This goes out to a certain breakfast place that has steadily gotten shittier over the last few years. My partner and I have been going for years. We had our first date there and loved the substitutions not to mention the huge portions with all the coffee you could drink and it being under $5. Hell, we even moved into our apartment partially because of its proximity to our beloved establishment. Then the price went up. Okay. Then the portions got smaller. Fine. Then again. Fine, I understand that costs rise. The service was usually pretty bad but that was fine ’cause the food was good. Anyway, what I’m getting at is that this place gradually lost what made it good. Despite that, I still made a point of going at least a couple of times a month be it with friends or on a breakfast date. The last handful of times I’d leave wishing they’d offered one more cup of coffee (2 seems to be the limit now?) and wondering why I keep coming back.

This morning was the final straw. I convinced my partner to come with me for a late breakfast. We arrive and the place was pretty busy. We sit down, read the paper. The server (who has been there for as long as I remember) wipes our table and proceeds to take drink orders for a table that had just sat down (about 10 mins after us). Cool, I’ve worked in restaurants for years, this shit happens. More people come in, the server wipes more tables down (ignoring us) and proceeds to take new orders from these people who came in almost 15 minutes after us. I could understand if we were still reading the menu, but we were reading the fucking paper while we waited. We knew what we wanted, we always order the same thing. We always tip well too. Do we not deserve even a cup of coffee with our paper while we wait for the rest of the restaurant to order? Anyway, call it petty, we left. We have food at home, we don’t need to spend our money at your shitty restaurant. Fuck you, you’ve let me down for the last time. —Meals at Another Restaurant

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60 Comments

  1. breakfast is usually a good indicator of a restaurant…
    if they serve one, that is….
    If they can’t even take the few minutes to cook a fucking egg properly, then they won’t take the time/have the skills to get the rest of it right.

    I used to feel the exact same way you mention with ‘Maxtells Thumb’…
    and they may have fixed the issues since..
    but every month for a few on end, things kept getting worse.
    In a place with this many restaurants, you gotta stay on top of your game.

  2. Sounds like my kind of breakfast, Painey. Trouble is that even an Egg White McMuffin will taste awesome.

  3. good day gang, i will not post a comment on these bitches as yet. but i have been asked to pass along a small message from our friend, montrealman. seems he isn’t getting his posts up, or comments. due to a post message tab, that does not appear on his page. here is the message.

    “Montrealman would like his fellow commenters to know that he has not deserted them. Without warning or reasons given, his posts have been blocked since Jan. 18. In particular he would like Paingirl to know that he never thought she had no mind nor that Ivan was a crypto-Nazi. It was all in fun. A pleasure as always.
    cheerio.

  4. A busy eatery doesn’t want you lingering over 3 cups of coffee. Eat your food, tip & leave. Who needs 3 cups of coffee? So you want all that plus food for under 5 bucks? Huh? With folks like you squatting for hours on a 5 dollar tab; How is the restaurant supposed to make any profit?

  5. Clarification: I’ve banned two users, Donairious and Seb. If you’re having trouble logging in or posting comments and you are not one of those two people then feel free to email me lindsayr@thecoast.ca… I’m looking into why this is happening… Life Sucks–did you ever figure out why it happened to you or how you fixed it?

  6. It happened to me about a month ago, but only on my work computer. It lasted exactly 7 days. I have no idea how or why it rectified itself.

    Montrealman – I have thoroughly enjoyed playing Caliban to your Prospero and look forward to doing it again.

  7. Moman, try emptying your cache and cookies-if you use firefox, under the tool menu, select clear recent history. A box will pop up and you can select what you want removed. Try selecting cookies and cache alone to see if that is enough, if not go back and clear out other stuff.

    And because a number of people have asked me what I made at my craft workshop on Saturday (Zero’s a number, right? ☺) here it is. Mine is on the right, my friend’s (the art teacher) is on the left.

    http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/9025/upcy…

  8. Vastie’s having an issue. He thought he was banned! Who would ban vastie? NOT BIRD!

    I had that issue for a couple days here at work then it fixed itself.

