Is today National Smelly Bus Day? I have to take 2 buses to get to university and it’s an unpleasant and long experience in itself, but please, can’t we have clean air on-board?
The first bus this morning smelled like wet cardboard mixed with urinal cakes. I didn’t see any cardboard. None hiding under the seats, not stuck to the ceiling or the windows. And no little pink pucks rolling along the floor. So where was that smell coming from? Not from outside because the damn smell lingered the entire 45 minute trip. Was it from a person?
At the Dartmouth terminal, I changed to the second bus, along with another crowd of people trying to get on. This one smelled fine… for about 2 minutes, then it hit. It must have been silent because it was truly deadly. Either someone shit themselves, or had a massive leak from their colonoscopy bag because it was rank. The driver had to ask people to open the windows! Fuck, it was cold outside this morning, but I would rather deal with negative temperatures versus the alternative of shit smell burning at my nostrils.
Tonight I am putting my nose plugs for swimming in my jacket pocket as a preventative measure for future transit foul odours. —Febreeze Please
This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.
Ppl tend to not shower in winter (don’t ask me why) op and then you get the spring stench … it’s true.
Nasty m-fers.
I was once hunkered down in a bookstore (no not Ivan’s palace of leisure) perusing titles on the bottom shelf when I was overcome by the smell of ass.
An older woman was standing behind me and it was obvious to my nostrils that she apparently hadn’t wiped her ass in a fortnight.
I don’t think it was a colostomy bag failure since she didn’t appear to be in a hurry to leave. She casually strolled the stacks chatting with the owner for at least 30 minutes after which, overcoming my bibliomaniac tendencies, I had to leave and get some fresh air.
Folks, when you shit your pants the very first thing on your mind should be getting home by the most direct route possible.
So….two buses and they both stank….the common denominator apparently is YOU! Wash your skanky self, please!
Ooooh that’s just nasty Farmer. Our place was once targeted by some young n’er-do-wells who set off a couple of those Stink-Bags that you can get from the freaky candy store. We never bothered to ramp up the “War On Terror” security apparatus because, well, we’re a pretty apathetic lot at the best of times. I’m still gunning for the bottom feeding minge-mange who hooked my 1/72 scale Tracker from the Nautical Room.
Thankfully I travel on stank-free busses in the morning (and afternoon). Usually the 9-5 drones who tend to smell quite lovely on my routes. There’s one cutie on the 33 I take sometimes in the morning who smells delightful. And a lady on my 35 that usually sits in front of me who must use some really pretty smelling shampoo because she smells delightful as well. 🙂
ALSO, just to piss zed off (heh): hot #10 bus driver from February is BACK (they put him on a route that’s 30 minutes later). He’s slightly geekier than i remembered, but he’s still a total cutie and always makes a special effort to help people out who don’t know their way around. I add him to the list of lovely drivers I’ve compiled 🙂
And while we’re on the topic of morning lovelies, the chick at a “parental” coffee shop at SS made my effing day. I poured out some coffee into my mug, put my stuff in it and when I went to get my wallet, I realized I had left it at home 🙁 I felt so bad an explained and she said since I’m a regular to not worry about it until Monday. My mom’s picking me up after work today so I’m going to get some cash from her and stop by on my way home. Hopefully she’s still working because I’m giving her a big fat tip for her kindness. If not, I’ll catch her on monday 🙂 Just thinking about it makes me want to start bawling because yesterday was the worst day of my life and that reeeally cheered me up!!! There are decent people in this world, everyone. And it’s the little things that matter. Remember that!
The few times I have taken the bus in the morning, it’s always smelt terrible. But one time in particular, the bus was smelling alright. Then all of a sudden it smelt like … well, pretty much what the OP described in regards to “shit”.
On another note, I was browsing through (and restraining myself from buying any more and adding to my hoard ;D) all the body wash and I was smelling them and it was like an overload of awesome smells, then some old man was walking past me and let out a loud fart. Then he walked a little further down and let out some more. I tried not to giggle. Then I looked to the right of me and some woman was glaring at me like I was the culprit! It sucked.
Sometimes insurance and gas is worth the price.
