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If you choose to stand still on an escalator, stay to the right. Some of us choose to walk – up and down – and you’re slowing us the fuck down!
—Pablo Escalator.
This article appears in Feb 4-10, 2010.
61 Comments
Who cares? It makes all of 10 seconds difference. It must be nice to have such a simple easy life where your only complaint is that you’re beign “forced” to take your time. Chill the fuck out and enjoy the view of my ass while I stand directly in the middle of the step.
You can stand there, slack-jawed, looking like the total tool you are Distracted and that is your perogative. However, if you don’t move your lazy ass out of the way when I say “excuse me” while I’m walking up the escalator, be fully prepared to get hip checked to one side.
Agreed with NW. If asked, move.
well yeah, but most people will grunt or sigh.
take the extra few seconds…. it’s not life or death getting to the top that quickly.
now people who just stand there on the down escalator… what the fuck for?
gravity is doing all the work for you, fucking walk.
I’d move if someone asked nicely. But I haven’t ever even been asked… let alone nicely. Some people choose to stand unnaturally close behind you instead of saying “excuse me” tapping their fingernails impatiently, huffing, and checking the time unnecessarily often. Other people decide to shove you out of the way without a word or warning instead of saying “pardon me”. But they’re all assholes.
“it’s not life or death getting to the top that quickly.” It’s not life or death to move to the side either. I agree with the op. Just stand to the right, share the path.
Yawn..boring bitch.
USE THE STAIRS!!
I’m with the OP on this one. I’m restless, a fast walker, and people usually decide to jus stand idiotically on the escalator an inconvienent times… Like when I need to get to work, or catch a bus
727, most places with escalators don’t have stairs… Unless the escalators aren’t working, well, then… ya….
Just think fizz you could avoid all that shit if you stood to the right.
747-If you want to stand still and let nobody pass take the ELEVATOR.
I’m sure it’s not life or death if the person doesn’t move to give you that extra 20 seconds.
I was more-so talking about the tiny escalators like in barrington place shops… where they huff and puff and breathe all over your neck because you aren’t walking…
and those there isn’t a place to move over.
now the wide ones like at the mall, I’ll agree with balls… but only on that one condition.
As I’ve said before, that never happens to me.
I park at the Casino, & take the walkways all the way to the ticket sellers windows of the Metro Centre. Never has anyone ever crowded me in those narrow escalators.
Being a large ugly Mother F^(#*@ is obviously good for something…but I would love for some internet tough guy like Never Wrong to attempt that shit of his sometime. But instead of your hip…I strongly urge you to bring a baseball bat, you’ll need it.
Bravo OP! Hear Hear! Well said!
No Fever, it is not life or death but is it sooooo very difficult to stand to the right so that those who wish to walk can do so? I don’t understand why anyone would have a problem standing to the right. Why does this need to be such a hard concept to grasp and put into practice? It is the difference between being conscious and considerate of others or being full of self-entitlement to the exclusion of others. It’s up to the individual to decide which action better suits their character.
You are one of those impatient (and dangerous) folks that speed down the street just to get to the next red light, aren’t you?
Whatever… hurry along in your life, but don’t expect me to have a heart attack along with you. I’m stopping to smell the roses, or ride the escalator, as the case may be.
I guess you could leave the house 5 minutes earlier and then you wouldn’t be late all the time.
Bibendum…nicely put.
I also get a laugh out of those who like to try to get their speed up to 100KMH’s from light to light or stop sign to stop sign. It is quite funny when you see them. So Calm down, it’s not like your on fiire…& if you are on fire ,running is one of the worst things you can do !
Good luck on trying to push, check, or move me/ LOL
Bibendum…how exactly does standing to the right produce cardiac arrest? It’s not about being late. I don’t walk up escalators for speed. I do it for a) exercise and b) I like to keep my momentum going because my legs don’t automatically stop working once my feet touch an escalator. So far I haven’t seen any roses to stop and smell on the escalators I’ve travelled.
Truth is: there are TWO types of escalator users -walkers and standers-. There is no reason why both cannot accomodate the requirements of the other when sharing these public devices. Inconsideration not required.
offside: i hate escalators and when thats the only choice and they’re broken i always spaz out walking up them
call me racist whatever but the absolute worst offenders often hail from a certain eastern country; and they give you the look if you ask them to move(often the bewilderd non understanding look)
Breathe deeply and enjoy life.