    CLEAN OUT YO’ COOKIES, VASTIE! LOG OUT AND BACK IN! WE NEED OUR VASTIE BACK!

  9. mine just started working again bird, and haven’t had any trouble since. but sometimes shit does happen, beyond our control.

  10. 2 of the bitchers that we love to hate, or vice versa. seb is funn sometimes, others he is just a dick. donarious is just a dick that seb would love to have, but put seb down every chance he can. for whatever reasons, they are long gone, and i for one, am sorry to see them go. they do provide comic relief, much like you get when you have a good shit.

  11. The same thing is happening to me that is happening to Montrealman. I found a work around by checking the box to subscribe to the thread and then hit enter. That way your post will be posted. I emailed Bird with the screen shot of what I see.

  12. Welcome back MTL Man. Is it working now Montrealman? Or did you use the work around? Mine still isn’t working.

  13. RSVPs

    Many thanks to all for your kind thoughts and offers of assistance. In particular, and in no particular order of importance, may I thank:

    : Dear Robyn (Feb. 7, 7:28PM)- If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here now. Since the keys are sticking horribly I feel that this might indeed be posted.

    : Bird (9:42AM) – The “r” after your e-mail address resulted in delivery failure and, of course, added anguish.

    : Xenophilia (11:05AM) – Xeno, you must realize that I possess only rudimentary stenographic skills. I reside, rather, at the conceptual level. I do, however have a connoisseur’s appreciation for magnificient labia.

    : Ivan (9:49AM) – Yes, we’ll have no more of that!

    : Paingirl(8:57AM) – Yes, Paingirl, and things wouldn’t be the same without you either.

    : Life Sucks (Feb. 6, 9:42AM) – Without Sucks, nothing. No one would ever have known. An honourable man.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

    (Now, I hope this posts!)

  14. I bet many people thought they were ban from posting. Funny because when it happened to me I didn’t see anyone saying anything about it. But I did notice a reduction in posts.

  15. Rats!! Painey beat me to the joint joke! I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your wolverine PG.

  16. ***
    : Xenophilia (11:05AM) – Xeno, you must realize that I possess only rudimentary stenographic skills
    ***
    I do indeed, realize the level of your general skillset, only too well (more’s the pity). That is why (notice the proper use of *that* instead of *which* svp) I gave you the step-by-step instructions.

    Are you saying that you do not use a keyboard for your comments? Tant pis you missed the dragon dictate bitch.

    Re: Seb and DB: surely this is a temporary suspension…I’m sure they’ll be back after a little time spent in Bird’s cooler…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdYIpbeuWrk&feature=related

  17. Hay Foodie. I don’t know how long you’ve been lurking before posting so here’s the condensed history. Donarious & Sebastain are a pair of long term regulars. Seb was so consistently obnoxious (not a major crime, here) that he became, in effect, an uber-troll. That being said, he could occasionally be hilariously funny. Donarious was also an expert crank-yanker, who took his obsessive loathing of Seb (a mental trait that I’m all too familiar with) to surreal levels of bile and vitriol. His monomaniacal attacks on Seb shocked some, but revealed a real gift for the usage of language and metaphor. Although he and I had some real donnybrooks, I found him the funnier of the two, by far. And he was the sort of bitcher that you could go mano a mano with one day, and have a great time riffing off of the next. (Usually by ripping on Seb).
    Add into this volatile mix, the occasional presence of some genuinely mentally disturbed individuals and I can see why the Moderator made the Solomonic decision to ban them both. I’ll miss Donarious. Sebastain , on the other hand, can go treat himself to a 3 month sex tour of East Africa, riding bareback all the way. I don’t give a toss. But, I wouldn’t have banned them.

  18. Test, Test -1-2-3
    ssssibilance…..sssssibilance….is this thing on?
    Hey Marty? A little more mid range on this monitor please….test test test

  19. …Come-in, Tokyo….(*squelch, hiss, crackle*) Hello fellow bitchers from the coldest, darkest depths of cyberspace…Brrrrr!
    Whadaya know, it WORKED!!
    Thanks for posting the work around, Dear Robyn. You’re a hero. I was going out of my mind not being able to post comments.
    I’m baaaaaaa-aaaaaaaack!

