIENDS!
Your ‘good friend’ is a douche. Consider 500 bucks the cost to find this out and keep them away.
you should just know that ANY time you lend a friend money, you should just assume they’re never going to pay you back.
I’m still waiting for the $10 I loaned a friend TEN YEARS AGO.
10 year HS reunion is coming up….I’ll get my 10 bucks back….if it’s the last thing I do.
HAHAHAHA.
Also: consider this a $500 lesson on what NOT to do with friends.
I almost lost a great friend to a loan going unpaid. From that day forward, if a friend or family member needs some money and I can afford it, I just give it away.
$500 is pricey but a lesson well earned.
I loaned a friend of a friend $10 once and learned he was no friend of mine. That lesson was pretty cheap. That was a long time ago.
Now, I require a blood sample, a thumbprint and an iris scan. Maybe only a retinal scan if I’m having a good day.
You should’ve written comments underneath his facebook purchase posts asking for your 500$ – that way all his other friends will see that he can’t be trusted.
OP… keep holding your tongue and your “friend” will likely keep holding your money.
C-O-M-M-U-N-I-C-A-T-I-O-N Try it.