I know it’s November now, but every now and then I like to have my window open and let some fresh air into my apartment. One afternoon, while laying down to take a nap, I hear moaning in a nearby apartment. Ok, a couple is getting it on, don’t want to hear that. So I shut the window. I can still hear them! Not can I hear the moans and squeaky bed noises, I hear SMACKING NOISES!! This is beyond a disgusting thing to hear so I actually had to move to another room to take my nap (since I can’t sleep with music playing or with the tv on)! Seriously, do people have no shame? Why can’t they keep their window shut when they’re doing the deed? I seriously hope my note to them about the fact that I heard their sex turns their faces cat red. —Off to leave a detailed note to the neighbours about what I heard from them…
This article appears in Nov 25 – Dec 1, 2010.
What’s the big deal? If you live in an apt building you’re bound to hear that at some time or other. Maybe their window was closed, maybe you could just hear them through the walls/vents.
Somebody’s jealous ;D
HA! Like they’re going to give a shit what you heard.
They’ll be humping twice as much now that they know they have an audience.
I hear my upstairs neighbours doing it all the time. It sucks, but I’m sure the downstairs neighbours hate me for the same reason, so I can’t really get mad about it, lol.
I just sleep on the couch and think of how awesome it’ll be when I own a house and have privacy, haha.
can we say PRUDE I know you can. obviously you have sleeping issues. get ear plugs.
Stop being such a prude, OP. 😛
Give the address to the SleepStalker.
It was probably hot for them it is their house their window. You are the futhest thing from their mind and I am sure at the time they don’t really care if you can hear them or not.
You left them a note? That’s kind of tacky and creepy. My face wouldn’t turn red I’d just laugh at you and dub you the creepy neighbor. You live in an apartment so you have to put up with that shit. When I lived in an apartment building I always assumed there was an unspoken etiquette about hearing each others’ sex. Something like, “Try to be quiet, and if you hear someone else occasionally don’t mention it.”
They were just moaning and spanking, they could have been a lot louder. It doesn’t sound like they are keeping you up every single night either. Maybe after a couple weeks of no sleep a polite note would be in order, but after one time? For moaning and spanking? No. You’re basically telling them, “Don’t have sex in case I hear you.” Not gonna fly.
And smacking/spanking isn’t super disgusting, it’s actually pretty vanilla.
Maybe she was referring to ball slapping, snoop 😛
I would probably pull a chair up to the window, light a joint and tune into the moans and slaps for a bit. Call it creepy but I would probably start cheering them on after a while.
PK, ouch! I’ve never had the pleasure of dating a guy who was into CBT.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?
Sounds like they were so hot they needed the window open to cool things down.
Hugo, I’m glad you took the time to google it 🙂
… and no.
Play a really good recording of the 1812 Overture, really loudly so they can hear it. Time it so the cannons coincide with their moment of climax. Either that, or, the Benny Hill theme. Your call.
what does “cat red” mean?
Used to hear our neighbors every so often….
it was… interesting to say the least.
It was when they started shaking my bed that was up against the wall that I started to get perturbed….
luckily they were pretty quick
it’s called good sex, maybe you should try it sometime. let me know when.
I like you snoop, you’re funny, got an older sister? 😉
I think the ball slapping PK was refering to, is the sound produced by a mans testicles smacking a womans ass when the couple are in the missionary position, and the guy is vigoursly using his full stroke.
This might be TMI but I used to be those loud neighbours. At the time, I didn’t give two shits about who heard or how loud we were. Now I’m -1 and ronery, I am so ronery…..
Are you this ronery, Heathro?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xh_9QhRzJEs
There is nobody I can rerate to
It kind of sirry, but not rirry…. >: (
WOW Hugo, I want to meet the guy who has balls literally big enough to be heard slapping (in the way you describe) from the next room.
And thanks, I like you too… though I do not have an older sister 🙁
Maybe they want you to join OP. If not, you can always still rub a quick one off fantasizing about it.
I am most definitely one of those neighbours. I am loud and proud. Why would I stifle my moans and screams because of them??
I dunno what you guys are talking about. If I hear the smacking noises of my neighbors having sex … I’d be grossed out too. Sorry. It’s one thing to hear a moan now and then … but smack smack smack uh no thanks. Oh and for the women that say you can’t have sex without moaning … I reject that. Yes, you can. You can have quiet satisfying, curl my toes sex, it is possible. No need to scream like a damn banshee all the time. Oh don’t get mad. The same way you don’t have to scream during child birth you don’t have to scream during sex. It’s used for affirmation, not for any kind of pleasure. Contrary to popular belief, what you see in porn isn’t real!
The day your neighbor decides to play their music on the regular at loud for a few mins each day, you’d be piping up right away. So fuck off with this bull shit. Wait until you can afford your own private space to scream your head off, fuck sideways, over and under whenever you want.
Call me a prude, but I don’t want to hear your sex, I don’t want to see your sex, I could care less about your sex. Is nothing sacred anymore? Is NOTHING private? I don’t want to know about the size of your man’s wang, how you’re horny, how you’ve tried anal, how your box feels today, how many people you’ve slept with, when you last had thrush, how you like it, what your kink is, etc. TMI world TMI.
That being said, sex is completely natural and fantastic! It’s a wonderful thing that 2 ppl, or more;) do. Do it, do it many times, but be cognizant of those around you, and don’t be so arrogant as not to care.
WOW, that was a a huge rant …
See you biatches in 2011. Donk2electricboogaloo out for now!
Stay sexy y’all.
Yeah I believe the “smacking” noises the OP is referring to is the sound of the couples’ nether regions hitting one another during fast and hard sex.
Wow…way TMI. It’s starting to sound like Penthouse Forum around here.
Not impressed:(
There’s a lot to be said for maintaining one’s dignity and not having the neighbours snicker and cringe when they see you coming because they hear your bedroom activities all the time. Or worse, their kids have heard the commotion.
OP – You sound like a delight.
I am sure you are a stone cold fox who gets laid on a regular basis and doesn’t own even one single cat!
Your neighbours are getting it on porn-style and you are writing passive aggressive notes. Who is the winner in this scenario?
People fuck, that’s life. Simply return the favor next time you get laid.
Snoop….ahem. Hi.
Ahahahaha!
Beast thread ever.