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To my friend who jumped to her death earlier this month off the MacDonald – I wish I could have helped you more. I had no idea you were in such distress, wish I could have helped you get help. Didn’t know you needed help. God I feel like shit.
—Megan
This article appears in Aug 13-19, 2009.
19 Comments
Sorry for your loss Megan.
You need to talk to someone. It’s usually easier to talk to a stranger. Try HopeLine (1-800-SUICIDE), Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868), or a Nova Scotia based helpline, the Mental Health Mobile Crisis Team (1-888-429-8167). Good luck.
Yes, Megan, I echo nevermind. If you need someone to talk to, the people at Metro Help Line are a good resource: 421-1188.
i lost a friend to suicide a year or so ago..It is very tough. I know it is a cliche but time does heal it, and calling that line above can be very helpful. It ook me some time to get over it, as i knew we could have helped him. Anyway i wish you the best. and let me know if you need a shoulder to cry on or just a ear to listen.
I’m sure your words echo everyone who’s lost a loved one to suicide, Megan.
Tim and Heathro make excellent suggestions. I hope you’re able to work through this. All the best!
Megan, it is NOT your fault. Do not overanalze this. You are not a professional and even professionals can not always help. Mourn your friend and carry on with life.
Here we go again…..
I’m so sorry for your loss. Calling one of those numbers and talking to someone may help!
I had a very good friend in the 70s who did the same thing. I understand your heartache because my friend had (from all appearances) everything going for her. It took a few months for me to come to terms with the fact that she chose to die this way – so many of her friends would have helped her in a nanosecond if she had indicated any distress. I often think how horrible it must have been to bottle up all that pain to try to appear ‘normal’.
Megan- I lost both my Dad and younger sister to suicide. The first thing I needed to learn was that it was not my fault and that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to stop it. That is the place you need to get to. Then you take it from there. Good luck and God Bless.
Anybody wanna buy a shamwow?
I have a very good friend who works at the Dockyard in Halifax. He is one of the guy’s who has to go out & retrieve the jumpers who hit the water (or the rocks around the support legs) I can tell that all upset him & some of them really bother him, & he’s even fished a few out alive !
I know this will get me flack…but maybe if we had suicide booths, the friends & families of those who kill themselves will still be upset….but there won’t be the pain & sense of helplessness on those individuals who come & pick up the body(s).
I have no sympathy for some people who commit suicide. The ones who have a family, children, people who love and depend on them are fucking selfish cowards. I have sympathy for their families, not them. I don’t care what the reason was, debt, addiction, depression, wah wah wah. You don’t kill yourself and leave your loved ones behind to suffer. You suck it the fuck up and get help, if not for yourself, FOR THEM. I would never EVER do that to my family EVER.
My friends older brother committed suicide, he blew his brains out in the bathroom when nobody was home. His ten year old daughter found the mess he left behind. It messed her up real bad. She probably wouldn’t have the fucked up emotional problems she has now if he had, at the very least, the decency to kill himself somewhere where his family couldn’t find him.
I’ve heard that there is at least a person a week who jumps off the bridges. They keep it quiet so that more people don’t get the same idea.
I remember a guy in high school, distraught over his break up with his longtime g/f who jumped off the bridge. Now he’s in a wheelchair.
Fizz – you say that now and have a good reason to, but you’ve gotta stop and think of what it would be like to be in that person’s head. An extremely depressed person is barely in control of their body and may think of their family’s future for a moment, but then impulsively decide to think for themselves the next. Depression is categorized under a large umbrella of mental health issues that range from Schizophrenia to Bipolar disorder. When someone suffers from one of these illnesses, it seems they are acting ‘selfish’ – but in reality it stems from rather uncontrollable and reckless impulses that rarely enter the persons conscience. Ultimately when in that kind of mind state, the only person that can save them is someone else.
Hopefully none of us here will ever *truly* understand what causes people to do it. The moment you really understand it usually comes only a few minutes before the end.
I’ve been where you are right now. I’m sorry that you have to go through it at all, but I’m mad at your friend for putting you through this kind of guilt and pain.
Dying is easy. It’s living that’s the hard part.
Take care of yourself.
Yeah I’ve stopped and though about what it would be like to be in their heads.
Then I stopped and though about what it would be like to be in their families heads after they died.
No sympathy.
aww what a sin