Multibitch About Morons

I was out and about today, and I saw some of the most moronic things ever. So here are some open letters in order of stupidity.

1) Dear gansta-rap-star parents:
If you cannot afford proper safety seating for your newborn, DO NOT take them in your car. Holding a baby in your arms in the backseat while your moron baby daddy speeds through the parking lot doing donuts just shows the world that if the poor child actually gets to grow up, s/he is going to be swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool and bringing the rest of humanity down.

2) Dear Self-checkout “supervisor”:
I know it’s tough to stand there all day watching people do a job you apparently aren’t capable of, but when a package of raw meat busts open on the scanner, and I come asking if you have anything to clean up the blood with, “There’s paper towel in the bathroom,” is not the appropriate response.

3) Dear people “catching up” at the entrance to a busy store:
Get out of the f’ing way! Seriously! It’s a beautiful day, go OUT the door and off to the side! People can’t get past you and your two carts and your bored children. And dirty looks when someone politely says “excuse me” is NOT the way to go. Go jabber about your welfare cheques being late somewhere else. —I Have ZERO Patience

This article appears in Apr 7-13, 2011.