  20. Good Morning Painy!! (*hugs*) Good to see ya. I was getting a little worried myself to be honest. lol

  21. Vastie! Welcome home, my old son. For a couple of days there I was seriously afraid that you’d been renditioned to Gitmo for the World Junior Waterboard Championships. Are you making the scene at the rectangular round table this sunday?

    And big sloppy Russian cheek kisses to Dear Robyn for helping bring our lost children back to the fold. I pronounce you the Harriet Tubman of the interwebz. >; )

  22. Spasiba, Comrade Ivan.
    I got horribly off course and with no visible navigational aides, my sextant in the shop and the loss of my mizzen mast….(I couldn’t find it anywhere-it was mizzen *snort*) Thankfully, Robyn at “COAST” guard radio helped guide me back to dry land. Unattainable goddess-like status is forever bestowed upon thee. It feels good to be back.
    A HUGE thank you to ModBird and PK for the assistance and words of encouragement. (You were right, PK…Bird doesn’t bite! :P) I really appreciate it.
    As for the summit, regrettably, I don’t think I will be able to make it this sunday, dammit. (unless circumstances change) Have a ceasar or two in my memory 🙁

  23. THE ADVENTURES OF MONTREALMAN

    During the period when he was not able to post Montrealman kept busy and encountered adventures far from home. In New York, actually. He had previously scoped out the magazine “City Journal” (city_journal.org) on occasion but this time saw it had a comment section.

    City Journal is right-wing conservative – it’s the mouthpiece of the Manhattan Institute – and definitely pro-Jewish. Nothing wrong with the latter, of course, but the former was problematic, particularly in the field of education where many wanted to abolish teacher unions in California which they demonized as the source of all evil.

    Several articles atracted Montrealman’s attention and he proceeded to engage their substance as well as other commenters in vigorous debate. The articles are changed periodically but two are still up: Sol Stern’s “Hannah Arendt and The Origins of Israelophobia” is a slanderous attack on Arendt which might seem suprising since she was Jewish but there are those – Sol Stern is one – who will tolerate no criticism of Israel. I just wanted to point out, by direct quotation, the nature of the slander.

    The comments on Marcus A. Winter’s “How’s My Teaching?” drew the redneck element who wanted to ban teacher unions which they claimed merely protected “truly bad teachers.” One individual even Googled “Montrealman” back to The Coast, claimed that I was a career troll (where have I heard that before?) and pompously declared that our correspondence was at an end. Gratifyingly, his post, together with a response from me, were both deleted from the thread.

    To make a long story short I was – get this! – kicked off the site! Shades of The Coast! I couldn’t post (you’ll note that “How’s My Teaching?” has been “closed” while my further posts on Hannah were simply rejected out of hand). As I say, anyone interested can check them out. It was, however,just another chapter in the saga of …. Montrealman!

    RSVPs

    : Ivan (Feb. 8, 7:55AM) – I wouldn’t have banned them either. I’ve always enjoyed Seb’s sardonic take on things as well as Donairious’ diatribes against homosexuals which I interpreted as being more humourous than vicious.

    : Xenophilia (9:55PM)

    “Are you saying that you do not use a keyboard for your comments? Tant pis you missed the dragon bitch.”

    Another mysterious post from Xeno. Yes, dear, I use the keyboard – is there any other way? Hand gestures, maybe? And who is the dragon bitch? Not you by any chance? No, I’m sure not. Anyway, my comment in respect to your magnificent labia still stands!

    : Dear Robin (8:43PM) – You were banned as well, Dear Robin? Can’t beieve it. But you raise an interesting point: What does it take to be banned from commenting on Bitch? (Any chance of banning Hugo? Just a joke! A joke, I say!)

