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ok.. so.. i write a big rant about people who have absolutly no manners and are chomping and slurping and being rude while eating..
and i go and hit “submit” and hit “search” losing my whole bitch..
so now im bitching about that search button .. is it possible to move it down a few inches?
This article appears in Mar 27 – Apr 2, 2008.
34 Comments
i’d rather you bitch about the sloppy eaters.
sure miles, i was just frustrated with the search button, but now that ive calmed down, ill bitch about people..people who eat with their mouths open deserve a swift kick in the ass! There is no need to speak when you have food in your mouth unless it is an emergency.. it is rude and makes you look like a pig..Have your parents not tought you any manners? You are 23 and a woman to boot!I had a few friends over for diner lastnight, and one of them always felt the need to speak as she was shovling the food in her mouth.. the house was not on fire.. SHUT UP AND CHEW..oh..then theres chewing..if i can see your food… YOU ARE RUDE! close your damn mouth!!I was twitching at the diner table.. myself.. trying NOT TO BE RUDE.. and spaz out, grab the duct tape and close it for her.. arghnow im angry about it again.. thanks miles lol
She may have sinus problems and be unable to breathe through her nose, and thus unable to chew and breathe at once. I used to have this problem and would be embarrassed if in company, so I’d chew with napkin in front of my mouth. That probably looked pretty silly too!!
A napkin is MUCH better then seeing the food! 🙂
no nasal problem.. just a pig
Yes! The only thing WORSE than a slurper, is someone who eats while they’re talking on the phone. I’ve got a friend who constantly does this. It’s as if being on the phone triggers some kind of appetite, and it can’t be quiet food! Oh no..nothing but chips and crackers and anything else that sounds like she’s breaking rocks with her teeth. If you think it’s rude to let someone go to eat, think again. Chewing while talking on the phone is plain nasty. Jammie makes a good point about sloppy eaters..a sinus problem is something that could be easily be mistaken for poor manners, but good manners are actually holding a napkin up to cover your mouth. 🙂
I used to have that sinus thing, too, Jammie, and even though it’s gone now since a few years I still catch myself covering my mouth when I chew. The worst part about it for me was trying to breathe at night – I would wake up and my mouth would be so dry. Really gross.Poop, I’m going to have to disagree with slurping being the most disgusting thing you can do when you’re on the phone with someone. Two people I’m very close to are phone poopers. It’s revolting. I’ll be talking to one of them for a half hour and all of a sudden hear the toilet flush, NOT preceded by the clearly audible sounds of peeing. I’m not as much as a phone person as I used to be.
Qwerty, you’re right. Phone poopers top the list for sure.
has anyone else hit that damn search button instead od sumbit? or is it just me lol
has anyone else hit that damn search button instead of sumbit? or is it just me lol
Yup, I’ve done it.
lalala, looks like you hit submit twice the last time ;-P
just had to make sure that time rofl
phone poopers LMFAOkinda gagging and laughing at the same time here…love iti had a friend years ago whose sister would leave the bathroom door open – there was a small bathroom just off the den – while she did #1 or #2, and keep on talking to usit made me a lil uncomfortable…
I don’t even like people talking to me while I’m in the bathroom. I’m sure it can wait the 2 minutes I’ll be in there, then we can continue our conversation. I wouldn’t want to use someone’s phone if I knew they were a phone pooper. I don’t imagine you hear them washing it down after.
What’s so damn important that these people can’t wait the couple of minutes it takes to squish one out? If it’s that urgent, maybe your crap can wait.
Once I was using a public stall and the girl next to me went “Hello?…. Hello?” I thought maybe she needed t.p. so I said “Hello” back, then she started having a conversation with the person she was on her CELL PHONE with. I was so embarassed, I ran out without even washing my hands I think.
i am laughing so hard at qwerty’s last story that i just pooped a littlenew best story ever
Sadly, I have quite a few in the vault. Most of them involve falling down or hitting my head on things.
I did the same thing once, Qwerty! I was visiting some friends in a very quaint Saskatchewan town, and one of the nights i spent there, they had their annual street party. So, i embarassed myself in the bathroom, (EXACT same story as yours), then after drinking my bodyweight in rye, i embarrassed myself yet again by face planting in onto the dancefloor. Let’s just say i haven’t been back since. Hehe.
the very first phone call i received on my cell phone was while I was at a urinal half way through a wizz and it startled me so much i pissed on my shoes. I am not a big fan of cell phones and washrooms.
While we’re on the subject of bathroom stories, my old boss used to call me at the office from the toilet cubicle in our bldg’s washroom, dictating letters to the sweet sounds of braaacccccc, phhhhttttt and phooot. Didn’t bother him in the least.
Most embarassing story?Nearly missing my bus one rainy morning, the driver idled at the stop and waited for me to run down the hill so i could make it. So after getting on, i reach into my (soaking wet) bag for my buspass, and with it, i pull out: not one, not two, but THREE fucking tampons. Of course, with my hands being so wet, the wrapers on them stuck to my skin, but not for long..just long enough for the bus driver to see them, of course then they fell to the floor so all of the other passengers could get a good look. I watched the driver’s facial expression go from confusion, to surprise, to amusement, and finally pity. Not to mention the snickering from all sides, which noone cared to be discreet about.Oh yeah. So very brutal indeed.Ok, your turn. 🙂
LMAO Miles that’s hilarious andLMAO TTFN that is WRETCHED! hahaha
poop that puts a different twist on a particular brand of tampons when they say “have a happy period”
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA Poop you must have DIED!
LOL @ TTFN! Hah..that’s priceless.
TTFN, That is a riot. I’d rather fart in public than on a toilet. The resonance you get from the bowl just amplifies everything. And then your boss goes and advertises it by chatting on the phone while in the shitter. GROSS. you should have wrote the fart noises into your dictations. Poop, I am soooo glad I am not a girl and have to cart around tampons, I think it really minimizes my embarassing stories.
Phone Poopers.. ROFLMAO… ok.. Since checking in to read the threads, I havent stopped laughing yet….I am pretty sure, I laughed the hardest when I read about Miles pissing on his shoes… If You just picture it in your head…. PRICELESS!!!!omfg.. Still laughing….poop, omfg.. I would have DIED! (and probably walked, lol)
I think if The Coast ever decides to publish in print the comment section from one of the previous week’s bitch, this would be the one to go with. It’s awesome.
Qwerty: I did die. I die a little inside every time i recap that morning.
TTFN when I first read your post I must have been half asleep becuase I thought you were saying your boss called you into the bathroom to dictate letters to you while he was taking a crap.. hahahahahahaha I’m so dumb.
When I was (much) younger I was eating a blizzard with chunks of chocolate in it, then I was too full to finish it and all that was left was the brownie balls and chocolate chunks so me & my friend dumped it into the toilet at work and left it… we left pieces on the seat and everything.(I do have a heart though – I went back in and cleaned it up before the cleaners were due.)
.. and i did it again… *twitch*