I agree with OP, Oceanlady and neverwrong…that ’20 seconds’ can make or break the difference of me getting to the check in desk ahead of the family of Arabs with 20 suitcases, or the never-ending stream of excited students head to Antigua to ‘change the world’ as they drink cheap seco and try to get laid in the third world…
The worst offenders are the “standing right, with jumbo suitcase perched stubbornly on the left” like two tin soldiers guarding their little kingdom from people with a life…
And those that defend people who block the passage ways have obviously never travelled for anything but their yearly vacation – “I’m not in a hurry to get to my all-inclusive in Cancun (with bus tour to the “jungle” (lunch included))…so why should anyone ELSE be?!”
Fuck you, get your ipod-wearing, comfy tourist-garbing, Cuba-visiting, yearly vacationing, loud english-speaking, Lonely Planet-carrying, laptop-hugging, bra-less-on-the-plane, wide-eyed and bum-mouthed faced arses outta my fucking way…I got places to go, and I’m late…
I disagree Ocean, as most escalators barely have enough room to stand to one side and have someone move past you comfortably.
Do you get angry when someone holds the “door open button” on the elevator, inconveniencing you for that extra 5 seconds?
I don’t know how big the rest of you are…but the only way I can “stand to one side” of those skinny escalators in the Delta Barrington (for example) is if I jump into the other side !
There is no possible way I can stand to one side & you get by me…unless your a sheet of paper & not worried about getting some wrinkles !
What part of 6’1″+ & weighing 265 lbs do you not understand ?
I don’t get angry about escalators OR elevators Dr F. I’ve already said it’s not about the time, it is about the momentum. Most (not all) escalators I’ve been on are wide enough for two people to stand side by side conversing instead of standing single file (—> to the right please) so passing to the left is an option. Obviously on single width capacity escalators passing is not an option but where it is it is only common courtesy to stand to the right to allow walkers to pass to the left. Not such a difficult concept to grasp and practice really.
Sorry Ocean lady..but the bench size escalators…I sit down on!
You want to climb over me…that’s fine, but I won’t promise not to look up your dress ~:)
gee, moving stairs. what will they think of next.
I just don’t understand how someone could get all bent out of shape for the sake of a few seconds. Yes, I do understand the concept of standing to one side, and when I’m on an escalator, if I’m not walking up or down it, I do. I bet this person gets all bent out of shape on the single file escalators like the ones at Scotia Square or Alderney Landing.
My point is: regardless of whether or not it’s “common courtesy” or some “momentum”(is the extra push from the escalator going to give you an extra 1 KPH boost? Not really, it’s only perceived) bullshit, it’s only a few seconds at most. You’re not climbing up the CN fucking tower.
Dr fever…you’ve answered your own question – you say; “Yes, I do understand the concept of standing to one side, and when I’m on an escalator, if I’m not walking up or down it, I do.”
So why argue the OP? It’s a good bitch, and you know it…
I’m only commenting on how some may not, and in fact, it’s nothing to get all pissy about.
The *best* is when you purposely not walk down/up the escalator when you’re on a tiny one like at Barrington Place Shops and you get the huffing and puffing. Call it an asshole move, but it takes all of 5-10 seconds to go up/down so chill the fuck out. And if you’re THAT impatient…you deserve some fucking with.
do it like I’ve witnessed in some of the bigger cities, and just fluff out your chest and plow people out of your way and go…otherwise your just going to have to stand there waiting like the majority tend to do.
I agree with the OP! Stand right, walk left. Valid fucking bitch.
It’s funny, Halifax is one of the few cities I’ve been in where people don’t seem to do it at all. I’ve done a fair bit of traveling, and I’ve noticed that it’s generally in the bigger cities where people do this. I wish we would do it too. It’s SO easy, I don’t see what the big problem is. Why not do it? It’s more efficient, and everyone’s happy.
Here’s the end of this bitch: escalators like the ones at Mic Mac Mall, keep to the right if you’re going to stand. Escalators like the ones at Barrington Place Shops, walkers have to suck it up and wait the extra 5 seconds. Easy?
perhaps we should put nice yellow lines on every other step so it looks more like a passing lane or something….
would that sort out the problem in a more subliminal way?