    While were bitching, does anyone else have a problem with the speed of Bitch? I usually put it on the full screen and then go check out other sites on half-screen while Bitch warms up. Eventually, yes eventually, it does and so I return, like a faithful puppy, to Bitch.

    Sorry for the length.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  24. Vastie – that was the nautical equivalent of my favorite Christmas story:
    http://media.photobucket.com/image/frederi…
    Way ahead of you on the caesar front. *glug*

    And, speaking of literature, Montrealman – that was like an unholy cross between “Manchild in the Promised Land” and “The Never-Ending Story”. Which is my crypto-Nazi way of saying – I missed you. But, I’ve been putting in a lot of range time and my aim is definitely improving.

  25. Welcome back, Montrealman. It sounds like you’ve had quite the adventure indeed.
    I experience the similar speed issues that you made comment to in your post. It seems to take a few extra seconds for the page to fully load onto my computer. An annoyance yes, but I stop short of calling it excessive or prohibitive. (and I know you didn’t say that. This is just my personal observation) How long does it typically take for the bitch page to load onto your computer, Montrealman? Is it consistently slow or does it fluctuate? For me, it seems to anywhere between 5 – 15, sometimes 20 seconds, depending on time of day and what, if anything, I have running in the background.

  26. For me, the coast loads very quickly on my laptop and very slowly on kindle fire. I also get ads on KF that are blocked on the laptop.

  27. it’s a sailing term my folks use. red buoy on the right when returning to harbour, or something like that

  28. OK, everyone I’m being told that the post comment buttons should be appearing now, you may need to refresh your browser. If you’re still having trouble please email me (lindsayr@thecoast.ca) with details on what browser you are using.

  29. RSVPs

    : Ivan (Feb. 8, 10:27AM)

    Why thank you Ivan. I initially thought that your reference to “The Never Ending Story” was a reference to my post “The Adventure of Montrealman” but the light gradually dawned. Also, “Manchild in the Promised Land” was a puzzle. Was the reference (“Manchild”, not “The Promised Land”) to me and, if so, could you clarify?

    : Avasto (10:27AM)

    “How long does it typically take for the bitch page to load on your computer, Montrealman?”

    The bitch page itself loads quite quickly but it is frozen – i.e., I cannot scroll down through the bitches and comments for about 10-15 minutes. I take it that is what you mean by “loading.” For example in the present case, in my usual fashion, after getting the Bitch page loaded I surfed over to “The Spectator Magazine” – one of my favourites – while waiting and then, in about 10 minutes, returned to Bitch and here I am. Your speed would leave me breathless.

    Another point: On the present comment thread I see that there are 41 posts while on the main Bitch page there are 43. That was the case before I started the RSVPs so I cannot be cutting them off.

    : Xenophilia (11:28AM)

    Yes, well it would load fast for you, wouldn’t it. You’re such a charmer and I love you dearly, but you already know that. And a Kindle! What can you get on a Kindle that you can’t get on your laptop? Or am I being stupid to ask? Instruct me Xeno, instruct me! I am putty in your hands. I can’t get you – or a part of you – out of my mind!

    : bird (2:38PM)

    Thanks for the e-mail and your efforts on my behalf. Fingers crossed and hope the technicians will sort it all out soon. Now, let’s see if this posts.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  30. Moman—did you empty your cache yet?

    Idk why your computer is loading so slowly, but with your reference to stenography, maybe you print on papyrus?

    lol at your crashing the city journal forum…what a short trip it was to drive those pinheads crazy!

    Finally, the kindle, aka my scrabble machine…it was a gift from Aesop. Wanted an i-pad, but that would be greedy, after I treated myself to the macbook pro…

  31. RSVP

    : Xenophilia (Feb. 8, 8:16PM)

    Yes, Xeno, I certainly would have emptied my “cache” if I had the faintest idea of what it was (or is). Your suggestion about papyrus is looking better every day. (Your references to kindle, an i-pad, and macbook pro, as you might have guessed, fell on uncomprehending ears – I guess that should read deaf ears and an uncomprehending mind. In any case, do you use any of these gadgets to store your collection of erotica and, if you do, would you mind sharing? Photos of your magnificent labia would be particularly welcome.)

