I know this is going to sound totally shallow, but you’re getting too fat. When I met you, you were a bit chubbier then most women I’ve dated, but we really clicked. And we still do. I just don’t click so much with the 40 lbs that have made camp around your middle in under a year.
I know, I’m supposed to love you for what’s inside and all that goodness. I can’t tell you what I really think, because you mean a lot to me and I don’t want to lose you. When we met I made an extra effort to go to the gym so I could look good for you, and feel good for me. I feel great. But you slowly started packing it on, to the point where its become painfully obvious. Girl on top has become a chore for you, and I’ve lost a great view due to the belly hang.
Not only that, it has totally affected your mood and confidence—both of which plummeted. I feel like an ass, but I’m admitting it, I’m finding your body and new pessimistic outlook less and less attractive. I’ve tried asking if anything is bothering you, if you’re worried or sad, making you healthy food, taking you for walks—I’m genuinely concerned—both for your well-being and our relationship.
If I bring it up, I look like a shallow prick. I’m afraid to say anything because if I do, and you gain more, you’ll be even more upset. I’m not asking for you to try just for me (ok, slightly partially for me, hey, I’m being honest) but you are miserable and we all miss your smile. —FatSad GF = Confused/Frustrated/Worried BF
This article appears in Mar 10-16, 2011.
Start slipping her diet pills mixed in her pop.
take up surfing !
then turn off the lights jump on top & ride the ‘waves’ ~;)
I 100% agree with this bitch OP and I don’t think you should feel sorry for the way you feel – because you obviously love her very much but she’s no longer the person you fell in love with. When people get heavier they feel bad about themselves and they become pretty negative….and unhealthy….I don’t know your GF so I can’t say to talk to her because she may get all offended…but if you can’t be honest in a relationship then maybe you shouldn’t be in it with that person. Me and my BF had a no getting fat rule when we started dating as a joke and now he’s put on more baby weight then me…lol. But I still love him….and it makes me feel a little less chubby.
*facepalm*
Oh. Shit.
Well OB, it’s a good thing you’re not married cause you’d have to stick to the “for better or for worse” vow no matter what. At least now you can dump her ass and make her take a long hard look at herself. Although maybe it will backfire and she would determine that she needs to start taking care of herself. One day you’ll run into her and she’ll be super hot and you’ll be left ruing the day you just didn’t help her see the light instead of breaking up with her. As far as I am concerned though, sometimes you just can’t look beyond something like this. Mr. dick wants what he wants and if he doesn’t want, there is nothing you can do about it.
Maybe you can suggest doing things that get both of you outside and active. The spring is coming and there will be plenty of opportunity for activity. If you care for her alot you can find a way to make things work. If she still insists on being lazy and ends up not changing, you have all the reason to end it and not feel like an idiot.
Not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings is one thing, to disregard your own well-being is another.
Let’s take a look at the possible scenarios:
A. You tell her how you feel and offer to help, she takes corrective action, loses weight and becomes confident and optimistic again. She’s happy and you’re happy. Winning.
B. You tell her how you feel and offer to help, she doesn’t take corrective action and sinks further into low self-esteem/pessimism/depression and gets angry at you for being honest and expressing your concerns. You break up and move on. Winning.
C. You don’t tell her how you feel, she continues on her current course of weight gain and depression and you progressively become as miserable and pessimistic as your GF. You settle for an unsatisfying relationship and terrible sex life. Losing.
You can try to help her change her ways- Honesty is the best policy 99% of the time anyway. If she put on 40lbs in a year then clearly there are serious problems ahead and if she doesn’t change things now, every year it will get worse and worse. Sexual attraction is important in most relationships and if its not there now, it wont be when the problem gets worse. Talk to her, help her out, if shit hits the fan then its time to DTMFA.
That said, I hope everything works out for the best and you two manage to change lifestyles enough to feel better and stick together. Good luck.
you don’t sound shallow o.p., you fucking well are. and an asshole to boot. i hope she sees this, and boots your sorry fucking ass out the door. either you care for her, or you don’t. what happens to you, if they age, holy fuck, gonna find a younger chick? young chicks really don’t want older guys, unles they have a huge cock, or a ton of money.
get the fuck over your petty little self, you fuckhead. i wish i knew who and where you are, i would give your lady a look at this bitch, and then watch your ass go flying. you, are a douchebag, of the highest calibre.
LIFE SUCKS you are most likely severely disillusioned/ignorant.. Although I am leaning more toward the possibility that you are, instead, so hard up to get laid you’ll say anything to anyone to get them into your pile of trash bags for a romp.
trollfight!
A 40lb weight gain translates to the weight of TTFN’s starboard titty 🙂 – based on her posts regarding the zeppelins.
40 Lbs in a year could be a sign of a medical problem like polycystic ovarian syndrome (which incidentally is a pre-diabetic condition!). Best to bring it up with your health concerns, offer to be as supportive as you can, help when you can, and lie like hell when she asks you if you find her disgusting.
kerflunky, and you think you know what again? dude/dudette, you are so toally fucking wrong, on a lot of things.
“Am I fat”?
Place answer here.
Haha….. Are we placing wagers on this troll fight? And what do we have for a venue? I’d suggest the sidewalk in front of Dutchies but it’s not open anymore. Epic.. haha
You know what they say… “it’s not ogre til the fat lady sings”
frenchie said it best…… you are in a relationship and if you cant talk to her about this then there is something fundamentally wrong with it.
maybe she just needs a reality check from you to kick her into action.
you sound like you care about her a lot so just tell her….. its up to her from there
I remember a similar situation came up in Savage Love a few years back. His advice then was that the man should talk to her about it, give her a chance to try losing the weight/ see a doctor for medical conditions, and if she doesn’t, or refuses, DTMFA.
My advice; if it bugs you so much, speak now, or forever hold your peace. Also, see if anything you’re doing or cooking is having a weight gain effect on her.
OP, been there done that.
From experience and to be honest with you, and I know it’s hard, but you either tell her how you feel or leave. At least she didn’t blame you for all the weight gain.
She actually ended up blaming me. I have no idea why. I couldn’t handle all the bs and got out. So honestly, if you made the effort to stay in shape for her and look good for her and she completely ignored it, and did the opposite, she doesn’t deserve the effort, and this also works for women. Ladies, if the male is not willing to take care of himself for you, there’s no point. He should want to stay the same or better as he met you.
OP, need more info. If she can’t go anywhere without stuffing a Big Mac into her craw then you may as well confront her now. It will only get worse. So decide now whether it is for better or bigger!!
Everyone has a limit to what they find sexy, and if the other person won’t stop stuffing their mug then either live with it or time to find another babe. If you can’t get wood cuz of the view then that may be a deal breaker!!!