Prety Kitty…You forgot to mention, fuckin’ with these self important arseholes is the most fun you can have riding the escalator. If you are all in such a damn hurry !
Why Are you behind me ? ~:p
You do realise that our fearless Mayor Bumble reads these columns and I forecast a consultants report will be forthcoming on the correct useage and placement thereof when using escalators in HRM/Halifax/Greater Halifax** ** to be determined at yet another in camera borefest with the wheezers in City Council aka wankers r us
Oh my God – really??!! How important are you that you can’t take the time of an escalator trip to just relax and stand still – what is it – all of 20 seconds. If you’re in that much of a rush, go find a flight of stairs and run up them, betcha the escalator gets you there in the same amount of time. Or (and I know it’s a wild thought) open your mouth and dust of some manners and say excuse me. Come down off your the world revolves around me pedestal and realize that those people who are also using the escalator probably didn’t wake up hoping to inconvenience you and bring your day to a grinding halt by standing on the escalator. Give me a break.
How important are you that you can’t just step to the side? That argument goes both ways. The lesson here is that the escalator is a shared space, so everyone needs to adopt a sharing attitude or they will come off as being self-important assholes. If someone is in your way, ask politely for them to move. If you are standing on an escalator, be considerate and stand to the side. How complicated is that?
I’ve been to London where people do the stand on the right/walk on the left thing but there are SIGNS to let people know to do this. Maybe those of you in such a rush, with all your excess energy could put up some signs, alerting people to the “rules”?
As for the “I lose my momentum” comments…do what joggers do when faced with something that slows them down temporarily…walk in place, or wait at the bottom of the escalator, walking around and around in a circle, until you have a clear path.
As for the folks missing their buses or what have you…if 20 seconds is making that huge a difference, you might want to consider leaving earlier.
(and, no, I’m not one of the ‘inconsiderate’ ones, I do stand to the right whenever I can – it just seems like we have almost as many boring escalator bitches as we do boring breakups or boring bus bitches…the difference is that the escalator one is the same bitch over and over)
More: Oooohhhh! You’re so fucking scary Mr Keyboard Warrior. “Bring a baseball bat”… Shut the fuck up you useless twat. So you’re 6’1” and 265lbs… Is that supposed to be intimidating fat ass? If you’re the type of cocksucker that won’t move when someone says “excuse me”, then you deserve a hip check to get the fuck out of my way. It’s assholes like you who think they’re too important to make room for someone else to go by that make this a valid bitch in the first place.
Miles, you have it right. How are people even arguing about this?
Wait, why am I? Uh oh, I gotta get out of here.
Never Wrong, when I am traveling the pedway, I always wear a blue Helly Hanson Jacket. It is ALWAYS open, I don’t feel cold the way others do… I also Always wear shorts. I have black hair, longish, I have no bald spot, glasses or any other distingushing things I can say except I usually -not always- have a black back pack, that I carry over 1 shoulder.
Please come up & hip check me, or try any of your smart ass moves, any time any where asshole & we’ll see just who lands on their ass.
Balls in your court, want to give me a discription ?
you two are going too get a “doesn’t bitch well with others” note on your report:)
*thinks of someone he wants to have the crap bead out of….*
More: What is this, elementary? “Meet me out by the swingset after school. Or you’re dead!”. You’re fucking pathetic buddy. You pull the keyboard warrior routine and get all fired up when you’re called out on it. You are a sad, sad person. You have my sympathies. You’re essentially admitting that you’re a complete asshole because you won’t move, even if someone says “excuse me”. You’re one of these douchebags that feeds right into Kay’s “typical Haligonian” shit. I don’t care how “big” you think you are fella, I’ll still hip check you on my way by if you won’t move your fat ass out of my way.
i was talking to an otis guy about this. he said that the moving steps are meant to stand on and wait til they get to where they are going. if you or anyone else rides these things, start walking/running up/down, if you get hurt, it is your own damn fault. they are not meant to be used as a treadmill under any conditiobns. if you try to sue, because you tripped/fell/whatever, you will lose, and have to pay a counter suit for false claims. just saying here. so,to all you assholes who run/walk up/down, beware, you are fucked, if you do get hurt, by your own stupidty.
