My friend whom I admire and adore so much is getting married.
This is wonderful, and I am beyond happy for her, yet I feel this crushing melancholy inside that is tearing my to pieces. I was elated when I heard of the news, but when I got home I fell apart. I began crying and I couldn’t stop for hours.
I have never been in a romantic situation, and I’m almost into my mid-twenties. I feel ridiculous, but I can’t quit the way I feel right now, which is absolutely miserable. I’m not sure if I’m jealous, or just feeling bad for myself!
I just wish there was someone out there for me that loved me as much as I loved them.—Broken Hearted
This article appears in Apr 22-28, 2010.
Jesus fucking christ pull yourself together man. You’re in your twenties for crying out loud. Just pick your self up, and head out on the town with a few friends every now and then, and move on.
Sounds like you have some repressed emotions that were bottled up for quite too long. Just get over it and set your sights on the future.
And if you’re as desperate as you sound you’ll make a huge mistake and marry someone because you think you have to and most likely live to regret it.
(Biggest eye roll in the world) – Everything seems perfect when it happens to someone else – don’t be fooled, OP, you’re in love with the idea of being in love. Marriage is waaaaayyyyyy overrated – stop selling yourself a faux bill of goods and enjoy your life instead of whimpering over the fucking myth of ‘happily ever after’. There’s no such animal.
I remember when my best girl friends got married. I got upset at the fact that they actually going to go through with it. Marriage, is crap. And you know what, it’s a few years later, which includes a few children later and they are not happy. Find solace in the fact that you are single and able to to do what ever the hell you want. Here’s a great lyrical quote from the Stones,
“All of my friends at school grew up and
settled down
And they mortgaged up their lives
One things not said too much, but I think
it’s true
They just get married cause there’s nothing
else to do, so “
well… ya.
of all the fucking times.
I was late twenties… hell, still am.
thinks fall apart. people fall apart. life falls apart.
you’ll be crying at the wedding and, if you’re a true friend, consoling at the divorce.
plenty of people lately have been reminding me… you’re still very young.
you’ve only started coming into your own.
Happiness isn’t out there in someone you happen across and who brings everything you need to you.
Happiness is what you need in you to start… and if someone you meet enhances that, then you will know. I thought I knew… and it’s cryptic… but then again, I’m still very young too.
and Bro Tim, I can school them on regrets, don’t you worry about that.
OP, male/female/transgendered/talking fucking squirrel, if you even come back to read this and want to talk over some coffee(well I won’t have coffee but I hear that’s the popular, non-committal option) … or any of you bitches want to shout out…
or spam the shit outta me or whatever
zzzcoaster@gmail.com
spam, egg, sausage and spam that hasn’t got much spam in it
If I could play the world’s tiniest violin in text form, it would be right here amidst my comments.
OP…. you are ALMOST into your mid-twenties. Some people don’t even get this until their late-twenties or even early-thirties and beyond! Is it that you are looking too hard for the love of your life? Is there something wrong with you that you can’t meet guys period? There is no need to feel bad for yourself…. as far as I am concerned there is always a match for everyone, you just need to let it happen.
Do you date people OP? Do you find yourself easily interested by people or have you set your standards high? Perhaps it’s just confidence you lack….. I dunno, but again, there are plenty of people out there simply looking for someone to enjoy some time with. It’s starts off simple….. very simple. Go into each scenario with no expectations and you’ll find yourself pleasantly surprised. Be patient and the “romantic situation” which you crave will catch you off guard. Truthfully, it’s great in the beginning but not all it’s cracked up to be.
Get yourself a vibrator….oh wait, you’re dude…..well then settle for Fleshlight. Keeps on lovin’ with every tuggin’. LOL.
keep looking is my best advice,o.p.
My take on it is that OP’s female.
Y’know, I went to a bachelorette party this weekend and I was the ONLY single person there — everyone else was either married, engaged, pregnant, and/or had kids. And you know what? As nice as it is to have someone, it’s also nice to not have the bad that does come with the good.
I’m not going to say you’ll find someone, because not everyone does find someone, but there’s gotta be a reason why you’ve never been in a romantic relationship if you’re in your mid 20s — you have to figure out why (opportunity, personal issues, etc…) and work on that before you just go out and do something d-u-m-b because you’re lonely.
Work on yourself and don’t be so hung up on finding someone — honest to FUCK almost everyone I know, and everyone I’ve found have been by pure chance/accident, and yeah when we/they least expected it.
“almost everyone I know, and everyone I’ve found have been by pure chance/accident, and yeah when we/they least expected it.”
babygirl you said it.
there are lots of single guys here o.p.
Didn’t you realize that you liked her while she was dating her now finance? You should have made your move and told her how you feel earlier while she was only dating the guy. You can still do that, but it’ll mean being an asshole and risking your friendship.
yea maybe you should get in touch with your feelings umm a little less girlfriend 😉
Everyone has their time.
I don’t think OP’s into the one getting married — I think she’s just feeling bad for herself because she doesn’t have someone.
It’s just human nature to want what others have. I generally don’t give a shit about the fact that I’m single (it is what it is — why try and force something? it’ll happen when it happens), but when ALL your friends have diamonds on their left ring fingers and you’re at “that age” where more and more are getting engaged/married/procreating (mid-late 20s, esp)…sometimes it can bring out the lonely side of being single.
It happens to all of us, OP, on occasion. This weekend I went to a bachelorette and everyone there (except for the bride) has kids…so the topic of conversation was pretty much pregnancy and kids…for a few seconds I felt left out and then I realised that my cats are WAY better than kids: they don’t talk back, they’re self cleaning and you don’t have to change their shitty diapers or wake up at 3am to feed them. 🙂
Dear Marraige woes..
I read your bitch and started to wonder if maybe you are really gay and in denial of it. I am a lesbian and basically just came out so I can see why I’d come to this conclusion so easily, but I thought I’d offer it up as a suggestion.
Now that your friend is getting married, it brings the issue closer to home. If you’ve been in denial about it for a really long time then it is hard to process and understand your feelings as they happen. Also you used non-gender specific words in your “bitch”…just an idea…