Nasty it was, Ivan, nasty it was.
I didn’t know you had handiwork displayed in the Nautical Room.
I am the official Artist-in-Residence *snort* The boss lets me hang model planes upstairs because SOBova doesn’t want our bedroom resembling the Battle of Britain. Testors glue is a harsh mistress but a testy wife is infinitely worse.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_les3q3jn…
Another one for the Bus Bitches. Some of those English Degree students should write a book about the unpleasantness of public transit.
Good idea but all the best titles have been taken:
http://media24.podbean.com/pb/1c664e22b55e…
http://www.faber.co.uk/site-media/onix-ima…
http://www.faber.co.uk/site-media/onix-ima…
That’s what happens when you take “PUBIC TRANSIT”, or is it “PUBLIC TRANSHIT”? That’s why I bought a vehicle…
you get on the bus in skeezville,… you’d better expect it to be filled with skeezies who don’t wipe.
http://74.220.215.204/~valcaria/yabbfiles/…
Look at dem lil ginger eyes, staring into your soul <3.
The 52, 4 and 2 seem to smell real bad a good chunk of the time. Kind of like rotting guts from all those infected gangrene stab wounded bums that get on in Fairview.
Some of my morning express routes go through Fairview, but most people on those buses have jobs and don’t tend to attract the welfare crowd that permeates said particular neighbourhood.
That and why get up at 6am when all you have to do is sit on your ass with yo’ 5 kids with 5 different baby daddies and collect them cheques?
Exactly.
maybe there was a rotten fetus hidden somewhere throughout the bus!?!?
too far??
No such thing here, Smurf.
Best bus route in the city, hands down, the 55 from the Sportsplex to Mwiwqx Mwawqx Mall. Nice neighborhood, civilized passengers, courteous drivers, nearly always on time.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestor…
PK, you hit the nail right on the head about the 2, 4 and 52. They are the worse! The 34 is also quite good in terms of odors (once in a blue moon, on the way home, a stinky ashtray will get on, they are usually on Gottigen…). But other than that, I like the 34.
No cute drivers though : (
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.…
It’s funny how the 4 and 52 seem to not be AS bad after they hit lacewood coming from FV.
The 2 always smells though.
I like to pretend the 52 and the 2 don’t exist.
All the express busses and the 21 going to and from DT during rush hour are alright. Well, I can think of ONE route of the 21 that’s pretty gross…. but the rest are a’ight.
They all reek of lack of soap which is strange because though they seem to not be able to afford soap, they can afford fancy phones and pay for data usage…
The 21 is okay, I just prefer the 34 because it’s an express bus and doesn’t go up Main.
sound the klaxons commander, survivor is back http://facebook-login-help.com/images/funn…
The 34 was my first choice when I lived super close to the terminal. Now the only express that comes up my way is the 35. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for that route 🙂 My mom LOVES her 21 though. She goes 40 minutes out of her way in the morning just to take that bus and get her coffee at SS and then takes the 1 over to the darkside. Crazy crazy woman!
Speaking of crazy woman and the bus, that particular crazy woman won’t let me take the bus home today because I’m kinda injured at the moment and not getting around too easily. I’m getting off early so she agreed that I could bus over to her office, but that’s it! Cause I ain’t waiting over here for an hour and a half! And my dad just called me and told me to listen to my mother. LOLZ. Parents. Gotta love ’em!
http://viz.cwrl.utexas.edu/files/Marc%20an…
HUH?
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4107/503760…
OMG. You can smell the cardboard and piss buses too?!
How about the groups of young men drenched in cologne. Rips the nostril tissues right out of your throat.
nah o.p., it’s not that day. just your oversensitive beak, or imagination working on you. fuck sakes, i can have a shower 50 times a day, and still think i smell my pits. over active imagination is what it is.
but if your nose is that keen, maybe you should hire yourself out as a sniffer hound to the border patrol?
I have the ability to shut off my sense of smell for the most part. Because of this, I can’t weigh in on this olfactory discussion.
LS – it’s called deodorant, use some..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6q9nBusrq8 The perfect soundtrack for the bitch.