    I think your reference to the “City Journal” authors as “pinheads” might be a bit rash if, by “pinheads” you mean those devoid of any thought content whatsoever. Names like Theodore Darymple, Kay Hymowitz come immediately to mind and they are certainly not pinheads. Neither, for that matter, is Sol Stern, the author of the piece on Hannah Arendt.

    I came to Arendt by way of her philosophy, particularly her classic, “The Human Condition,” which Stern, in his zeal to smear Hannah, did not even mention. However, I had just finished reading Daniel Meyer-Katkin’s “Strangers from Abroad,” a sympathetic biography of Hannah and the German existentialist Martin Heidegger. Unlike Stern, Hannah was not a Zionist in the sense that she wanted the creation of a state of Israel which she thought, as the result of the suppression of the Palestinians, would ironically recapitulate the Nazi oppression of the Jews. She wanted a “homeland” in which the Jews and Palestinians would live in harmony. For hard-line Zionists like Stern this was just eye-poppingly naive.

    A large part of Stern’s venom was reserved for Hannah’s affair with Martin Heidegger who, during the Nazi period, became President of the University of Frieberg. She was his student and eventually his mistress although he remained married to his wife. For Stern this was proof positive of her apostasy from the Jewish faith. However, Hannah separated the man (or philosopher) from his misguided membership in the Nazi Party – mistakenly, he hoped to “correct” it from within. Nothing of this appears in Stern’s account.

    I recently read, or more accurately, tried to read Heidegger, particularly his “What is Called Thinking?” Heidegger claimed that modern man has never actually engaged in thinking but, puzzlingly, thinking for Heidegger did not mean thinking about anything in particular, just thinking. Yes, just thinking. Man is called to think by “Being” but what he does after he has been called is not, to me at least, clear. I’m not sure if Heidegger was clear about it either, but Hannah was very impressed.

    Anyway, Xeno, don’t forget those photos from your collection of erotica.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  32. Ahh, here’s my little lost troll 🙂

    Anyways Sméagol, I’ve decided to give you a hand with speeding up your computer, so you’ll be better able to rise to the bait.

    First I’ll need some general information.
    Go to the “Start Button” at the bottom left corner of your screen – left click.
    Select from the menu “Computer” – right click.
    Select “Properties” – left click.
    A window/new screen will open.
    From this screen I’ll need: Operating System (eg. Windows 98, second edition), Processor, Memory(RAM), and System Type.

    Also, what programs are you running for Anti-Virus and Anit-Spyware?

    When’s the last time you had your computer sreviced?

  33. if he’s running win98 for an OS, I’m not sure how much faster you’ll be able to get it moving…

  34. Hugo left out the most crucial step. Locate the black plastic cord at the back of the computer. Follow it to the wall. Ensure that the “plug” is inserted gently but firmly into the “outlet”

  35. mmm computer porn…
    stick that plug firmly into the sssssssssssssssocket baby….
    now push my button hard to get me going…
    oooo yeah……
    just watch me light up with excitement…

  36. RSVPs

    : Hugo Phurst (Feb. 9, 10:59AM)

    As you might suspect, Hugo, computer technology bores me out of my mind. However, in the spirit of co-operation as indicated in your post, here is what I found out:

    Computer Type: Windows Vista Home Premium XP Notebook 2007

    Rating: 3.4 (Is that out of 4 or 10?)

    Memory: 3.00GB

    System Type: 64 bit operating system

    That’s about it. Any help?

    : paingirl (11:28AM)

    “I just felt the earth move, and now my heart is all aflutter.”

    Paingirl, my hopes were up but your visual, disappointingly, only showed two dogs. Could we manage something more, um, in the spirit of things?

    : zZz (12:46PM)

    See my post to Hugo above.

    (1:54PM)

    You mustn’t get excited. It’s all in the interests of my current research project.

    : Ivan (12:59PM)

    Yes Ivan, I did manage to secure the plug in the outlet and I can tell you now that felt damned proud of myself.

