I’ve invested nearly $10,000 in you.
Sure, my teeth are straight now. But even though I had jaw surgery and all of my wisdom teeth out to make more room, they still don’t meet. My mouth still hurts. This was supposed to be fixed and now I have to go and get MORE surgery.
On top of that, I have to have a gum graft. And a filling. And I have to get my back molars shaved down because now they’re too big and causing more problems.
Mouth, I’ve spent a lot of money on you. I’ve ingested a lot of painkillers to get you to shut up, to no avail. We’ve been through surgeries, cleanings, drillings, fillings, braces, everything together. When will it be enough? Why can’t you just stop hurting for fucks sakes?
—Foul Mouth
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2009.
Of that 10K in surgery, how much was cosmetic?
I don’t know of anyone who has had their jaw broken to make themselves look prettier; that shit hurts and your mouth is wired shut for a long time.
I wired my mouth shut to lose weight.
Dr. Fever, none of that was cosmetic, or at least, the cosmetic “benefits” weren’t what I was going for.. I was told I’d have to have the surgery or else the pain in my mouth would get worse and develop into arthritis, which would blow since I’d rather not spend the second half of my life eating apple sauce. The actual physical changes in my face weren’t actually that great, I liked it better when my jaw was in a different place! That and it fucking sucked to only be able to drink your food for a month.. I lost 10lbs in less than a week, which isn’t good when you’re only 115 to begin with. Bah!!
Heh my parents insisted on braces, kept going on about how people would react to me better with straight teeth, better tooth health etc. Everyone even my orthodontist failed to mention the splitting migrane like headaches I’d get if I even slightly grind my teeth due to stress.
If I ever have kids I’ll have wisdom teeth taken out, but braces only if they can guarantee no pain and no need for retainers for the rest of their life.
I’m glad I went ahead and got the braces, because its really improved my confidence, my smile is much nicer. But the failed surgery, the grafts, having to shave my teeth down, and having to get more surgery, just so I don’t have to live in pain and someday be able to eat a nice chewy steak again… 🙁 Not cool!