I didn’t want to write this bitch, but this increasingly weird situation has driven me to share my observations on this whole thing. I’m sure by now everyone in Nova Scotia has heard of a certain missing girl. There are many people who have taken this situation and shown exactly what a strong community does in times of tragedy. They’ve come together and done what they can to help bring this poor girl home, despite the high unlikelihood of a positive result as the days pass by. However, this whole situation has increasingly grown into a complete farce. Despite what many of you residents of think, helping with a missing person case is not a fashion statement. This is not a competition to see who can put the most posters up, to use as a conversation starter about how much you’re doing to help at the water cooler. I understand putting these posters up is necessary to get the word out. But putting multiple posters up on every single telephone pole for kilometre after kilometre (and I mean every single pole, not an exaggeration) is excessive, and I have to question your motives. I’m sure many of you have the interest of this girl at heart, but there are others who simply are doing this to gain some sort of acceptance from the broad population. This is also not a competition to see who can put on the highest attended event, or using as a monetary gain. A candle light vigil, absolutely legitimate, a place to come together and spread hope of bringing this girl home. A gathering to release balloons as a show of support, yes, I suppose this would also be legitimate. If, of course, you didn’t charge people to participate. To the family of this girl, having your daughter go missing is a horrible, unthinkable situation. But you are looking terrible in the public eye when you are accepting these donations. It looks as though you are using this situation as a cash grab. This whole thing looks fucking weird. I know myself, that no one in my family would even contemplate accepting any money from the public. I guess it’s a pride thing. This whole thing has been completely bastardized. There is such a thing as overdoing it in just about every situation. What is going on now is a prime example. Maybe I’ll look like a heartless dick for bringing these situations up, but simply saying you’re doing this for the right reasons doesn’t make it so. Here’s hoping she’s brought home safe. — Disappointed in My Hometown
This article appears in Oct 20-26, 2011.
Are you sure it was her family who instigated the donations?
uh… you don’t look like a heartless dick.. but you ARE sort of nickle-and-diming tragedy. Just a wee bit….
I’m not sure how I feel about the donations – maybe legit if family is taking unpaid time off from work to look? I don’t think I’d be able to show up for work if this was happening to my child/sister/etc.
As far as the “bandwagon” complaint, if it was me/my family, I wouldn’t really give a shit why anyone is participating, as long as the effort is being made.
Why do people so love to associate themselves with a tragedy?
A lot of it is ego, Snoob. (See previous bitch) A lot of it is helplessness, anger at that helplessness, a desire to fight back, or be seen to be fighting back against a perceived wrong. Coupled with the desire to be there at the end. I don’t know if this is all bad. A symptom of the times I suppose. One word that I utterly despise is “closure”. I can think of wrongs that have been done to people that I love; closure will only come when I am dead and can no longer think about the damage inflicted.
Sorry for rambling. I’m not used to pretending to be deep and boy, does it show >; )
Keeping a good thought for the family and hoping against hope for a happy outcome. Rooo.
I agree OB. The family should not be accepting donations. It’s not like their house burnt down, or they need a car to make regular hospital visits for a sick and dying child. The girl is missing….how does that require money? There are no bills the family will need to pay as a result of the investigation or search.
Hey, color photocopies aren’t free, y’know.
no their house did NOT burn down but their world most certainly has in a sense. So maybe they are off work and still need to pay for I dunno… POWER and PHONE and FOOD. Could you imagine showing up to work and being able to actually work if your loved one was missing? I sure wouldn’t.
The other day I saw someone with one of these posters in their car window. “Twas quite ridiculous.
I know it’s not all bad. There just so often seems to be a lot of folks with a rather tenuous connection to a tragedy who seem to me to want in on the attention and sympathy for some bizarre reason. I find that rather trashy. I think we’re both right, Ivan. And you did a fine job a being deep! Ramble away!
Why the fuck would any of you hate on too many posters downtown or having a poster on a car window. Idiots. This is a ridiculous bitch. Who cares if some dipshit is getting involved for the ‘wrong’ reasons? Spread the word by any means necessary is what I say. And I guarantee that the donations are being used for essentials because working while your flesh and blood is missing…not gonna happen. Pride is the last thing you will be thinking about if your daughter was probably dead. Jesus Fucking Murphy.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure if I was missing that people would try to find me. This is probably the lowest a bitch could go.
sometimes o.p., things are not always what they seem to be. there are bullshitters out there everywhere, and people just get drawn into it, and sometimes get burned, for their trouble.
also when some people are lost or missing, they choose that route, to get away from family, and/or friends.not saying this is always the case, but yes, it does happen.
“Despite what many of you residents of think”
where is think? in Nova Scotia?
You guys DO realize that she’s probably dead, right?
Yes.
I don’t understand what releasing balloons does to help find a missing girl.
We had this same thing happen in my hometown earlier this year… she was a mother, a local girl who hung out with a rough crowd, she went missing. Anyway, it was/is really tragic, but it also made me crazy to see it all over facebook, constantly, pictures, posters, prayers, etc… and then when they found out it was the x-boyfriend (ya, she didn’t come home either), everyone was cursing and saying “I wish we had the death penalty, no one should take another life!”. Ironic right? It was really a loooooow point for some people I know, and it really makes you see people as the braindead sheeple (couldn’t resist, it’s very appropriate), just fappin’ the ole ego.
Anyway, it’s tough… you want to seem supportive, but is postering like crazy, posting it on FB every 30 minutes really the best way to do it? No.
Maybe a little too soon for a bitch about how unscrupulous you view a family in a time of tragedy. Who the fuck are you to decide how ethical this form of community charity is? I’m sure that if the family didn’t need the money to get them through they wouldn’t take it, or at least redonate it to some sort of charity for missing persons or something to that effect, but it’s hard to judge if you don’t wait long enough to see what happens. I doubt very highly they are sitting around thinking of frivolous ways to spend their spoils you heartless douchebag.
I’m sure your community would feel the same shame for you if you had the balls not to post this anonymously. I’ve seen some pretty low shit but anonymously raking a family, and supportive community over the coals during a time of tragedy is really close to the lowest common denominator.
Fortunately for you there are some more worthy people of the term lowest common denominator in your community, collecting money door to door and just keeping it. Way to showcase yourselves ya fuckin crackheads.
i can’t imagine what this family is going through and i’m sure the community feels helpless. so suck it up buttercup bitch
“You guys DO realize that she’s probably dead, right?” 🙁
OP, Why someone helps is less important than how they help.
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The girl is missing….how does that require money?
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Have you ever priced a “replacement daughter”?
Veeerrrrryyy expensive.
Hope te family has resolution soon either way.
Who cares?
If my child went missing, I don’t give a flying fuck as to others’ motivation for helping find him, AS LONG AS THEY HELP. Who cares if people are helping just to fit in? ITS STILL HELP.