    Now, let’s wait for Xenophilia to respond. Will she share her erotica with us? Will she post a photo of her magnificent labia? Stay tuned!

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  37. Well MM, your computer should be running much faster than you describe. I really don’t have to know the processor type now.

    By your lack of answer, I’ll have to assume that you do not have any anti-virus or anti-spyware installed.

    Go to this site and get (FREE) Ad-Aware and AVG
    http://download.cnet.com/windows/?tag=bc
    If you can’t figure out how to do it, give some teenager $20 to do the install & setup of the software.

    Not having security software on a PC, is like not having snow tires….
    http://www.rnw.nl/data/files/images/lead/2…

  38. sebastard and mr fat would still be here, if they had learned to get along, like you two

  39. My posting problems appear to be resolved. It was because I upgraded to IE9 in January. But the Coast worked on it and it appears to be working now. No more work arounds to post.
    Is yours working properly now Montrealman?

  40. RSVPs

    : tommyjules (Feb. 9, 3:45PM)

    Such was my bemusement with computer technology it only occurred to me after I had posted that, of course, you were initially instrumental in the whole thing. Tommy, do you remember Xeno saying that she would pose for your camera doing naked snow angels in Massachusetts if you would give her a ride back to Halifax in your red Jap car? I have a very vivid visual imagination, Tommy, and can picture Xeno, at full extension, baring her magnificent labia for the camera. Of course things heated up in my masterful account of Xeno baring all again on the pool table in “The Lady in Red.”

    My question, Tommy, is this: Do you have any shots of Xeno, or more particularly, her luxuriant labia, popping up on your camera? Would you submit them for our inspection so that and we can compare those with the shots Xeno herself submits which, I hope, will be shortly.

    : Hugo Phurst (6:28PM)

    Many thanks for your efforts but the fact is that the delay occurs only with Bitch. (Tonight was a record.) Everything else is smooth sailing. I send you my love.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  41. RSVPs

    : Dear Robyn (Feb. 9, 7:44PM)

    Yes, Dear Robyn, my computer is now working very well. Your post popped up after my post appeared so I want you to know I wasn’t ignoring you. This morning “Bitch” came up very smoothly without any frozen screen so I was able to go directly to “Breakfast Joint” without “further ado” as they used to say somewhere. And thanks once again for your “work around,” an expresion I had never heard before.

    I have been reflecting on “Breakfast Joint” – I really have – and I think the philosophical angle might be that of “change,” a concept central, of course, to those two pre-Socratic giants, Heraclitus and Parmenides. Heraclitus maintained that everything changes, one way or the other. He proclaimed, “You cannot step twice into the same river since new waters are ever flowing in upon you.” So the poster, “Meals,” might be said to be witnessing Heraclitean change in action.

    Parmenides, on the other hand, maintained that nothing changes, at least fundamentally. While superficially things might assumne different forms, at base no new substance has been added to the world. So the Breakfast Joint was not changing in any fundamental way, just assuming a new form but its substance would persevere. My advice to “Meals” and his partner, as a consequence, is not to look for another breakfast joint but to engage in a reflective analysis of the Heraclitean/Parmendean concept of change.

    : Ivan (8:01PM) – “Garfield & Friends?”

    Nothing yet from Xeno. Do you think she has read my post yet? Do you think she is in a snit? And Tommy seems unusually reticent as well. Oh well, wait and see.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  42. Although I do occasionaly relish fried chicken, I am not the gangster who posted about Garfield and Friends. I do however, enjoy Nick Park’s “Chicken Run” with it’s references to “The Great Escape” and other classic P.O.W. camp movies.

  43. My first thought was hoax, like the hilarious “Hunting Bambi” lark a couple of years back.
    I’ll bet Wheelie would be really good at it. He’s badassssss! I can see him painting a silhouette on the side of his chair for every confirmed “kill”

  44. MoMan says :
    “Sorry about the length”

    Giggity.

    “A pleasure as always”

    Welcome home, Dennis. It’s nice to have you back.

    Paul

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