LS: Sorry, but no way I’m going to take the Otis guy’s word for it. Of course he’s going to tell you that. They a) want to cover their asses and b) want you to stand on them to increase the wear on them and increase the need for service. Although, I agree with you that people shouldn’t be able to sue someone because of their own stupid actions. Have you ever seen the interview with Selma Hayek where she tells the story about running down an escalator because she had to pee really badly and ends up with her dress caught in the bottom of the escalator for 3 hours?
Always wrong, your the one who started talking about hurting people. I’m not the kind of person who’ll back down from threats, I’ve never had a bully problem when I went to school because I refused to take their shit , just like I won’t take yours.
You want to write in here how your going to hip check or hit someone…You don’t have to go far asshole, I’ll meet you anytime at those escalators.
If you actually read instead of JUMPED on a comment, you’d see where I said the narrow escalators give you NO ROOM TO MOVE ASIDE.
But i’ll never back down from you or anyone else.
I noticed you haven’t the balls to give me your description , who’s the keyboard warrior now …coward…sorry , thinking about it, you give cowards a bad name.
Your an internet bulley, which is someone so damn lame they’re afraid to bully someone in real life. You talk big, cause that’s all you got. I see your still planing on hip checking me …sure you are LOL
If you like I’ll even let you know what day I next have to travel that route & give you the time I should be going up & coming back down.
While I’m slated to be in the valley & the Darkside in the next couple of weeks, I’ll be there in March for sure. You want to harm someone on an escalator…you can start with me.
More: “However, if you don’t move your lazy ass out of the way when I say “excuse me” while I’m walking up the escalator, be fully prepared to get hip checked to one side.” <- Learn to read ass clown. Where in my post does it say I'm going to hit someone or hurt them? Not everyone hip checks like Chelios. And when the fuck was I talking about narrow escalators? Never. You're the one who's assuming that I expect you to move on the narrow (and useless thanks to fat fucks like you) escalators in S.S.
“I noticed you haven’t the balls to give me your description” <-Are you fucking crazy? As it is you're already coming across as a complete fucking nut job. Like I'm going to give you any indication whatsoever as to what I look like or where I work. For all I know you're some serial homo rapist, looking for his next victim. You're the one who started in with baseball bats and what not. Fucking lunatic.
This is fun stuff. I walk those pedways at least 3 times a day, I’m going to be on the lookout for the LTWWB fight of the century!!
Get a video camera, post it on YouTube, label it LTWWBUFC #1, NW vs. More.
Guaranteed it’ll be better than arguing over whether or not you should be on the other side of the escalator.
you could always take the stairs if you plan on walking…..
and all places with escalators have to have stairs …fire code it is required – you just have to look for them!
Here’s a suggestion to resolve the fight – find a mal where the up and down escalators cross-over and equip the two combatants with lances like in Ivanhoes day and let the best on line braveheart win.
Tilting at the MicMac!!! Bring on the lancers and ribbon waving maidens!
it’ll be like a joust…. nice.
any way we can get the escalators sped up a notch or two?
make it really interesting what with the impaling and all…
I think I would be best suited against more since his stats mirror that of my own quite closely… though I don’t consider him a douche for his escalator antics.
Certainly nowhere near never wrong… who sounds like a fucking Rtard for hip-checking old ladies and infants in strollers out of the way because they didn’t step to the side 6 fucking inches.
I’m a little late for this comment, but the Otis guy isn’t just covering his ass. An escalator is NOT designed to be used like stairs. The rise on the steps is higher than on stationary stairs (by about 2-3 inches I think) and so it is less safe to go up them then regular stairs. Certainly most people won’t notice the difference and can manage walking up them just fine, but the point is the equipment is not designed with the intent that people will walk up them.
The “walk left, stand right” policies usually come from the people who operate the escalators (like Toronto’s TTC) and not the manufacturers.
http://transit.toronto.on.ca/archives/data…
thanks miles now i know why i spaz out…as opposed to just being a regular spaz which i am
Isn’t the purpose of a fucking escalator to transport people to an elevated place without the need to walk? I sometimes let them take me to my destination… and I certainly don’t give a fuck concerning the side on which I stand. I mean, if someone comes up behind me and wants to get by, I would surely step aside. But if you just stand behind someone expecting them to know you want to get by without saying anything to them? You’re a fucktard OP…. I am sure having to wait the extra 15 seconds will determine whether or not your day will go according, precisely, to your retarded schedule.